for The Choice6/22/2015 c11 Guest
Boring, cliched, and completely devoid of feeling and passion. I know you said you liked this story, but dear god, this was such a shoddy story. I try to finish every story I read, even if it's bad, but this crossed the line. It's actually downright insulting to people who have an eating disorder and self harm, like myself. You've depicted such people as basic, one-dimensional people, when there's so much more to them. I do hope you realise that this was a godawful novel, and that you should refrain from writing.
Boring, cliched, and completely devoid of feeling and passion. I know you said you liked this story, but dear god, this was such a shoddy story. I try to finish every story I read, even if it's bad, but this crossed the line. It's actually downright insulting to people who have an eating disorder and self harm, like myself. You've depicted such people as basic, one-dimensional people, when there's so much more to them. I do hope you realise that this was a godawful novel, and that you should refrain from writing.
6/21/2015 c2 Guest
Do you even know what having an eating disorder is like? This story has sucked out all the complexities and arduous battles of having an ED.
Do you even know what having an eating disorder is like? This story has sucked out all the complexities and arduous battles of having an ED.
6/21/2015 c1 Guest
Good idea for a story, but it's far too basic - it's very bland and flat, there's no life or feel to it.
Good idea for a story, but it's far too basic - it's very bland and flat, there's no life or feel to it.
5/1/2009 c16 h
I'm sorry but i found it unrealistic.
You have potential, but this wasn't great.
I found many faults in how the story went along, with the whole issue about eating disorders (and self harm) in general. - You needed more research into the topic.
I'm sorry but i found it unrealistic.
You have potential, but this wasn't great.
I found many faults in how the story went along, with the whole issue about eating disorders (and self harm) in general. - You needed more research into the topic.
4/27/2008 c16 
13dex2468
Right I finished it. I have to say that you have potential - if you can write 16 chapters then you do have potential as a writer.
HOWEVER
1. You need to add alot more description
2. You need to research your topic - no offense but alot of this was implausible
- ipecac - abuse often causes damage to the eusophogus and heart problems
- weight - doesn't jump around as much don't forget that ED's screw with the metabolism - bulimia can also lead to weight gain
-self harm - it does not feel 'good' it hurts no matter how long you've been doing it
3. Write a plan and stick to - this was details don't change ie schizophrenia and SI
4. Get a beta - especially one who can help you with description.
Finally I ED's are such a serious thing that if you don't know about it don't write about it. Ignorance doesn't help anyone.
If you have any questions about any of the points I made or want to ask something about ED's then email me.
13dex2468Right I finished it. I have to say that you have potential - if you can write 16 chapters then you do have potential as a writer.
HOWEVER
1. You need to add alot more description
2. You need to research your topic - no offense but alot of this was implausible
- ipecac - abuse often causes damage to the eusophogus and heart problems
- weight - doesn't jump around as much don't forget that ED's screw with the metabolism - bulimia can also lead to weight gain
-self harm - it does not feel 'good' it hurts no matter how long you've been doing it
3. Write a plan and stick to - this was details don't change ie schizophrenia and SI
4. Get a beta - especially one who can help you with description.
Finally I ED's are such a serious thing that if you don't know about it don't write about it. Ignorance doesn't help anyone.
If you have any questions about any of the points I made or want to ask something about ED's then email me.
4/5/2008 c14 NotSoBeautifulDisaster
Now this is sounding like bad sci fi.
Schizophrenia... what a horrible disease... but I don't see you mentioning it in here... you should...
Now this is sounding like bad sci fi.
Schizophrenia... what a horrible disease... but I don't see you mentioning it in here... you should...
4/5/2008 c11 NotSoBeautifulDisaster
"Perfectionists are always the ones who get this."
That is just about the stupidest thing I have EVER heard...
"Perfectionists are always the ones who get this."
That is just about the stupidest thing I have EVER heard...
4/5/2008 c10 NotSoBeautifulDisaster
They also supervise meals in the early stages of ED rehab, as well as bathroom breaks, so there is no throwing food out, and no purging.
And people with eating disorders don't just stop on their own.
They also supervise meals in the early stages of ED rehab, as well as bathroom breaks, so there is no throwing food out, and no purging.
And people with eating disorders don't just stop on their own.
