for Summer of the Japanese Beetles11/4/2012 c1 Acc0untKiller
This is awesome. I absolutely loved this story.
I liked the motif of Orange ladybugs or man-bugs. And I loved the fact that your protagonist was a person going through depression.
Not many people can write about depressed people without making them sound like pathetic cry-babies.
I believe that you gave an accurate portrayal.
And each one of your characters - Audy, Allan etc. - each one of them had their own voice. And they all felt like real people, characters with depth.
Your writing style is humorous yet poetic. I have no idea how you do that.
I did not anticipate the twist at the end.
Fantastic story. Fantastic character.
Please keep writing.
This is awesome. I absolutely loved this story.
I liked the motif of Orange ladybugs or man-bugs. And I loved the fact that your protagonist was a person going through depression.
Not many people can write about depressed people without making them sound like pathetic cry-babies.
I believe that you gave an accurate portrayal.
And each one of your characters - Audy, Allan etc. - each one of them had their own voice. And they all felt like real people, characters with depth.
Your writing style is humorous yet poetic. I have no idea how you do that.
I did not anticipate the twist at the end.
Fantastic story. Fantastic character.
Please keep writing.
6/7/2010 c1 yuanyuan
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5/26/2009 c1 MockingJuliet
Wow. This was just beautiful. I loved it! You told me there was a twist and yet, I didn't see it comeing really haha Your a wonderful writer and your story here was just as wonderful. Keep writing!
Wow. This was just beautiful. I loved it! You told me there was a twist and yet, I didn't see it comeing really haha Your a wonderful writer and your story here was just as wonderful. Keep writing!
4/30/2009 c1 Espionage In My Shoe
Wow. Honestly, I feel really inspired for some reason.
I was entirely sucked in while I read this; I only just realized that my iTunes had been playing the whole time I read. I'd entirely blocked it out! Haha!
Anyway, this story was extremely... incredible. I really, really liked it. While reading it, it "feels" like reality and Emile seems like a real person that I'm reading about who actually lived and wrote this herself. The situation is unusual, but I believe it because of how it was told. You write very, very well. The feelings were portrayed brilliantly and each character was singular- what I mean is, well, they were all fleshed-out in a way that was *them* and only them. Does that make sense?
I wish that I could figure out how to express what I want to say the way that you do. ;) All of this flowed so perfectly, it was seamless in its utter uniqueness. =) I feel like I should thank you for the opportunity to read this. So,
Thank You!
Love, Shoe.
Wow. Honestly, I feel really inspired for some reason.
I was entirely sucked in while I read this; I only just realized that my iTunes had been playing the whole time I read. I'd entirely blocked it out! Haha!
Anyway, this story was extremely... incredible. I really, really liked it. While reading it, it "feels" like reality and Emile seems like a real person that I'm reading about who actually lived and wrote this herself. The situation is unusual, but I believe it because of how it was told. You write very, very well. The feelings were portrayed brilliantly and each character was singular- what I mean is, well, they were all fleshed-out in a way that was *them* and only them. Does that make sense?
I wish that I could figure out how to express what I want to say the way that you do. ;) All of this flowed so perfectly, it was seamless in its utter uniqueness. =) I feel like I should thank you for the opportunity to read this. So,
Thank You!
Love, Shoe.
8/19/2006 c1 
22whacked
Quite interesting. I really enjoyed this one shot, it was one of the rare ones that had me on the edge and guessing at all times. But yes, I admit, a little hard to get through, but one could also turn that around into a good thing. I can't really give much in the way of advice, but if there was scene you had to work on it would be the one with the doctor, I don't know why but it didn't sit with me particualrly well. (and perhaps a more powerful ending?) but at the same time I do like the ending for how normal it is because it shows her return to normal life (so maybe you really shouldn't listen to me afterall). Totally didn't expect the twist but it did remind me of A Beautiful Mind (but was an interesting twist either way).
22whackedQuite interesting. I really enjoyed this one shot, it was one of the rare ones that had me on the edge and guessing at all times. But yes, I admit, a little hard to get through, but one could also turn that around into a good thing. I can't really give much in the way of advice, but if there was scene you had to work on it would be the one with the doctor, I don't know why but it didn't sit with me particualrly well. (and perhaps a more powerful ending?) but at the same time I do like the ending for how normal it is because it shows her return to normal life (so maybe you really shouldn't listen to me afterall). Totally didn't expect the twist but it did remind me of A Beautiful Mind (but was an interesting twist either way).
8/19/2006 c1 barmy and battered
I love this. Your writing style flows perfectly, and the twist surprised me. I completely hadn't aniticipated it. (I thought the twist would be something like she realises that she is gay and in love with audey after the crash in which audey would die).
I found the car crash symbolic (or this might just be me being pretentious again) because in that crash, audey dies and she restarts her life. That crash was needed, in a way.
Anyway, just reviewed to say you write beautifully and that I really enjoed reading this, so in my favourite stories it goes!
I love this. Your writing style flows perfectly, and the twist surprised me. I completely hadn't aniticipated it. (I thought the twist would be something like she realises that she is gay and in love with audey after the crash in which audey would die).
