for Leave me7/13/2005 c1 
2Celebuial
Wow. that was very good. i almost wanted to cry, the writing was very descriptive of the feeling. Good job :D
2CelebuialWow. that was very good. i almost wanted to cry, the writing was very descriptive of the feeling. Good job :D
5/26/2005 c1 88Icthoid Matro Coselos
wow... exquisit rhyming. (one thing i'll point out, you spelled choked wrong... it's as i said. I pointed it out, because i'd want you to do the same. It just simply lessens the greatness of you'r spectacular writing)
88Icthoid Matro Coseloswow... exquisit rhyming. (one thing i'll point out, you spelled choked wrong... it's as i said. I pointed it out, because i'd want you to do the same. It just simply lessens the greatness of you'r spectacular writing)
4/13/2005 c1 7gingerbeer
You did a wonderful job portraying strength and open emotion as the same entity: "My heart is weeping but you'll never see a tear." The repetition of leave me adds to the can-suffer-no-more tone of your poem.
7gingerbeerYou did a wonderful job portraying strength and open emotion as the same entity: "My heart is weeping but you'll never see a tear." The repetition of leave me adds to the can-suffer-no-more tone of your poem.
3/10/2005 c1 85grim-dreamer
I'm sorry it took me so long to read and review your poem. It's a very feeling poem, though it seems as if the stanzas are arranged in the wrong order? Should the first one be the penultimate instead? It will strengthen the ending, I think. And stanzas three and four seem to contradict one another, which, to me, disperses the effect you're trying to build? Maybe merge them together, or choose one that communicates feeling equivalent to both. The use of 'death's fate' sounds too ordinary for the profound emotion in this poem as well... Cheer up.
85grim-dreamerI'm sorry it took me so long to read and review your poem. It's a very feeling poem, though it seems as if the stanzas are arranged in the wrong order? Should the first one be the penultimate instead? It will strengthen the ending, I think. And stanzas three and four seem to contradict one another, which, to me, disperses the effect you're trying to build? Maybe merge them together, or choose one that communicates feeling equivalent to both. The use of 'death's fate' sounds too ordinary for the profound emotion in this poem as well... Cheer up.
2/21/2005 c1 219Matthew James Current
In all of your poems I have noticed a good solid balance of meaning and descriptions. You have a very good groundwork for becoming a great poet. You don't stray from the theme of the poem, your poems aren't filled with long descriptive words that don't tie in at all. Overall, you are a very strong beginning poet and I commend you on your work. My best advice for you would be this: never be afraid to experiment; go outside your comfort zone; try different styles; challenge yourself; and know that when you are being honest with yourself you and you alone are the best person to critique your work. Also don't be afraid to go to teachers or other poets and ask them for suggestions.
219Matthew James CurrentIn all of your poems I have noticed a good solid balance of meaning and descriptions. You have a very good groundwork for becoming a great poet. You don't stray from the theme of the poem, your poems aren't filled with long descriptive words that don't tie in at all. Overall, you are a very strong beginning poet and I commend you on your work. My best advice for you would be this: never be afraid to experiment; go outside your comfort zone; try different styles; challenge yourself; and know that when you are being honest with yourself you and you alone are the best person to critique your work. Also don't be afraid to go to teachers or other poets and ask them for suggestions.
2/21/2005 c1 55sweetcatastr0phe
very nice. the rhythm is sort of off in some places but that's okay because it still sounds really good and you manage to convey your feelings quite nicely. good job and thank you for your review. :)
55sweetcatastr0phevery nice. the rhythm is sort of off in some places but that's okay because it still sounds really good and you manage to convey your feelings quite nicely. good job and thank you for your review. :)
2/18/2005 c1 57Kali Aja
I really like this poem and I can totally relate. Nice ryme scheem to . . . I can never seem to work one out for my own stuf . . . v.v
57Kali AjaI really like this poem and I can totally relate. Nice ryme scheem to . . . I can never seem to work one out for my own stuf . . . v.v
2/17/2005 c1 17incandescent.smiles
first this was terrific! really liked it, it's going on my favorites (if i have any room). and thanks for reviewing. it means a LOT.
~leila*
17incandescent.smilesfirst this was terrific! really liked it, it's going on my favorites (if i have any room). and thanks for reviewing. it means a LOT.
~leila*
2/14/2005 c1 7The System Mother
I like the repetition. It gives it a more powerful flow.
Thanks for the review ^_^
7The System MotherI like the repetition. It gives it a more powerful flow.
Thanks for the review ^_^