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10/21/2007 c1 luv me like no other
hahaa, i love the ending, the surprise made it very good.
6/18/2006 c1 31bjw
OH MY. How could she?Poor narrator. I'm guessing Nat murdered the other man too? But how did she do it while she was dancing with the narrator the whole time? *scratches head*

Well, she sure is spooky.

One grammatical error:"As a guy I’m not usually fussed about how I look" It should be "I don't usally fuss about how I look" or "I'm not usually fussy about how I look"... I don't think "fussed" can be used in that way. You think?

Oh, and I thought "The right end of the room lived in darkness." was a little weird..how about "the right end of the room was...in darkness"? [...being swamped or cloaked or shrouded or something like that]

This story's really quite good, I was totally caught by surprise at the end. Very nice development.:) It toally gives a whole new meaning to "murder on the dance floor"! And yeah I really liked your usage of that phrase. It drew me in hehe.

Great job, keep writing!
4/26/2005 c1 16amethystdawn

Review: Very good writing, i mean, I can't spot any grammar problems. I like the suspense. Interesting plot and all... but one question: How can anyone not see the bleeding guy? or at least whack into him and go: Are you ok? or swear at him or something. He's in the middle of a crowded dance floor! It's nearly impossible to NOT be whacked. Other than that, everything's a-okay. Oh and another thing, you didn't mention any motive for little Nat to kill her boyfriend and nameless guy. Unless you plan to update and not leave this as a short thriller story, then it's quite incomplete. Other than that, everything's peachy. ^_^

PS: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you like Seelly Leetle Poem. ^_^
2/2/2005 c1 noroomforspace
Wow, normally horror stories bore me, but that one just pulled me right in. It would make a lovely series, I'd definantly buy it if it was a book. Keep writing!
1/2/2005 c1 6Green Beret
nice one michael as usual, catchy summary note there - 'its murder on the dance floor...'.

love the tension building up there, with you seeing the guy and then him dying. and the cryptic one liners.

blood.almost.here goes...

very good, you are starting to earn the title - 'MICHAEL THE PROLIFIC'.how would that look on your cv?
1/2/2005 c1 9dragonfire-lina144
Michael the Writer strikes again! Awesome story, as per usual. Nice cliffe at the end there. Great stuff, keep it up!

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