for The Good and Bad of Love11/14/2005 c1 
23Teah Marie
I love the journal idea. There are a few typos that you may want to fix, but other thann that this is an excellant beginning to what I am hoping will be an excellant story. I'm loopy, Caryn.
23Teah MarieI love the journal idea. There are a few typos that you may want to fix, but other thann that this is an excellant beginning to what I am hoping will be an excellant story. I'm loopy, Caryn.
9/26/2005 c48 5lovesickangel
Hey guys, it's me. I so loved writing it. It took me so long, but it was damn well worth it and I hope that you guys enjoyed reading it. I think I read it over like 500 times. I have no idea, but once you read it so many times you know exactly what's going to happen next or you have a general idea. I made the story, the first draft and then I kept looking over it and made revision after revision until I thought it was good enough to put back up. There are paragraphs this time. I had forgotten to put them in the last time and I did this time. I really have to thank my reviewers who made the story and its' characters way better then the first version. I should've put this in, but i'm hoping you guys are reading my reviews. Thanks guys and I love you all for you help.
5lovesickangelHey guys, it's me. I so loved writing it. It took me so long, but it was damn well worth it and I hope that you guys enjoyed reading it. I think I read it over like 500 times. I have no idea, but once you read it so many times you know exactly what's going to happen next or you have a general idea. I made the story, the first draft and then I kept looking over it and made revision after revision until I thought it was good enough to put back up. There are paragraphs this time. I had forgotten to put them in the last time and I did this time. I really have to thank my reviewers who made the story and its' characters way better then the first version. I should've put this in, but i'm hoping you guys are reading my reviews. Thanks guys and I love you all for you help.
9/21/2005 c1 5luxian
good beginning! this story is pretty direct and to the point. Just consider a few breaks in the block of text as it feels as if we're pressured to read on and not allowed to take any breaks. Thanks for the review and I'll read more when I find the time
5luxiangood beginning! this story is pretty direct and to the point. Just consider a few breaks in the block of text as it feels as if we're pressured to read on and not allowed to take any breaks. Thanks for the review and I'll read more when I find the time
3/12/2005 c20 tuffchik
Hello. I have been trying to get into your story but I just can't. The subject has so much potential but instead of using it you are using blank one-sided characters. Okay, Marcus is a lovesick fool, okay Aimee is a pathetic wimp who will probably die, okay there are some other random people with no personalities, but honestly you could kill them off and no one would care. I also find it hard to believe that Marcus is based on an actual guy since I have never met a guy that acted this way and wasnt subjected to repeated beatings by his little sister. This makes the rest of the plot very difficult to sit through. And for god's sake fix your grammar and punctuation, it isn't that hard to type like an educated human.
Hello. I have been trying to get into your story but I just can't. The subject has so much potential but instead of using it you are using blank one-sided characters. Okay, Marcus is a lovesick fool, okay Aimee is a pathetic wimp who will probably die, okay there are some other random people with no personalities, but honestly you could kill them off and no one would care. I also find it hard to believe that Marcus is based on an actual guy since I have never met a guy that acted this way and wasnt subjected to repeated beatings by his little sister. This makes the rest of the plot very difficult to sit through. And for god's sake fix your grammar and punctuation, it isn't that hard to type like an educated human.
2/28/2005 c14 6Haley Dufresne
I basically skimmed the rest of your story. It's very hard to read with the lack of paragraph breaks and the tons of typos and spelling and grammatical errors. Besides, your storyline rambles a lot.
Good luck with the rest of it.
6Haley DufresneI basically skimmed the rest of your story. It's very hard to read with the lack of paragraph breaks and the tons of typos and spelling and grammatical errors. Besides, your storyline rambles a lot.
Good luck with the rest of it.
2/28/2005 c1 Haley Dufresne
The first problem I noticed with your story is that in the first sentence you say, "...ever since I was sent to therapy for commiting suicide..." which makes no sense. You need "attempting" in there somewhere, otherwise, it's senseless because the character would be dead, not in therapy.
Secondly, you could use a spelling and grammar check. I'd point out specific examples, but this review would be far too long. Maybe you should get someone to edit it for you.
Also, you should definitely break it into paragraphs. One block of text is entirely too hard on the eyes.
The first problem I noticed with your story is that in the first sentence you say, "...ever since I was sent to therapy for commiting suicide..." which makes no sense. You need "attempting" in there somewhere, otherwise, it's senseless because the character would be dead, not in therapy.
