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1/6/2005 c5 9Dr. Beowulf
This is actually the writer of this story. If you're waiting for an update, sorry. I've been having a huge zombie-block I just saw "Shaun of the Dead" and I'm overwhelmed, so I can't write zombie material right now. So, I'm starting a story a bit easier to write. I'm not scrapping this project, but I can't update for awhile.
12/9/2004 c1 14Alatariel313
HI Dr. Beowulf (i am sorry i do not know your real name)why is dr.Beowulfyour name? are your a doctor? do you really like the blue cows? am i asking to many questions?
12/9/2004 c5 7Alareic
Thanks for the reviews. When did you start reading TTD? Anyway, this isn't bad, it's got a solid plot. How did TTD inspire you anyway? Thanks.

12/6/2004 c5 4Carradine
Regarding analyzing stuff, I hafta say, if your guess about why I wrote the Halo article wasn't wrong, it'd be right. Obviously that's a joke but what I mean is that I didn't just play Halo once and then go "Goddammit this pisses me off. I'm'a go complain about it." It's a culmination of years of me playing it and noticing things. I sat on the idea of the article for months and thought about it while playing the game before I put anything onto paper. I didn't even try to analyze things to write my Halo article - it was just my working knowledge applying itself without my consent to things in-game, so when it came time to write it out the essay kinda poured out of me in the order I present it in.

"However, for simple purposes of defense of Halo, it's the future. Things have happened, guns have changed."This is by far the most common way people who haven't seen the DVD of Halo 2's making defend Halo. In Halo 2's DVD the designers and THE gun guy, Robt Mclees, admit that they got a lot of stuff wrong. Anyway, the Halo defenders "listen" to what I have to say about as much as Bush listened to the UN and then say "well it's in the future so it's okay." Just because people set something 500 years in the future (or even a few, like Rainbow Six 3) they shouldn't get any kind of exception to the "things progress, not degrade" law. My response to the basic "cuz it's in the future" statement, which applies itself perfectly to what you said ("guns have changed") is, "then why didn't they?"

None of the guns in Halo are at all futuristic.

That said, your saying something about guns is basically a contradiction, and I say that with certainty. Why should I even consider anything you say when before you say it you say you don't know anything about guns?

I did consider what you said, though, it being "Also, if you know anything about the Spartans, they have a targeting system in their helmets, the guns don't. If a normal troop used a pistol, he wouldn't get any extra range off of it" and the previous bit about guns changing, and it still doesn't make sense why the guns in Halo aren't as good as the guns now.

I do know things about the SPARTANs. I knew about it before the article, but even then I checked through the game guide and the novels. I knew about the helmet-targeting thing, but as you seem to've forgotten SPARTAN helmet visors don't zoom (the pistol's scope was integral to the gun). Does that explain anything to you? Also, if there weren't scopes in the M6Ds, why would the M6Cs of Halo 2 in their descriptions say that they're stripped-down and because of it have no scopes? According to your rationale they'd still have a zoom feature in them, right? They don't. How's that?

I sincerely hope you enjoy not having pants on. I say that with complete sincerity, because I don't have any on either. Everything gets so much colder like that.
12/1/2004 c2 Carradine
This's progressing pretty well. Feels very much like Resident Evil/Biohazard still but that doesn't detract from its goodiness.
12/1/2004 c1 Carradine
The story's goin okay so far but it's imperfect.

For an extensive argument on the subject check out my thing "Guns, Perspective" and whatever the title is, but simply put guns are important in all things zombie.

1. "45' in her belt." To preface this and give you context this's one of the most common gun errors. I'd call it technical if it weren't so huge. .45 is a kind of bullet - no varieties of which are called a 45.' My guess's you're referring to a gun called an M1911A1, which Colt manufactures. But don't even worry about that cuz it was made in 1911 and is in no uncertain terms obsolete, and a BlackOps team sent by the government would use slightly more modern weapons, like a Heckler and Koch Mark 23, which fires the same kind of bullet as an M1911 except it carries five more bullets than the M1911 (12 to the M1911/A1's seven) and is a much better weapon. No offense to the M1911, though, cuz it's a damn good gun.

