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for A Dark Obsession

6/5/2012 c1 carleyshake
aweosme story!3
5/7/2012 c19 3xKatieDx
Wow, I'm in love with this story. It's so amazing, the character development, the locations. Each chapter is amazing in its own right and unforgettable. Each portrayal of the goths is realistic and so captivating to read. The church and the asylum were both outstandingly created that you could picture them both perfectly. Seriously amazing author. Definitely one of my favourite stories on fiction press. xox-Katie
2/5/2012 c19 dstarlight
I’m glad I came across this today. I just popped on fictionpress to check if there was anything I’d like to read and stumbled on this. It gripped me from the get go! The Goth scene added an aspect I wasn’t sure I was going to like, but it turned out I did, in fact I liked it a lot! Every character was well thought out and unique, I loved the diversity you gave each one of them. Their personalities were engaging and their own little stories interesting. Buzz and Boston were probably my favourites outside Bishop and Anna of course.

It was nice to see how strong Anna was, you gave her enough vulnerably that she was relatable but in no way did she appear weak. I was unsure of Bishop at first, but he completely won me over as the chapters progressed. I just wanted to give that boy a hug! You also kept me intrigued by the Bishop and Render storyline. I was quite surprised with the outcome though, I suspected they may have been related but definitely not in the way they were. Also, I was a bit taken back with how easy things were settled between them. The last chapter did seem a little rushed, and I was sorry to learn that it was over. I'll be honest and say certain parts felt unfinished to me. I would have loved to of seen more of Bishop and Anna’s relationship, but they said I love you so I can‘t complain. Overall, I truly enjoyed reading this! Thank you for making a few hours go by so quickly.

Dawnx
8/26/2011 c19 spUNkyORanGE
I have to say I enjoyed this story. It was a bit cliche but who doesnt love a good cliche.

I really liked the character Anna. She seemed a little immature but I liked how she grew up knowing what she wanted and she didnt care who got in her way.

I dont think I ever liked King. Even in the end. He just wasnt a very likable character. Making her pay him 5 bucks to leaver her alone. That was kind of dumb.

I didnt know what to think about Bishop until the end. I think his whole story was really rushed. Maybe the whole ending was. From your A/N's it seems like you were just busy with life and you just wanted to get this story out there and over with and it shows. I believe if you spent some time rereading it and going over it again, I think you could make this into a really great story. Right now I think it's just ok.

I like how it was all in Anna's POV. I liked how you could really know what she was thinking. She did seem quite young and like I said immature. But you could tell that she grew up a lot by the end.

The only part I was really irritated by was the very very end. I waited the WHOLE story to get Anna and Bishop together and we a measly little paragraph about them kissing. That's it? A little dissapointing but overall it was a good story. :)
8/6/2011 c19 frousTL
I really don't know what to say about this story. I think I've read it about a dozen times over the years and it still never gets old. Anna is quirky, funny, passionate, and a little crazy over her obsession with Bishop when they didn't even know each other. Her passion and love for those she cares about is what makes her such of an awesome character and balanced partner for Bishop. His protectiveness and weariness of new people is endearing and completely understandable, once we find out about his personal life. The way you write has just the right amount of suspense, interest, humor and a sense of adventure with a tad of romance. I actually wouldn't really count this to be much of a romance story but more of a development of a close friendship that turned to more. (I would actually prefer more Bishop/Anna interaction, but the amount you had in it allowed the flow of the story to proceed smoothly). I absolutely LOVE Buzz's character! The scene when he took Anna to his house was hilarious and brought a nice lighter feeling to the story. The light-heartedness of his character broke apart the tension of the Bishop-Render relationship. My one (very minor) critique is more of a structural critique. It would be nice if you simply put in some indication of a scene change between Boston's story and the "Bishop, I love you" lines. There isn't a real transition from sympathizing with Boston to Anna trying to tell Bishop how she feels. Otherwise, GREAT story! I only wish there was a longer epilogue because, like it says in the story, I read this to learn more about Anna and Bishop :) Thanks for sharing this story! 3
7/23/2011 c19 Queen Midnight
Fantastic story! A bit rushed I think, but that could be changed by adding more events leading up to a big event or adding more detail. However, overall, the story was great! And I loved that Bishop and Anna got together and King and her became somewhat friends in the end. Awesome job!
7/12/2011 c19 AlanisBRAVO
I Loved This Story! & Im Glad That Bishop Loved Anna In return. :) Your A Great Writier BTW!
7/2/2011 c1 9Corinna Tate
Okay, I know you finished with this a few years back, and a review hitting your email just might shock you. But I'm trying to keep a policy of reviewing whatever I read unless it's too horrible to inflate the reviews, even for negative criticism.

