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9/16/2008 c1 18DarkRose1593
This poem is beautiful. It truly illustrates life and is so deep.
9/12/2008 c1 10Justin Vengeance
I enjoy reading your things. I'm going to start on your book I see soon.

I think in this one, since everything is capitalized that you should use commas but I don't think its essential for it to be effective (because it is), just part of my horrible ocd, haha.
9/10/2008 c1 May Elizabeth
Another wonderful poem. Your sister is very talented writer. :D Peace.
10/6/2007 c1 half-sketched.staccatos
konban wa

Demoralizing, I must say. But the imagery was fantastic. May I ask why YOU are posting your sister's piece and not your sister herself? Or is that a question too personal? If I'm prying, feel free to virtually slap my across the face. *grin* I'm used to it, LoL.

Zaijen

-Shan-
10/3/2007 c1 30life on rewind
Oh, I love this! I love the meaning behind it ... your little sister must be a brilliant poet!

Punctuation. It expresses places where you want the reader to pause and helps with flow and metre. If you dislike using punctuation, I respect that, but if you’re open to comments then maybe you should consider this one!

Maybe you could format the poem into stanzas and remove the double spacing? It's a bit long otherwise, and reading it gets tedious.

Thank you for posting this! Maybe you wouldn’t mind checking out a few of my writings too if you feel like it and liked the review? If you do, I recommend my rants. I hope the concrit helped!

Sakura.

[Yes, I copy/paste most of my reviews. So sue me. The concrit changes per review, and you get tips, right? Win/win situation. End of.]
9/29/2007 c1 45sarasoldaccount
love it ;)

srz
9/28/2007 c1 613DiaRose
Very nice imagery, and symbolism!

Love,

~Dia
9/15/2007 c1 21Heroh
People may say that this poem is cliche but whatever I thought this poem was beautiful :) I loved the way she ended the poem. Good Job
9/15/2007 c1 332smile for the sunshine
I kinda like this. It's rather pretty. The perspective was nice.
5/3/2006 c1 35wildcard07
true, true. i love the flow of it.:)
8/6/2005 c1 daphnegray78
Hey! ^_^ Out of curiousity, what happened to "If My Love Could be Dissolved?" I received the Author Alert and finally went to R&R it, when it said the story was not found. *shrugs* I was just wondering what happened. Anyhoo, I'll talk to you later. Have fun. ;)

~Daphne~
8/2/2005 c1 24Moonjava
That is so lovely. I like it.
7/19/2005 c1 Ellette Alphard
I liked it. It's a beautiful poem.
7/8/2005 c1 47J.Dem
This poem describes life rather well, I ussually compare life to football or hockey but im jock so hey what else is there, but comparing to a rose is very new to me and well done btw. Please R&R
7/2/2005 c1 80The Magician Joseph
Your sister really outdid herself, this is a really good poem, nice and short, but thought provoking.Nice job

Joseph
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