for Nittany Fall4/26/2005 c1 
13Menolly
Compelling storyline; wish I'd come up with it myself. Some of the best stuff from a technical standpoint I've read on this site. (Slight sentence error near the beginning, though. I think you tried to change a sentence and left an old section in.)
13MenollyCompelling storyline; wish I'd come up with it myself. Some of the best stuff from a technical standpoint I've read on this site. (Slight sentence error near the beginning, though. I think you tried to change a sentence and left an old section in.)
2/20/2005 c1 6iglooey
Amazing story. I love your interesting plot and good descriptions.
There are some parts that I don't quite understand. Like: "Underguns have to go trigger-happy today? Why can’t ever it happen on that b-stard’ Stan’s watch?” I have no clue what that means. Maybe give some explanations and don't just expect the reader to comprehend.
Great job and update soon.
6iglooeyAmazing story. I love your interesting plot and good descriptions.
There are some parts that I don't quite understand. Like: "Underguns have to go trigger-happy today? Why can’t ever it happen on that b-stard’ Stan’s watch?” I have no clue what that means. Maybe give some explanations and don't just expect the reader to comprehend.
Great job and update soon.
1/24/2005 c1 laybycougar
wow. firstly: amazingly original. I did have a bit of a "what-the" moment with your terminology for a sec- until I saw the footnotes down the bottom. Excellent work- I loved the direct bluntness of the consul. Makes me really wonder what's gonna happen next. Please update soon! and thanks for the review for Pirate rogue- sorry it took me forever to review back!
wow. firstly: amazingly original. I did have a bit of a "what-the" moment with your terminology for a sec- until I saw the footnotes down the bottom. Excellent work- I loved the direct bluntness of the consul. Makes me really wonder what's gonna happen next. Please update soon! and thanks for the review for Pirate rogue- sorry it took me forever to review back!
1/18/2005 c1 22Loki Mischeif-Maker
And Loki gets to be reviewer number one! (big grin). Okay, now onto the actual review:
Woah - good, good, very good. I like the writing style, very discriptive; I can tell exactly what's going on. The whole premise is great, I'm curious to see what's going to happen (starting with prophecies can be tricky - hope you manage to pull it off). Grammatically, a few places where a quote isn't started with a capital letter, but nothing big.
That said, this looks like the start to an excellent story. Update soon!
Cheers!
22Loki Mischeif-MakerAnd Loki gets to be reviewer number one! (big grin). Okay, now onto the actual review:
Woah - good, good, very good. I like the writing style, very discriptive; I can tell exactly what's going on. The whole premise is great, I'm curious to see what's going to happen (starting with prophecies can be tricky - hope you manage to pull it off). Grammatically, a few places where a quote isn't started with a capital letter, but nothing big.
That said, this looks like the start to an excellent story. Update soon!
Cheers!