for The Obligatory InterDimensional Rift12/21/2004 c4 
5A.R.B
Ack! Chapter shortness! Evil! EVIL!
I like this: it's funny yet intruiging at the same time. Lian's character amuses me to no end, and Col looks interesting. I guessed he was some sort of royal relation. Wonder what they're planning to do with the odd paper-crane-making girl they've got locked in thier dungeon...
Update soon. (shakes fist) update!
5A.R.BAck! Chapter shortness! Evil! EVIL!
I like this: it's funny yet intruiging at the same time. Lian's character amuses me to no end, and Col looks interesting. I guessed he was some sort of royal relation. Wonder what they're planning to do with the odd paper-crane-making girl they've got locked in thier dungeon...
Update soon. (shakes fist) update!
12/15/2004 c4 KonekOniko
too lazy to log on...anyways, this story is pretty cool. It's been an enjoyable read and *thank god* no mary-sues. in my opinion, one mary sue ruins the whole story. hope to see this updated soon!
~Sumi-chan; what you call love, I call pain
too lazy to log on...anyways, this story is pretty cool. It's been an enjoyable read and *thank god* no mary-sues. in my opinion, one mary sue ruins the whole story. hope to see this updated soon!
~Sumi-chan; what you call love, I call pain
12/11/2004 c4 22Loki Mischeif-Maker
Another chapter! Yay! And more to chew on. Brilliantly evil of you, cutting off there. Unfortunately, I think I prefer the length of chapter two - though I see why two and three don't really mesh as one.
Good characterization - your dialogue is good as usual! I'm still interested in Night and Col! Explain! Please? Yes you have my curiosity! Interestingly, though, I had the sneaking suspicion Col was some kind of royal relative - though both Darius and Night are both too young to have a son. . . . One nitpicky grammar thing - "the guards weren't exactly you allies, either". Shoulda been "your".
Good chapter, update soon! (Yes, technology can be evil, as is writers' block - reduced to beating my head with a civil war novel the other day about it- all accomplished was a bloody headache)
Cheers!
22Loki Mischeif-MakerAnother chapter! Yay! And more to chew on. Brilliantly evil of you, cutting off there. Unfortunately, I think I prefer the length of chapter two - though I see why two and three don't really mesh as one.
Good characterization - your dialogue is good as usual! I'm still interested in Night and Col! Explain! Please? Yes you have my curiosity! Interestingly, though, I had the sneaking suspicion Col was some kind of royal relative - though both Darius and Night are both too young to have a son. . . . One nitpicky grammar thing - "the guards weren't exactly you allies, either". Shoulda been "your".
Good chapter, update soon! (Yes, technology can be evil, as is writers' block - reduced to beating my head with a civil war novel the other day about it- all accomplished was a bloody headache)
Cheers!
12/6/2004 c3 Loki Mischeif-Maker
Cliffie! That's just not fair. I'm REALLY curious as to Night and Col right now, but thanks for the update!
Hmm. . . good characterization and discription (really good discription), good, but short, chapter altogether. One thing I caught, grammatically - there's an "as" instead of an "a" in there somewhere.
All in all, though, good story, good chapter! UPDATE SOON!
Cheers!
Cliffie! That's just not fair. I'm REALLY curious as to Night and Col right now, but thanks for the update!
Hmm. . . good characterization and discription (really good discription), good, but short, chapter altogether. One thing I caught, grammatically - there's an "as" instead of an "a" in there somewhere.
All in all, though, good story, good chapter! UPDATE SOON!
Cheers!
12/1/2004 c2 10Quid
Parade? Highness? Col? If they don't kill her then what are they supposed to do? Whats with the birthmark? I'm sure it's important somehow... And why does the prince know this person who Lian just randomly ran into when being attacked? Write more and explain!
10QuidParade? Highness? Col? If they don't kill her then what are they supposed to do? Whats with the birthmark? I'm sure it's important somehow... And why does the prince know this person who Lian just randomly ran into when being attacked? Write more and explain!
12/1/2004 c1 Quid
Seeds? Well interesting start. I quite like Lian... Can I quote you on the 'I figure every writer writes one of these sometime in their life, unless they don't.'? I found that very amusing. And now I shall continue reading. Good chapter, it's got me interested.
Seeds? Well interesting start. I quite like Lian... Can I quote you on the 'I figure every writer writes one of these sometime in their life, unless they don't.'? I found that very amusing. And now I shall continue reading. Good chapter, it's got me interested.
12/1/2004 c2 22Loki Mischeif-Maker
Actually, there's nothing wrong with Lian's name, although it sounded a bit parodic - "Actualis" as in "unlike protagonists in some of these fics, she has an ACTUAL personality". I dunno. It just struck me. Dark parody is good.
Good discription, good action. Night's character (and name) interests me. I'm not sure about Darius - maybe its the historical connotations of his name, particularly if any of your characters at all resemble Alexander. Col also interests me. WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT ABOUT HIM?
Good story. Update soon.
Cheers!
22Loki Mischeif-MakerActually, there's nothing wrong with Lian's name, although it sounded a bit parodic - "Actualis" as in "unlike protagonists in some of these fics, she has an ACTUAL personality". I dunno. It just struck me. Dark parody is good.
Good discription, good action. Night's character (and name) interests me. I'm not sure about Darius - maybe its the historical connotations of his name, particularly if any of your characters at all resemble Alexander. Col also interests me. WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT ABOUT HIM?
Good story. Update soon.
Cheers!
11/23/2004 c1 9Lomiel
I -am- loving this. Antiheroes rock. I'm not wild about the colorful language, but it certainly...adds to Lian's character. Definately not a Mary-Sue. *shakes fist at the Mary-Sues of the world* By the way, I hope you'll explain what a Verdant is. I like this random child with his seeds already. Shimoyo Lomiel
9LomielI -am- loving this. Antiheroes rock. I'm not wild about the colorful language, but it certainly...adds to Lian's character. Definately not a Mary-Sue. *shakes fist at the Mary-Sues of the world* By the way, I hope you'll explain what a Verdant is. I like this random child with his seeds already. Shimoyo Lomiel
11/23/2004 c1 22Loki Mischeif-Maker
Lian Actualis? Is this even slightly parodic, because it sure looks like it might be. . . .
Anyway, great chapter, looks like the beginning of yet another awesome story. I love your sarcasm, and Lian, like most of the characters I've seen you write, feels real.
Great discription, good characterization so far as I can see. I didn't catch any grammar errors, either.
This CANNOT be a one-shot! Please update soon with whatever she ducked!
Cheers!
22Loki Mischeif-MakerLian Actualis? Is this even slightly parodic, because it sure looks like it might be. . . .
Anyway, great chapter, looks like the beginning of yet another awesome story. I love your sarcasm, and Lian, like most of the characters I've seen you write, feels real.
Great discription, good characterization so far as I can see. I didn't catch any grammar errors, either.
This CANNOT be a one-shot! Please update soon with whatever she ducked!
Cheers!