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6/8/2006 c1 12Kurt Wagner
this is beautiful, it flows nicely without seeming forced.

Just one thing, in the beginning, it would sound so much cooler of you said "a stroke of luck, or a twist of fate" rather than "a chance of luck, or a twist of fate".

Just a suggestion, otherwise well done :)
1/3/2005 c1 11whitefaith
Simple eloquence is what makes your poem work so well. Great use of description and poetic rhythm to tell such a moving story.
1/3/2005 c1 62Camman
How terribly sad. Very good description and good emotion. Heart-clencher when you describe the shooting. I like it, great feeling all the way.

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