Yours isn't like that, happy to say. In fact the prologue seems well written, if a little disjointed. One thing I do like is that you've got some decent characters here, and they're not just caricatures. I'm interested in seeing if Anna's parents will remain an influential part of her life as this story moves forward.

Yeah, I'm a parent of teenagers, so to be honest I just can't read stories where the parents are forgotten or where they're portrayed as the evil, stifling, antagonists. When Moms and Dads get kicked to the curb because they don't want to see their children ink, scar, pierce, or drug themselves, I get irritated.

And owing to my age, the whole goth thing kinda goes over my head and under my feet. Not that I have anything against the look, but the whole creation of a label just so disenfranchised teens can find something easy to identify with - seems kind of silly to me. Sort of like saying 'I want to be different - just like everybody else!'

Anytime you use a label to set up an expectation of a certain type of behavior - it just feels like cheating to me. This world is full of people who want to label you, so they can put you in a box and dismiss your individuality. I don't know why anyone would sign up for that.

Wow, that's a lot of rant for one little chapter. I guess I ran into the same kind of labeling in an early writing class way back when, only the guy I had to review used "skinhead" as his chosen label, and expected his readers to just know his character by the label alone.

It's too early to accuse you of such a thing, it's just my preliminary misgiving. I'm interested in continuing to read, but I'll admit I have a low tolerance for overblown teen angst.

Overall, good job on the first chapter. Your grammar isn't bad, and there was nothing that tripped me up and made me scratch my head in confusion. I also love that the profanity is mild. I like that your main character is smart and she has a strong voice. I love writing in first person myself, and you're doing a good job of letting us see what's behind her eyes.

Going forward, I hope to see what drives her obsession with goths, since truly until you get to know someone, it's only a certain look. Is it that they stand out? Is it that they seem dangerous or socially unacceptable? Is it to defy her parents? There's really got to be a reason for the attraction.
7/2/2011 c19 8There's-A-Star-In-My-Hand
this is such a great storyy :)

thankyou for writing it

i loved it ;D
6/20/2011 c19 3Cindy Marie
LOVED IT!:D
5/29/2011 c15 AsianPearl101
This storu is imsamely good!2 you're an amazing writeer :) the plott twists, the humorr, the romance i mean i lpve it all! Also, what do you habe to do tto have 4,5, however many, guys fall dor you AND be completely oblivoois... oj well i like it :) on to the nex one

Good joob!
5/24/2011 c19 8Justine Selene
Just...wow! I read this whole story and stayed up all night on a school night to finish it! It's just so realistic, and the characters...they're so human! With imperfections, love, adn human emotions. This is such a real story and I enjoyed it so much. Buzz was one of my favorite characters, and even though King was a bit...intense, he was also one of my favs!

You are such an amazing writer and I applaude you for sticking with this story for so long! Such a lovely story that I will never forget!
4/14/2011 c19 Brown-Eyed Chocoholic
I love this story. Amazing.

I haven't reviewed the past several chapters since I was totally focused on the story, and, yeah, I thought that reviewing would just totally jumble my mind. Weird, ol' me.

Bishop and Anna are destined for each other. They cared a lot about each other. And they're one of the best (fictional) couples I've ever known.

I was so freaking shocked when I found out that Render was Bishop's dad. Mindfuck. I did NOT expect that.

Boston is... imperfect. But I like him. Cheers for the insane guy!

King is also awesome even though he still drowns himself in drugs. Which sucks. Happy to know he ended up with a good girl (although she is prettay young).

Buzz is gay? Meh... I should've known.

This story's unforgettable. :) If I ever write one, I hope it's going to be as awesome (or even more, trololol) as this.
4/14/2011 c11 Brown-Eyed Chocoholic
King... what the fuck is up with him? :O

Gah, Bishop is so freaking sweet. I love him. Teehee.
4/14/2011 c10 Brown-Eyed Chocoholic
Wow. Render is incredible. He's awesome, friendly, and owns a club. What an interesting guy, hm. Plus, he remembers Anna. ;)

Boston's shocking. xD
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