for The Road Less Traveled2/6/2010 c51 DefineNightmare
This was a pretty cool story! Very interesting and action packed xD
Excellent Job!
*favs*
This was a pretty cool story! Very interesting and action packed xD
Excellent Job!
*favs*
4/1/2007 c10 A Reader
Okay, the plot is moving along. We learn a bit more about Rio. Another conversation with Sven.
I'm going to stop reading at this point, though, because quite frankly (constructive criticism coming up), 1) the plot, while it moves fast, doesn't interest me enough to keep me reading, 2) Rio is consistently a Mary Sue character who can evidently beat up big strong men without so much as being scratched-ten chapters is a bit long to ask any reader to keep believing that without any explanation, and 3) the characters are interesting but nothing really unique or endearing. I don't care about them enough to keep reading at this point.
It's not a badly-written story; I just don't find it interesting. My personal opinion. :)
Congratulations on your prolific nature, though-you've got quite a bit posted, and quantity is always to be applauded.
Best of luck in your writing.
G.K.L.
Okay, the plot is moving along. We learn a bit more about Rio. Another conversation with Sven.
I'm going to stop reading at this point, though, because quite frankly (constructive criticism coming up), 1) the plot, while it moves fast, doesn't interest me enough to keep me reading, 2) Rio is consistently a Mary Sue character who can evidently beat up big strong men without so much as being scratched-ten chapters is a bit long to ask any reader to keep believing that without any explanation, and 3) the characters are interesting but nothing really unique or endearing. I don't care about them enough to keep reading at this point.
It's not a badly-written story; I just don't find it interesting. My personal opinion. :)
Congratulations on your prolific nature, though-you've got quite a bit posted, and quantity is always to be applauded.
Best of luck in your writing.
G.K.L.
4/1/2007 c8 A Review
The accents in the dialogue are great, but... Mary Sue alert! Mary Sue alert! We need an explanation relatively soon-suspended disbelief is about to go crashing to the ground!
The accents in the dialogue are great, but... Mary Sue alert! Mary Sue alert! We need an explanation relatively soon-suspended disbelief is about to go crashing to the ground!
4/1/2007 c7 A Reader
Okay, Sven clears up some things. Rio overhearing Beelz is a bit of a plot stretch, but we'll let that slide for the moment.
Writing quality's still good.
Okay, Sven clears up some things. Rio overhearing Beelz is a bit of a plot stretch, but we'll let that slide for the moment.
Writing quality's still good.
4/1/2007 c4 A Reader
I really like your dialogue. The chapters move fast and are cleanly written.
At this point, though, I'll a little concerned that Rio might be a Mary Sue. She seems too good to be real-hopefully we get an explanation as to her incredible skills soon?
I really like your dialogue. The chapters move fast and are cleanly written.
At this point, though, I'll a little concerned that Rio might be a Mary Sue. She seems too good to be real-hopefully we get an explanation as to her incredible skills soon?
4/1/2007 c1 A reader
Great first chapter. I like your style and, so far, your protagonist. Definitely has personality.
Great first chapter. I like your style and, so far, your protagonist. Definitely has personality.
1/11/2007 c51 
1Bedlam Chaos
You made an incredible story with fantastic characters. Tara/Rio is fantastic. I could not stop from reading her story for almost two days. And I loved every inch of this story. Actually, I still love it. ^_^
You made wonderful work with this story. How can I greet you the way you deserves ? Dunno. Especially you living in the United States and me living across an ocean.
1Bedlam ChaosYou made an incredible story with fantastic characters. Tara/Rio is fantastic. I could not stop from reading her story for almost two days. And I loved every inch of this story. Actually, I still love it. ^_^
You made wonderful work with this story. How can I greet you the way you deserves ? Dunno. Especially you living in the United States and me living across an ocean.
7/31/2006 c20 atreyu love
hmm.. matt is a sort of a buttcrack.. yea, thats it.. but i like the story, so ill read more ^^
hmm.. matt is a sort of a buttcrack.. yea, thats it.. but i like the story, so ill read more ^^
5/22/2006 c51 shh silence
holy mother of god !you rock my god damned socks !some how you made large men running around in tights and make up seem ...not so ridiculous and stupid and then you added romance !holy shit !i bow down and worship at you feet !not to mention i saw now grammaror spelling ..completly ..wonderous
holy mother of god !you rock my god damned socks !some how you made large men running around in tights and make up seem ...not so ridiculous and stupid and then you added romance !holy shit !i bow down and worship at you feet !not to mention i saw now grammaror spelling ..completly ..wonderous
8/22/2005 c34 Pure
I applaud you for being able to write 3rd person p.o.v. this well. I just can’t get the hang of it. I like how you don’t confuse all the characters actions and dialog up.
I’ve finally adapted to Shannon and Rio... It took a while, though- 30 something chapters... I’m happy that Rio’s happy. It’s nice that she enjoys the sex too, as I never assumed her to and it wasn’t actually stated, well maybe it was- I forget things...
Oh, how I wish I had cable. I just looked up Shannon Moore pictures on google and whoa... Reading this makes me want to watch wrestling=)
I applaud you for being able to write 3rd person p.o.v. this well. I just can’t get the hang of it. I like how you don’t confuse all the characters actions and dialog up.
I’ve finally adapted to Shannon and Rio... It took a while, though- 30 something chapters... I’m happy that Rio’s happy. It’s nice that she enjoys the sex too, as I never assumed her to and it wasn’t actually stated, well maybe it was- I forget things...
Oh, how I wish I had cable. I just looked up Shannon Moore pictures on google and whoa... Reading this makes me want to watch wrestling=)
8/22/2005 c31 Pure
Oi...*shakes head* I am so freakin’ confused about my feelings for Shannon. He just rubs me the wrong way, but he also seems like a normal possessive guy. I must read more... Oh, maybe he rubs me the wrong way because Rio doesn’t seem ecstatic about their relationship... That may be why. *Shrugs*
Oi...*shakes head* I am so freakin’ confused about my feelings for Shannon. He just rubs me the wrong way, but he also seems like a normal possessive guy. I must read more... Oh, maybe he rubs me the wrong way because Rio doesn’t seem ecstatic about their relationship... That may be why. *Shrugs*