I found the car crash symbolic (or this might just be me being pretentious again) because in that crash, audey dies and she restarts her life. That crash was needed, in a way.
Anyway, just reviewed to say you write beautifully and that I really enjoed reading this, so in my favourite stories it goes!
7/15/2006 c1 219S Noelle Long
What an interesting read. One of the more original stories here on FP.com. I love how it's written. I love the twist at the end. You've done a wonderful job.
219S Noelle LongWhat an interesting read. One of the more original stories here on FP.com. I love how it's written. I love the twist at the end. You've done a wonderful job.
7/12/2006 c1 NejikeruAme
Wow i didn't expect that. I liked it. it mad me think strangely enough.Good Work! Keep Writing!
Wow i didn't expect that. I liked it. it mad me think strangely enough.Good Work! Keep Writing!
6/20/2006 c1 HR8fGG4Hh7LLHCC9Pvq2oFKb6k
Criticism first: I thought the scene in the doctor's office seemed a little stilted. It's an effective tool to clue in the reader, but it just seems as if there's so many stories that do this. The doctor's inner monologue made me do a double take a couple times, too, although I'm sure lines talking about Emile's musical voice are intended to evoke sympathy more than anything else.
Overall, very well-written, with believeable dialogue and a couple of pat on the back moments (the ladybugs-Skittles analogy springs to mind). Sounds very genuine, and filled with truisms. Men "pissing on women to mark their territory" - class.
I guessed the twist mid-way through, though I'm not sure what tipped me off. Probably the anti-depressants. I feel like there was room for even more of a twist, but it probably wouldn't fit into your framework the way you would want.
Keep up the good work.
Criticism first: I thought the scene in the doctor's office seemed a little stilted. It's an effective tool to clue in the reader, but it just seems as if there's so many stories that do this. The doctor's inner monologue made me do a double take a couple times, too, although I'm sure lines talking about Emile's musical voice are intended to evoke sympathy more than anything else.
Overall, very well-written, with believeable dialogue and a couple of pat on the back moments (the ladybugs-Skittles analogy springs to mind). Sounds very genuine, and filled with truisms. Men "pissing on women to mark their territory" - class.
I guessed the twist mid-way through, though I'm not sure what tipped me off. Probably the anti-depressants. I feel like there was room for even more of a twist, but it probably wouldn't fit into your framework the way you would want.
Keep up the good work.
3/16/2006 c1 12Lonely Forest
Wow.
Really interesting. It's written in an excellent style, very poetic and involving. I really enjoyed it, and the twist at the end was, as you said, sort of mind-bending.
It was a difficult read, what with the jumping back and forth between perspectives, but I think that only added to the fun. Great job!
12Lonely ForestWow.
Really interesting. It's written in an excellent style, very poetic and involving. I really enjoyed it, and the twist at the end was, as you said, sort of mind-bending.
It was a difficult read, what with the jumping back and forth between perspectives, but I think that only added to the fun. Great job!
3/9/2006 c1 55The Watched
Wow...that was fascinating. And I didn't see the twist coming, I really didn't...I'd thought the twist was going to be that she realised that actually she did love Audy...but that twist was so much better...
And I love your stream-of-consciousness style: it works perfectly with this story, giving it the disjointed effect it really needed to make it absolutely brilliant.
*adds to favourites*
55The WatchedWow...that was fascinating. And I didn't see the twist coming, I really didn't...I'd thought the twist was going to be that she realised that actually she did love Audy...but that twist was so much better...
And I love your stream-of-consciousness style: it works perfectly with this story, giving it the disjointed effect it really needed to make it absolutely brilliant.
*adds to favourites*
2/15/2006 c1 98Arcane Hero
I could have sworn I reviewed this like a year ago...unless it got deleted..my poor review. anyways, this is one of the most wonderful stories I've ever read. its so hilarious, and sad, and...amaizing. Beautiful.
98Arcane HeroI could have sworn I reviewed this like a year ago...unless it got deleted..my poor review. anyways, this is one of the most wonderful stories I've ever read. its so hilarious, and sad, and...amaizing. Beautiful.
1/1/2006 c1 10notACTUALLYwriting
This. Is. Beautiful. Beautiful, I say. Maybe I'm easily moved to anger or ecstasy...but it's beautiful...you, whoever you are, are beautiful.
10notACTUALLYwritingThis. Is. Beautiful. Beautiful, I say. Maybe I'm easily moved to anger or ecstasy...but it's beautiful...you, whoever you are, are beautiful.
10/5/2005 c1 ronwrites
This actually reminded me of a mix of Sylvia Plath-Virginia Woolf-Michael Cunningham.
And I loved the part where Emile had some thoughts about swearing while she was with Audy at the restaurant. I think it makes for a birlliant image of how Emile grappled with her self-image.
This actually reminded me of a mix of Sylvia Plath-Virginia Woolf-Michael Cunningham.
And I loved the part where Emile had some thoughts about swearing while she was with Audy at the restaurant. I think it makes for a birlliant image of how Emile grappled with her self-image.