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for Of Things Past

11/27/2005 c11 2Casey Drake
an interesting story. I'll be watching this one.

:) CD
10/21/2005 c10 1rrmehta364
short but sweet. i wonder how this'll turn out. the description is superb, and the flow most excellent. ive struggled to find cc in anything. good job.
10/21/2005 c9 rrmehta364
i dont know if you repeated running in the first couple sentences of Brenyth on purpose or not, but it sounds kind of awkward. whats the syoracle. hmm...and why is he fighting this war anyways. curious as always, and ready to keep reading.
10/20/2005 c8 rrmehta364
why does the assasin want to burn the entire village down. i figure an assasin would appreciate delicacy in a job (i dont know for certain though) wait who is the one the assasin was looking for. im confuddled, ever so slightly.
10/20/2005 c7 rrmehta364
Andric is a most fascnating character. is he a good guy or a bad. I picture someone around the mold of Julius Ceasar or Alexander the Great.

Whats with Robyn, Ryne and Ryder's stories. i was a little confused (in the bad way) though not excessively so.

Oh, and Brenyth is evil. very evil...
10/20/2005 c6 rrmehta364
i find it hard to believe Andric killed everyone tht challenged him (unless he was way more than human) eventually, they'd tire and kill him outright. whoa, oracle is cool. i always liked mysterious oracles.
10/16/2005 c5 rrmehta364
i really lik the description of Lawnie's friend. really draws a picture in ones mind. very interesting, makng her blind. a very ominous ending. great chapter.
10/15/2005 c10 19Lara Bykirk
That was a short chapter, but very promising. I can't wait to see what will happen next between the three of them.
10/12/2005 c4 1rrmehta364
very well written, i like the characters. a lot of tension builing in the plot, and i like the way you subtly add tension to the plot, a lot of things could build from what you're writing. i like lawrie as well, though i dont know anyone who would talk so much about the trivial things in lives, when they met a member of a powerful immortal magical species. still, i like her friendliness, and hope they become friends. Shenn is cool as well, i was definately thinking cute little puppy dog by the way he was described following lawrie's description. i thnk you could enhance that feel by describing the way he looked. well, thats all for now.
10/11/2005 c3 rrmehta364
short, but interesting. id like to learn more about andric. good writing, no new cc.
10/11/2005 c2 rrmehta364
awesome chapter, i really liked the story so far. as far as cc is concerned, maybe give a few details about brenyth and the people at the coronation. you dont need to describe every deteail, but i feel that every scene should have a few so that we know how to imagine certain parts if that makes any sense. however, i really do like the flow of your language. something about the words you use, and how you use them. once again, im really not sure how to explain. anyways, good chapter, and good job.
10/10/2005 c1 rrmehta364
wow, how do u get so many ideas for so many awesome stories. im really curious about our protagonists immortality. the way she carries her emotions makes her feel fully human though. i really like the descriptions you used, i can picture the scene perfectly in my mind.
9/5/2005 c9 19Lara Bykirk
I really liked this chapter! I felt it explained a lot of things (such as a lot more about Ryne and Ryder) and pushed the plot along. I'm more and more interested in this Andric. I would just suggest using a little more descriptive language to give the reader a better sense for the surroundings.
9/2/2005 c8 Lara Bykirk
Interesting chapter...I'd like a little more information on the assassin, maybe a few hints as to his character and background-not too much, if he isn't important as a character, but enough to let the reader know that he's a real, distinct person. This would maybe explain why he would want to burn the whole village, instead of just killing his victim to make doubly sure that she was dead.
8/31/2005 c7 Lara Bykirk
Curiouser and curiouser, as Alice would say...your two new characters are very interesting. What could this curse be? Where will they fit into the plot? And who is this Chosen? And why is Brenyth killing the prisoner? So many questions...I'll just have to hope that they'll be answered later on. It's really better this way, with all the suspense.
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