for Chasing Mussolini3/21/2013 c25 lizi0591
GREAT STORY! I really love how the characters were developed and the plot twists always kept me hooked...LOVE IT! *favourites story* _
GREAT STORY! I really love how the characters were developed and the plot twists always kept me hooked...LOVE IT! *favourites story* _
9/9/2012 c13 Pissed
Pior grammar with poor punctuations. I don't know how you people manage to read stories with poor punctuations
Pior grammar with poor punctuations. I don't know how you people manage to read stories with poor punctuations
7/13/2012 c18 ooglemac
this chapter made me cry :'(
really good writing!
why no quotes, though? kinda hard to read...
this chapter made me cry :'(
really good writing!
why no quotes, though? kinda hard to read...
7/12/2012 c13 ooglemac
teehee- whenever i say "ai yai yai" everybody looks at me like "Wtf?"
glad i'm not the only one
teehee- whenever i say "ai yai yai" everybody looks at me like "Wtf?"
glad i'm not the only one
7/12/2012 c12 ooglemac
I like the story. but- abercrombie goons?
tell me that you don't think that those sweatpants are a heavenly kind of soft.
lol, anyways, you're a great writer :D
I like the story. but- abercrombie goons?
tell me that you don't think that those sweatpants are a heavenly kind of soft.
lol, anyways, you're a great writer :D
9/26/2010 c25 Lhdg
Ok, i dont even know why i read this story. The plot was not there, one thing had nothing to do with the other, and seriously what was up with the sheep? I was expecting soo much more. Try harder, I am sure you can do soo much better. Ta Ta
Ok, i dont even know why i read this story. The plot was not there, one thing had nothing to do with the other, and seriously what was up with the sheep? I was expecting soo much more. Try harder, I am sure you can do soo much better. Ta Ta
8/29/2010 c23 TheOneAndOnly
Tessa is doing exactly what Ian was doing, and I have been crying and feeling horribly because I can imagine what both of them are feeling.
Tessa is doing exactly what Ian was doing, and I have been crying and feeling horribly because I can imagine what both of them are feeling.
7/7/2010 c25 
1Skye Bubble
i absolutely loved this story. but i am so bummed about Ian :( make a second story please.
1Skye Bubblei absolutely loved this story. but i am so bummed about Ian :( make a second story please.
4/23/2010 c25 Genato
You totally need to re-edit this whole thing. PLEASE put quotation marks when there's a conversation because it's really painful reading stuff without them. There are some spelling and grammar mistakes too. Plus, I don't like the way Jake and Ian used the same endearments...except Doll? And there are other loose ends... like why did Ian hang out with Gemma even if she was a whore. I mean, the answer's obvious, but it'll be really great if it came from Ian himself, you know? And the title's Chasing Mussolini so I would have expected the sheep to appear again or whatever, but that's not so important. Plus, there's this once chapter where you didn't separate the paragraphs. At all. IT was really painful to read...
However... your story has a good plot. I totally loved the conversation between Forrest and Ian. I was her first kiss. I was her BEST kiss. lol. And I would have liked it better if you uhm.. gave more character development. Like, there was some change in the characters after the whole going-to-Maine thing. I dunno. I want you to read your story again. Edit the parts where you cringe or whatever. Also, I want you to make the characters to be less fickle? I mean, maybe Tess should've learned from not keeping in touch from her Maine friends and shoul've called Pearls&Glory a bit more. What happened to Gemma? I cringed many times but I can recognize the potential in this story, you know?
I know you don't know me or whatever and you might be cursing me or maybe wondering what right I have to say when I haven't posted anything or whatever. I just... I dunno. I've read a lot already in FP and I want to see you improve, you know? AND DON'T FORGET THE QUOTATION MARKS.
You totally need to re-edit this whole thing. PLEASE put quotation marks when there's a conversation because it's really painful reading stuff without them. There are some spelling and grammar mistakes too. Plus, I don't like the way Jake and Ian used the same endearments...except Doll? And there are other loose ends... like why did Ian hang out with Gemma even if she was a whore. I mean, the answer's obvious, but it'll be really great if it came from Ian himself, you know? And the title's Chasing Mussolini so I would have expected the sheep to appear again or whatever, but that's not so important. Plus, there's this once chapter where you didn't separate the paragraphs. At all. IT was really painful to read...
However... your story has a good plot. I totally loved the conversation between Forrest and Ian. I was her first kiss. I was her BEST kiss. lol. And I would have liked it better if you uhm.. gave more character development. Like, there was some change in the characters after the whole going-to-Maine thing. I dunno. I want you to read your story again. Edit the parts where you cringe or whatever. Also, I want you to make the characters to be less fickle? I mean, maybe Tess should've learned from not keeping in touch from her Maine friends and shoul've called Pearls&Glory a bit more. What happened to Gemma? I cringed many times but I can recognize the potential in this story, you know?
I know you don't know me or whatever and you might be cursing me or maybe wondering what right I have to say when I haven't posted anything or whatever. I just... I dunno. I've read a lot already in FP and I want to see you improve, you know? AND DON'T FORGET THE QUOTATION MARKS.
3/20/2010 c5 ShadowHeHaHo-deleted
You still have a few grammatical errors. Make sure if you edit your writing yourself that you go back and edit at least a full 24 hours after finishing the chapter. Also, you kept switching between 'Julia' and 'Jules'. Pick one and stick with it and this chapter will flow much better. It kind of sucks that you've already written and posted the whole story, but maybe, if you wanted to, you could go back and edit it again.
You still have a few grammatical errors. Make sure if you edit your writing yourself that you go back and edit at least a full 24 hours after finishing the chapter. Also, you kept switching between 'Julia' and 'Jules'. Pick one and stick with it and this chapter will flow much better. It kind of sucks that you've already written and posted the whole story, but maybe, if you wanted to, you could go back and edit it again.
3/20/2010 c4 ShadowHeHaHo-deleted
I really like this, you had a couple grammatical mistakes, but they weren't too bad.
I really like this, you had a couple grammatical mistakes, but they weren't too bad.
12/29/2009 c25 ghurl00
That was an awesome story! You're a legend! I like Bryan best! He's so cute!=) OMG! Ian and Tess are so cute!=) Thumbs up!
That was an awesome story! You're a legend! I like Bryan best! He's so cute!=) OMG! Ian and Tess are so cute!=) Thumbs up!
9/17/2009 c25 i-wish-i-had-wings
i was so happy when tess and ian got together, and the way you fit the song in was amazing! i did like that they broke up though (i'm weird like that)..it kept the story heart wrenching realistic. and i loved that she still has her boys ^^ thank you so much for a wonderful story!
i was so happy when tess and ian got together, and the way you fit the song in was amazing! i did like that they broke up though (i'm weird like that)..it kept the story heart wrenching realistic. and i loved that she still has her boys ^^ thank you so much for a wonderful story!