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10/20/2005 c1 29Katterree Fengari
...so, who Do you like?

sorry, that is some horrible typing...and an interesting last line...I also like the shorter lines of "i have a disease" and "god"
5/30/2005 c1 12starflames
That was pretty good. some spurts of randomness in there sure, but good. I like the format, with it being like an e mail, it's different. thanks for reviewing me, even if it was only to tell me you weren't arrogant. I do however, think you were kinda harsh on pointythings and otterpaws, but thats just me. anyway a cool poem thingy~starflames
5/26/2005 c1 32pointythings
Hello, it's me again. Just here to apologize for my other reviews. I meant the things I said, but I should have said them in a nicer way. It just pushes all my buttons when people assume that everyone will love their work. Anyway, I shouldn't have been so snappy.

This has an interesting format...I agree with my sister that the emailese is fine, but I still have an aversion to spelling and grammar errors. Even if they're intentional, I don't really see the point. It makes people think you are either stupid or careless or both. It works in some cases, but you should use it sparingly.

This isn't so much a poem as a stream of consciousness. I mean, that's cool, but you shouldn't call it a poem. It has no rhythm and the concepts sort of go all over the place. And once again, it would be a lot less confusing if you put words in the right order and used more commas.

Anyway, keep writing!
5/26/2005 c1 30Weeba
Hello. First, thank you for reviewing my poem, although I'm not sure you interpreted it the way it was meant to be interpreted, but to each his own I guess.

Second, I read the reviews my sister (pointythings) sent you, and the ones you sent her. I'll allow that my sister was a little harsh, but she did tell you that you had potential, and I agree with her on most of her points. Including the part where she said you have potential. You do. This poem-email type thing is good; for once, the "u" and "i" are acceptable because it's an e-mail. However, the typos and spelling errors are not. I'm dubious about your claimed belief that spelling errors are interesting and should be done on purpose; frankly, I think you're just taking refuge behind some new-age, weird idea because you screwed up and didn't edit your work properly. If you really do believe that, I have news for you: it's not just the grade-school teachers in training (which by the way is a great new insult, never heard that one before); spelling errors and badly edited work irritate anyone who is educated enough to understand your work. Which is allusion-clogged. I agree with you that these authors are to be revered and acclaimed; but you can't spit out their ideas and (in some cases) their wording, and call it your own. Not even if you're paying them homage. It just doesn't work that way.

My sister is far too modest to respond directly to your reviews, so I'll do it for her: her poetry is some of the best I've ever read by someone our age. She is eloquent, original, intelligent, and thoughtful; her poetry is thought-provoking and heartfelt. The fact that you can't put out the effort to think about what she's saying is your problem. Or, alternatively, the fact that you can understand it perfectly and may even like it, but are covering up for your own confusion of stolen ideas and drivel with the occasional great line.

You have a talent. If you can cultivate it and refine it so that your poetry is understandable, you can go far. My sister and I haven't reached our full potential yet either. No one our age has. You can't just say that your poetry is moving and spectacular without having been told that; it is arrogant, and it makes people look for reasons to shoot you down. You'll get better reviews if you have some humility.

I'm done now. Good poem. Write more like this one, and you could get somewhere.

5/25/2005 c1 37Diane Lynn
This was exceedingly random and there were a lot of spelling errors. There is one in your bio that you should take a look at as well. I believe that people "write poetry," not "right poetry." I find it very disturbing that you keep talking about these girls as "stupid." There is no such thing as a stupid person. People are intelligent, they just do stupid things.

Also, I find it intersting that you would leave such a long review criticizing someone's beliefs or thoughts and yet have no email address for them to respond back. I am going to take this moment to personally inform you that I am well aware of the difference in pay that I will be recieving in the next two years when I graduate from medical school. In fact, I believe that the current figure is about 30% less than my male counterparts. But at least here, I can be a doctor, as opposed to other countries where women are meant to me nothing more than mere housewives. I am perfectly well aware that anyone can be a hero, in fact I just might be one someday. Are children going to dream about being me? No, probably not. I am no Jessica Simpson or Brittany Spears. And that's okay. I love, respect, and appreciate my father, the store manager at Firestone, and my grandfather, the steelworker. But the fact of the matter is, I or they won't be showing up to work everyday with the chance of getting our heads blown off like our police officers and service men and women.

I would like to give you one piece of advice: "Don't assume anything." You never know who you are talking to. Also, this country isn't perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect country. All countries have their problems, some worse than others. But what YOU need to learn to do is appreciate what YOU do have!

If you would like to further this conversation, please feel free to email me at . I do not intend to create a war through reviews.
4/20/2005 c1 55RecycledAir
Wo! I love poems that have no real structure. What I mean is structure like couplets, etc, etc. Freeverse is brilliant.

Feel free to send me an E-mail.
2/1/2005 c1 53sarcastic-student
That was incredibly funny, and yet at the same time kind of deep. I love free verse style (mostly because I myself suck at it). Very honest and real.
1/16/2005 c1 24Bernard Marx
DAMN I love stream of conciousness writing! It's like a little snapshot of the fluttering jittering synapses inside your brain. I love how the focus never quite seems to stay put. Nice... real nice. Thanks for the r/r btw.
1/16/2005 c1 deafgurl88
Interesting free verse. I feel though that it goes a little side-tracked or something. First it's about the weekend thing, then into speaker wanting to seize the day more, then girls are stupid, then life after death stuff and then finally back to girl and if she's seizing the day. Very good topics, but the transitions from one to another were kind of weird. Anyway chow!

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