for The Avatar6/13/2005 c1 
4Isa Koliki
Sad... and yet somehow uplifting. Quite a touching piece of writing, and well written. You used lots of descriptive details, and I liked the end. An Avatar seemed a strange choice of word for the elite warriors, but I think it worked because it was unusual.
Well done!
~Isa Koliki~
4Isa KolikiSad... and yet somehow uplifting. Quite a touching piece of writing, and well written. You used lots of descriptive details, and I liked the end. An Avatar seemed a strange choice of word for the elite warriors, but I think it worked because it was unusual.
Well done!
~Isa Koliki~
12/12/2004 c1 14biminator
hm. didn't notice this one, john. anyway, nice job. the converstaion was well-written, and I liked the feeling of despair, if only because it was communicated beautifully. nice job.
14biminatorhm. didn't notice this one, john. anyway, nice job. the converstaion was well-written, and I liked the feeling of despair, if only because it was communicated beautifully. nice job.
12/6/2004 c1 8gangster-dolly
In the third sentence, you said 'working weapons'. I though maybe something like 'functioning weapons' would work better.
Overal I was extremely impressed. It was neither too long nor was it too short.
Well done.
8gangster-dollyIn the third sentence, you said 'working weapons'. I though maybe something like 'functioning weapons' would work better.
Overal I was extremely impressed. It was neither too long nor was it too short.
Well done.