Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for In Flames

1/7/2005 c1 3mike albanese
MIKE! Dude that kiked ass seriously like i mean " no joke". i loved the apocalapse referance, and how you didn't even curb your tongue for a formal piece of writing. it seriously kicks ass and i have just 2 more things to say, thatwas crazy awesome, worthy of pedro himself, don't stop writing dude, and um... steven boyle steven boyle steven boyle mom.

hahahahahahahahahahhahaJames Kirkpatrick
12/10/2004 c1 1JD Kennedy
Now this is really good. I don't know if you meant it or not but there's quite a few examples of alliteration which really catch the eye. For example: 'Will waited, waited for a familiar face.'It's very morbid in parts too: 'Will’s nose began to run at the thought of his mother’s dried, pale corpse persevered only by the soil which the Beast threw upon her to conceal her.'Also very poetic in places: 'The attic gave contradicting warmth for a place so cold and dark that Will embraced.'And the last line is a pleaser all right: 'Amongst the blue and red fluorescent lights that gushed in through the windows, he danced.'One problem: Why is Will hiding in the locker? I do suppose that you'll be carrying this on too? I'm looking forward to more.~ JD

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service