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for Mavela Spell the black sorceress

4/6/2005 c11 Battle of Words
Kewl chapter.I liked it alot! Lol... I put that link up to this story on my links page. I can't say that will give you more readers, but I tried! lol... Well I have to go! ~The Earth Mystic
4/2/2005 c7 A. Taylor
Hey! Yes, I'm still alive. x_x Sorry I haven't reviewed in such a long time! I had to re-skim over the story, since I'm forgetful. -_- Things have been stressful, so I didn't have the chance to read it. But I'm finally reviewing again! I like how this chapter came along, and I look forward to reading the other chapters you have made. Sorry again. I'll review the next quite soon.
3/19/2005 c10 Battle of Words
The chapter was good. It is ok if you feel it did not have a lot of action. I am sure some will come latter on. I hope I am not the only person readding this. That is becouse I think it is good. I will try to remmember to like to it on the next update of my webpage, and all. See if I can get some more readers... Keep up the great work! It is not what others think, but what you think. ~The Earth Mystic
2/19/2005 c9 Battle of Words
Oh my... Alot has gone on in this chapter. Her dad being "food-poisoned" and now dead, her being "presumed dead", the beasts, and more... Wow...Please update soon! I can not wait to see what will go on next! ~The Earth Mystic
1/31/2005 c6 A. Taylor
I was slightly confused at the beginning of this chapter, since the point of view had changed. -_-;; It took me a moment to notice the difference. I was tired at the time, okay? Anyway, I like how this chapter turned out. I really can't think of anything downright negative to say about the story so far. It holds my interest, and that alone is a difficult thing to do. Can't wait to read the next... soon... I know how slow I am.
1/28/2005 c8 Battle of Words
Hm... I wonder what made her spell do that and all. I love the story so far! Keep up the great work! I hope you don't have writers block with the next chapter. ~The Earth Mystic
1/25/2005 c5 A. Taylor
Heya. That was an interesting chapter. Too bad for Mavela... she doesn't seem to be having a very good day. ^^;; I can find no problems gramatically, or anything. Good chapter. I'll read the next chapter soon!
1/21/2005 c7 Battle of Words
Lol... The chapter was a messed with me a little at first. I guss it is from reading it so early in the morn. I got what was going on once I got a little deeper into the chapter so it was ok. The ending was interesting. Showing the diffrences between what Mav is use to and what she is faceing now. I would be verry parinoid if something like that happend to me. Thinking the world was after me to kill me or something. lol...

Well, I have to go to walk my puppy, get on my make-up, and get going to my 2hour long class for today... Good thing it is a computer class, or I would go batty. ~The Earth Mystic
1/17/2005 c6 Battle of Words
Wow... I have to say that was kewl. I wonder what kind of school it is. Please kewl up your wonderful writeing! ~The Earth Mystic
1/17/2005 c4 A. Taylor
Found the time to read through the next chapter. I like this one. My favourite thing about the narrator so far is how blatently sarcastic she is. It's funny to me. The end of this one is a little depresing. Oh. Wonder where Mavela's going to go next? I know how sarcastic I sound, but I really am interested. I'll review your next chapter soon. Don't have quite enough time to cram another in. Computer time is limited. x-x
1/17/2005 c6 67secluded existence
hey! ooh, i love how these chapters are coming so fast! you are sweet lol. and its getting so interesting!

but i did find that in the beginning of the chapter, i was a bit confused about what was happening. i think that it was a good idea to change point of views there to give the reader a view of the enemy, but perhaps you could describe it more. im not really sure... its just i was confused at first on what wsa going on and who we were seeing everything through...

also, you kind of switch back to Mavela's point of view rather abruptly. its just like mabrid is thinking and speaking, and suddenly we're seeing things through mavelas view again... you could try to have a more definite point of switching... if that makes sense

also there were a few typos:

Again she fell to attention as Mavela asked the question again: “can I live with you?”-capitilize Can

Proffesor.S.Teelim. read a sign on the door before him.Proffesor Steven Teelim looked up from the student that sat before him.-Professor is spelled wrong in both these sentences

thats really all i could find i think. and so sorry for being so like... i dont know, i guess picky. i just want to give a thorough criticism if thats what u call it. but other than these mistakes, great job! youre really developing the plot well! its awesome! i guess arion isnt evil, mwhaha! i think everyone is evil. lol. ooh cant wait for the next chapter! p.s. you dont have school now! not fair! lol, i want to be on vacation!
1/16/2005 c5 secluded existence
hey... cool chapter!

well... i was reading yur profile, and as for the name of the story, i like the black sorceress better. however, the black sorceress kind of sounds like mavela is evil, and if that wont really fit the story, then i like mavella spell. lol, i hope you undertstoof that. what i basically mean is that i like the black sorceress, but only if it fits.

so, onto the chapter... good job! lol, you are writing this so fast! you must have alotta free time! but its really good for being written so quick! hey, i did find some typos this time, nothiing major, just a few missing periods and stuff, so here they are,:

“Come on Rasso’ he mutters coldly as he another bolt escapes from his hand.- should be another " instead of '

I’m actually beginning to believe these fables of his. I look at him in surprise

“And the fire bolts?” I quiz-you're just missing periods at the end of both these sentences

The broom thrashes slightly, as if it’s loosing control. - should be losing

and thats all i could find. good job! such a cliffhanger! what will happen to her? and this arion guy, i dont really trust him. he seems secretly evil, lol. i bet hes gonna take her to his secret lair! please write more! happy writing!
1/16/2005 c3 A. Taylor
Ack! I'm falling behind in reviewing! I just checked the story today and you had, like, three more chapters! You're a faster writer than I am. x_X As of now, I have an extreme case of writer's block.Anyways, I like the way this story is going. Another thing I like about it is the chapters are to long so it doesn't take me quite as long. I like the name Mavela... hm... Mavela. I should be talking about the chapter; how to make it better and whatnot. But... gee, I dunno. I thought it was well done. I'll read the next installment as soon as I can! Keep up the good work!
1/15/2005 c5 Battle of Words
Wow... I have to say that there seems to be a lot going on that she dues not know about. I am guessing that her aunt was not a witch or anything, and that was why she did not know about the bird being a spy. Or was it just that she was to crazy, or that she just could not tell? This turn of events are makeing me wonder if her mother is evil or not or what ever... hm... I guess I will just have to wait and find out! lol! Keep up the great work! ~The Earth Mystic
1/13/2005 c2 Laura
cool, who is that guy. i'm glad this story is nothing like Harry Potter, i don't like the books. i like the theme though.
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