for Memories of the Stars10/1/2005 c1 
32pointythings
I really love the format to this, and the first two stanzas are especially effective. The others are good too, and I love the imagery throughout the poem, but I think a few of the lines sound just a little cliched. The detailing is amazing, though. I love "a glimpse of the angels" and "when we tried to catch the Gods" (although I'm not sure "gods" is supposed to be capitalized in that context). Also, you might want to reword that stanza a little; the last line, "and we did," is potentially confusing. I knew what you meant, but still.Anyway, this is overall a lovely work. You're a master of detail and imagery, two things which I think are essential to most good writing. Keep up the good work!Yours in writing,~pointythings~
32pointythingsI really love the format to this, and the first two stanzas are especially effective. The others are good too, and I love the imagery throughout the poem, but I think a few of the lines sound just a little cliched. The detailing is amazing, though. I love "a glimpse of the angels" and "when we tried to catch the Gods" (although I'm not sure "gods" is supposed to be capitalized in that context). Also, you might want to reword that stanza a little; the last line, "and we did," is potentially confusing. I knew what you meant, but still.Anyway, this is overall a lovely work. You're a master of detail and imagery, two things which I think are essential to most good writing. Keep up the good work!Yours in writing,~pointythings~
11/21/2004 c1 2aqua-amethyst
that was so cute and endearing and charming and well...you know.
it took you a long time to write another one.
2aqua-amethystthat was so cute and endearing and charming and well...you know.
it took you a long time to write another one.