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10/19/2005 c5 13gabriellafaith
This is really good! Keep writing-please!

gabriellafaith

p.s. Do you think you could rr my story The Arena? Thanks!
12/16/2004 c1 81Ultimate Schuyler
^_^ And a healthy hello to you too! No, I am not Japanese, although someday I really do hope to go there. I've just done extensive studies of the language... almost for one whole year now. (It'll be one year on Christmas.) My father went there briefly and bought me a newspaper and a magazine. I have fun trying to decipher them.

The striking factor that I immediately noticed about this piece was the lack of true description about Tabby in the prologue. It would've been cooler if you didn't say that Tabby was Jack's imaginary friend, and had included it as a sort of shock, for people to try to figure out as they read the first chapter. In fact, if the prologue wasn't there at all, this would've been a much more effective chapter. Also one typo:

"You... know, well people call you...names beacuse you...talk to thin air? Jack nodded, mouth open slightly agape.

You forgot the closing quotations... also, you could've left out the the word "open", but that's just a personal preference of diction. Eh... This was great! I'm really looking forward to reading more of it! Hope ta hear from ya again soon, T.U.S.
12/16/2004 c3 lizz
this chapter is good it relates back to chapter one i think that this is the best chapter yet
12/16/2004 c2 lizz
This chapter two startled me because the first chapter was calm and now this chapter starled me and to be honest kind of scared me. it was a really good chapter it had lots of detail like what perfesional writers would write and i think that this person will become a really really good writer when she is oler or even now if she wanted to. go you and she is my best friend i wish her well i think she will sucsedd sorry about the spelling mistakes!
12/16/2004 c1 liz
This story was a brillient story it made you feel what jack was feeling. it was the first story that person had wrote and for a first story that was very impressive it was very moving it made you think wat the next chapter would be like or how it would end so it was making you read on so you would find out what happened to jack. whether he would become popular or his invisable friend cat would come back!

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