Secondly, you could use a spelling and grammar check. I'd point out specific examples, but this review would be far too long. Maybe you should get someone to edit it for you.
Also, you should definitely break it into paragraphs. One block of text is entirely too hard on the eyes.
2/22/2005 c14 5lovesickangel
Hey guys. I really liked this chapter. It's really sweet. I have a little trouble with the writing part, but I get busy. The next chapter should come up soon, but keeping watching for it.
5lovesickangelHey guys. I really liked this chapter. It's really sweet. I have a little trouble with the writing part, but I get busy. The next chapter should come up soon, but keeping watching for it.
2/21/2005 c1 jarvis100
Interesting, but I'm a little confused. But, hey! This is just chapter one. 7.9/10
Interesting, but I'm a little confused. But, hey! This is just chapter one. 7.9/10
2/10/2005 c1 5lovesickangel
Hey guys. I know it's weird for me to review my own stuff, but I tought what the hell. I like what i'm doing to this story. The story will get intense really soon and I hope that a bunch of you guys will keep reading and following the story. Don't worry i'm still working on her Choice, but I decided to take a break from it until I can think of some more stuff for it. I do want it to be a success. This one and Her Choice are going to be pretty long. I hope that you guys like. Later and happy reading.
5lovesickangelHey guys. I know it's weird for me to review my own stuff, but I tought what the hell. I like what i'm doing to this story. The story will get intense really soon and I hope that a bunch of you guys will keep reading and following the story. Don't worry i'm still working on her Choice, but I decided to take a break from it until I can think of some more stuff for it. I do want it to be a success. This one and Her Choice are going to be pretty long. I hope that you guys like. Later and happy reading.
2/7/2005 c1 Blank1379
This was very realistic; I like that. It's just the way people write in journals; forget indenting and skip around and all that stuff. I like your style of writing. What some people consider distracting actually makes it more real. But you never really said how his parents died. I guess in a journal you don't really need to, because you, the only one who's supposed to read it (emphasis on "supposed") already know. All in all, I really like it. Would be really tough for someone to see their parents die, huh? I wouldn't want to explain it, either. You done good. Well. You did well. Whatever. It was good, and real.
This was very realistic; I like that. It's just the way people write in journals; forget indenting and skip around and all that stuff. I like your style of writing. What some people consider distracting actually makes it more real. But you never really said how his parents died. I guess in a journal you don't really need to, because you, the only one who's supposed to read it (emphasis on "supposed") already know. All in all, I really like it. Would be really tough for someone to see their parents die, huh? I wouldn't want to explain it, either. You done good. Well. You did well. Whatever. It was good, and real.
2/7/2005 c1 2J.STEWART
..?
I find this to be somewhat disturbing to say the least. I personally had no clue where it was going when it went into the whole diary form. Personally, I like it when the narrator comes out and says who he is, however, in this case, I think it needed more than... 7 lines of dialogue.
It was alright. Not the best that I've seen. If I have time later, I'll come back and help with editing if you want it.
Also, a suggestion with the journal part: PRESS ENTER! I cannot stress it enough. My eyes kept hurting when I was reading it and I'm sure that you know what I'm talking about. If you make it a little more different, everything should be alright.
Good try.
7/10 grade, but I think that I'm being too nice..
2J.STEWART..?
I find this to be somewhat disturbing to say the least. I personally had no clue where it was going when it went into the whole diary form. Personally, I like it when the narrator comes out and says who he is, however, in this case, I think it needed more than... 7 lines of dialogue.
It was alright. Not the best that I've seen. If I have time later, I'll come back and help with editing if you want it.
Also, a suggestion with the journal part: PRESS ENTER! I cannot stress it enough. My eyes kept hurting when I was reading it and I'm sure that you know what I'm talking about. If you make it a little more different, everything should be alright.
Good try.
7/10 grade, but I think that I'm being too nice..
2/7/2005 c1 0101010101010101011
I would seriously consider getting grammar and spell checking systems, judging from the "potentional" of your story.
The paragraph at the top is needlessly taking up extra space. And please, chop up your story and try to stay on track. It's too meandering for its own good.
I would seriously consider getting grammar and spell checking systems, judging from the "potentional" of your story.
The paragraph at the top is needlessly taking up extra space. And please, chop up your story and try to stay on track. It's too meandering for its own good.