2. "his 50' cal sniper rifle." I'd mention knives here too but I don't really feel like it. I like how you were more specific that you were with the "45,'" but this isn't really an improvement, because as you may already know, "50'" is a caliber (size of bullet), like the .45 round. I'm not gonna get into ballistics until I get to the .44 bit but put simply, being more specific than "50' sniper rifle" is as imperative is being more specific than "45'" because...damn. I guess a compliment's in order, though, because if all you say is "45'" we as the reader don't even know that you're talking about a gun. But there are plenty of .50-cal "sniper" rifles. Like, the first real one was the Barrett M82 from 1982, and of course subsequent models, like the M82A1 and -A2 and -A1M/-A3, and the current M107. Anyway, there are plenty more, like the PGM Precision Hecate II, a French one which looks dramatically different from an M107 and carries only seven rounds (the standard-issue M107 magazine carries 11).

3. "and a 44' magnum in her hands." Say, how much do you know about .44 Mag recoil? That's a rhetorical question. A small person - like a doctor, say - would not carry such a heavy-caliber weapon. They wouldn't be able to control it. That said, stop referring to guns solely by their round type. This, admittedly, is better than "45,'" but hardly. a .44 Magnum is a kind of bullet, and hundreds of revolvers (the oldest kind of handgun. they work very simply and have cylindrical magazines which are usually integral parts of the weapon) use .44 Magnum rounds. Some self-loaders (AKA semi-automatics, magazine-fed pistols, or "automatics" to stupid people) do too, like any other gun Coonan made and the infamous IMI (Ta'as)/Magnum Research Industries Desert Eagle, a gun as misconceived as it is famous.

4. "Juan carried an AK47 and a standard-issue combat knife." Once again you don't identify the knife. Great idea. A worse idea is assuming that modern BlackOps teams would use Kalashnikov AK-47(hyphen is part of name)s. They're horribly inaccurate and while incredibly reliable they're simply obsolete. A BlackOps team would use guns more like Colt MR0977s (M4A1s - you might have heard them referred to as "M16s," which is as wildly incorrect as saying a modern BlackOps team would even consider using an AK-47 from 1947).

5. "Each one of them carried fragmentation grenades, smoke bombs, a gas mask, a shortsword, two uzis, and, of course, the standard, military-issue assault rifle. They were highly trained with each weapon in their veritable arsenals and could easily handle almost any situation. Riley himself carried a combat shotgun." It's long so I can sort of get it all over with. There are many types of frag and smoke grenades (because smoke bombs are fireworks). To which do you refer?Worse than that is the uzi thing. This is worse than "44' magnum," but still better than the "45'" thing. Y'see, nobody who has modern weapons or any kind of a choice - like a government - would use an "uzi" because many, many other kinds of guns are better than they are. Even then, BlackOps people wouldn't carry two of them. Even if they wanted to, or could prove it was as combat-effective as using something more...modern, they wouldn't be allowed to use them. Even then, why didn't you identify the manufacturer? It's IMI [Israeli Military Industries], AKA Ta'as Military Industries. Same people. I guess maybe you didn't know that, but for a zombie story you need to know your stuff. Shortsword? WTF?Assault rifle: why didn't you identify anything? This's almost as bad as the "45'" thing, cuz you're being so inspecific it's less descriptive than being vague. An assault rifle is a class of weapon, and there've been lots of entries into that field since Hitler coined the term assault rifle (or sturmgewehr in German) way back when with the STG44 (guess what STG stands for), to be brief.Combat shotgun? Huh? This doesn't even make sense. To make a shotgun a combat shotgun all you have to do is call it a combat shotgun. You could take a real nice over-and-under shotgun from Beretta and call it a friggin combat shotgun.

Looking back I think I got carried away, and if I did, or in any way offended you, I'm sincerely sorry. I don't mean to be rude but I tend to come across that way.The point of this review is that your story is okay but you need to do some fact-checking. I don't expect you do have five paragraphs on the specific caliber of each weapon of each person in your team and indivivual bullet weights (mostly because there's never a reason to mention that much in a zombie story) or anything crazy like that, but yo, you REALLY need to know what you're talking about. If all you wanted to do was have fun then cool, but let me be an advisor to you or something. I can't let such huge mistakes go.
12/1/2004 c4 skrewy
i know i already reviewed the first three chapters and stuff but i wanted to review this too. i like it and all but the story just seems a bit too "resident evil"-ish to me. i do hope the next chapter appears soon though.
11/30/2004 c3 skrewy
NO! NEED...MORE...CHAPTERS! omg!excellent story needs to be finished.
11/24/2004 c2 44GreenLantern500
I think I'll review EVERY chapter. That ought to drive you mad eventually. Still awesome, keep it up.
11/22/2004 c1 GreenLantern500
Ha ha, I'm the first reviewer of your first story. Do I get a No-Prize? Ahem... anyway, awesome stuff. I can't wait for the next chapter.

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