for I got Your Back3/18/2005 c13 Udon'tknowme
OK, well, this story has a good plot and all... but I must say that it would be so much better if you put some detail into it. I just feel like the chapters are too short, and you're just cutting it off so soon because you can't think of anything else to write. It has potential, don't get me wrong, i think it does. As for the whole fifth grader thing... well, maybe you've got to MAKE it seem believable. Detail might help with that too. Just some suggestions, good luck!
OK, well, this story has a good plot and all... but I must say that it would be so much better if you put some detail into it. I just feel like the chapters are too short, and you're just cutting it off so soon because you can't think of anything else to write. It has potential, don't get me wrong, i think it does. As for the whole fifth grader thing... well, maybe you've got to MAKE it seem believable. Detail might help with that too. Just some suggestions, good luck!
312/29/2004 c8 Evan
No offense, and I know you're only 13 and what not.. but the fifth grade flashback was not at all realistic. Think about it. How many fifth graders did you know that did that? I know I didn't know any that kissed for five minutes, much less at all. Most kids at the fifth grade level aren't interested in the opposite sex in that way.
No offense, and I know you're only 13 and what not.. but the fifth grade flashback was not at all realistic. Think about it. How many fifth graders did you know that did that? I know I didn't know any that kissed for five minutes, much less at all. Most kids at the fifth grade level aren't interested in the opposite sex in that way.
12/10/2004 c5 Chrisi
aww hun,dont worry about what one person says...there jus jealous cuz they kno you're a better writer than they will ever be...keep writing,keep your head up & don't let what jealous people say hurt you!good luck & good job so far..if u wanna talk jus email me at *love always*Chrisi
aww hun,dont worry about what one person says...there jus jealous cuz they kno you're a better writer than they will ever be...keep writing,keep your head up & don't let what jealous people say hurt you!good luck & good job so far..if u wanna talk jus email me at *love always*Chrisi
12/9/2004 c5 jplfanclub
heres advice THERE BETTER BE MORE TO THE STORY i love it man
heres advice THERE BETTER BE MORE TO THE STORY i love it man
12/7/2004 c1 becca
i thought that story waz pretty cool.{did you ever consider job as a writer}
i thought that story waz pretty cool.{did you ever consider job as a writer}