4/5/2008 c9 NotSoBeautifulDisaster
With anorexic patients they check and they either weigh them nude, or in just a hospital gown, and usually "blind", which is with them facing backwards, so they won't know what they weigh.
Research is STILL key... -_-
With anorexic patients they check and they either weigh them nude, or in just a hospital gown, and usually "blind", which is with them facing backwards, so they won't know what they weigh.
Research is STILL key... -_-
4/5/2008 c8 NotSoBeautifulDisaster
Whoa hold it! A girl was in the hospital because she fainted? DO you live under a rock?
And there are no tests that can be done to tell exactly how long someone has starved themselves. Unless the other signs (dry skin, hair loss, under nourishment, weight loss, etc.) are present, they can't really tell it at all, because once food is digested, it's gone. There's no way to tell if it's been days or weeks since someone has eaten.
RESEARCH IS KEY!
Whoa hold it! A girl was in the hospital because she fainted? DO you live under a rock?
And there are no tests that can be done to tell exactly how long someone has starved themselves. Unless the other signs (dry skin, hair loss, under nourishment, weight loss, etc.) are present, they can't really tell it at all, because once food is digested, it's gone. There's no way to tell if it's been days or weeks since someone has eaten.
RESEARCH IS KEY!
4/5/2008 c7 NotSoBeautifulDisaster
Oh and what's with the schizophrenia? I mean you said it's what she's thinking, but normal people don't talk to their brains as if it's a whole different person. And if it was what she was thinking, would she know whether or not she been cheating or not? Or is she just that mentally out of it?
It's confusing and kind of amatuer...
Oh and what's with the schizophrenia? I mean you said it's what she's thinking, but normal people don't talk to their brains as if it's a whole different person. And if it was what she was thinking, would she know whether or not she been cheating or not? Or is she just that mentally out of it?
It's confusing and kind of amatuer...
4/5/2008 c6 NotSoBeautifulDisaster
Um, okay, so I don't really know what to say. I mean, no, I don't LIKE your story. No offense, I'm very hard to please. One, you apparently haven't reasearch the topic very well. That VomitX stuff you MADE UP... you don't just make up random stuff when there are real life things you could use. Ipecac abuse is commonly associated with bulimia. If you'd have research you'd have known. You don't just make up random things, because otherwise you're story isn't going to be believable. And the thing she got from UPS... what is that... like some kind of vibrator thing? 'Cuz if so you probably should have looked up the name of a real product.
And the cutting part... that's the most riculous thing of all. No one drags a knife across their skin and says "Wow that felt good!" No one... even if it's self inflicted it hurts. That's never what's going through the mind of a cutter especially the first time.
I think if you researched your subject you COULD have a lot of potential. It's hard to tell when you don't research your subject, and I hang on every single the you completely screw up about the whole eating disorder lifestyle. Try again, but next time do your research.
Um, okay, so I don't really know what to say. I mean, no, I don't LIKE your story. No offense, I'm very hard to please. One, you apparently haven't reasearch the topic very well. That VomitX stuff you MADE UP... you don't just make up random stuff when there are real life things you could use. Ipecac abuse is commonly associated with bulimia. If you'd have research you'd have known. You don't just make up random things, because otherwise you're story isn't going to be believable. And the thing she got from UPS... what is that... like some kind of vibrator thing? 'Cuz if so you probably should have looked up the name of a real product.
And the cutting part... that's the most riculous thing of all. No one drags a knife across their skin and says "Wow that felt good!" No one... even if it's self inflicted it hurts. That's never what's going through the mind of a cutter especially the first time.
I think if you researched your subject you COULD have a lot of potential. It's hard to tell when you don't research your subject, and I hang on every single the you completely screw up about the whole eating disorder lifestyle. Try again, but next time do your research.
4/7/2007 c5 angely
it does exist but is called ipeceac
it does exist but is called ipeceac
9/8/2006 c16 Anastacia
she went into cadiac arrest?
she went into cadiac arrest?
4/13/2005 c16 Writerofascientist
Eating Disorders are scary little things, eh? I don't know if you went through stuff like this yourself, but if you did, I sympathize with you. I enjoyed reading this.
Eating Disorders are scary little things, eh? I don't know if you went through stuff like this yourself, but if you did, I sympathize with you. I enjoyed reading this.