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for the sky messy with stars

7/5/2007 c1 30Jen H.M
Wow. I envy your ability to create art with words. I also love the title. I've never thought of the sky as being "messy with stars," but when I think about it, sometimes it is.
7/7/2005 c1 3The Proxy Ninja
You have those stylized brackets like this other girl that I just read from, Death's Girlfriend. Actually, I found you through her favorite author's list. I'm not fond of ambiguity, unless it's a controlled kind of ambiguity. And imagery always soothes me. But when I'm presented with too many possibilities, I become disconnected from the author. What's strange, is that, even when we're not consciously aware of it, we're trying to connect to the author and what he or she thinks, and when people don't find this clear, most of the time, they dub their pieces as, "bad stories". Though, this isn't necessarily true. Even then, your objective with writing usually should be to get a straight message across, or to tell a thoughtful story. This- though it evoked images, had no central heart to keep it interesting and powerful. If I were to have to summarize this, I would say that,the guy is yelling out a window, then the girl yells back. The guy then approaches her apartment via her fire escape or her apartment stairs or SOMETHING at midnight, and all the buildings are towering over him like dragons. Or, this is what she had been meaning for him to do. And, I'm at a loss to even what to -begin- making up about the last part. I'm not the deepest person in the world, nor the shallowest. Nor am I the sharpest or the dullest. If my image was very, very off, this means something. The language would have disarmed me, it's written nicely. As to what it means, that's a whole different story.
3/13/2005 c1 AVIGON
Escapist is right. The title's gorgeous. So is part 2 by the way. Part 1 is also good, but it seems a bit too much, you know? Too many words?
12/21/2004 c1 84Escapist
The title and the title line in the poem is just... euphoria? I almost didn't want to read the poem because I loved the title so much, if that makes sense.

Beautiful. It's becoming rare that I find a poem where not one line is wasted.

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