Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Un Fiore Chiuso

7/2/2005 c5 mauvais ide
POLENTA! i haven't had good fresh polenta since...forever it seems. awesome chapter though.
6/27/2005 c5 4DeliciousAmbiguity
Eda came back? Delphine and Jackson are just so cute, especially Delphine. I just love both of them to pieces! James and Ethan are awesome too! Hope you'll continue soon!
6/27/2005 c5 1DuchessYappingDog
Eda returns! As does James! I don't know if the Eda returning is good or not. Jackson might be disappointed. I like the ... chemistry? between Jackson and Delphine.
6/27/2005 c5 35pixy-dizzy
Kind of funny, kind of tragic, kind of beautiful.

...Just a little.

I love this story so much. I love the symbolism and I love the relationships between all the characters.

Halfway in love with you and your writing. :)
6/27/2005 c5 lostinmydreams
I really like this story its very different, keep up the good work!
6/27/2005 c5 1murky
The two (Delphine and Jackson) are so different, yet seem to be able to connect to each other in a way that other people aren't able to. I like how their relationship is developing. Sometimes I feel a tad out of the loop, but that's only to be expected. Eda comes? ha, this should stir things up a bit! haha, You're forgiven.. especially if you upload the next chapter real quick. Though if you don't... it's okay =)
6/23/2005 c4 Dana
Please, Please, Please, write more this one of the most intriguing/ interesting stories I have read, you must keep writing
5/6/2005 c4 2cbprice25
I am intrigued. I look forward to more!
5/5/2005 c4 1The Maverick Jester
You know, reading through these four things all at once (as I have a tendency to delete those little FictionPress alerts without a thought), it is almost disturbing how... Entrancing, this little tale is.

Ethan is a deliciously interesting character. An englishman with a peculiar fancy for splats of French and Italian? Hilarity ensues. To me, the slipping into second languages adds a feel of mysterious to him, but only because I do not understand Italian and French (I have taken years of Spanish and Spanish only, for all the good it has doen), and I am all too lazy to translate it myself.

Jackson is alluring if for nothing more than his ambivalence- or more accurately, my own ambivalence in my reactions to him. In his first sequence (with his freaking out at Del and the towel-lashing and all that) I was instantly overcome with that sort of dramatic horror- almost a fear of what the character would do.

And then of course his hilarious sequence with his Psychiatrist (the small bit about him conciously considering going while in the park outside was a nice touch). The touch of homophobia only added to the humor.

Finally the Park scene. His string of confusion, guilt, regret and shame at little more than Delphine's gaze and responses (combined with Ethan's comments in the letter) did a wonderful job of thickening the unease that follows her- which is nothing to say of its definition of Jackson's little mental... Quirks, we shall say.

And then... There's Delphine. I think I will have to go back and read the first chapter- the jumping into the story in the middle (as it is best, they say) left me, looking back, a bit confused at the going ons. At least in the first several paragraphs or so.

Her emptiness should be, by all accounts, a distinct turn off as a quality for any character- and yet it's strikingly interesting and, if I may use the same adjective again, alluring. Her instant forgiveness of Jackson's strike was a bit unnerving- but I have little doubt it was intending to be so, in some fashion.

Another lovely story from you, Azure. I do hope that your updates won't be too sparse.
4/5/2005 c1 Cerise
Boring? No, it's very far from boring.

Let me start off by saying that I am not a fan of too much description. Having read the warning at the beginning of your story, I hesitated a bit before reading it.

However, I don't think this story has 'too much' description. It describes a lot, and (you're right) it's more poetic and less action/plot-based than say, 'Things So Hidden'.

But that's different from 'too much' description. 'Too much' is the amount where it gets tiring and boring to read, and you find yourself skimming over it all. With this story, it's not like that. I love the description you use, and I love the atmosphere. You don't waste words, and each word means more. For example, with Ethan, I can see him in my head. I am usually bored to death by long-winded descriptions that recount the exact color of the character's eyes, their height, their age- that reveal everything in one long tedious breath. But with Ethan, it was more like you conveyed an impression of Ethan. "A picture means more than a thousand words," and it was like you conveyed a picture.

You also stay away from cliched descriptive phrases, which is refreshing. But I'm guessing (from the quality of the writing) that that's a given for you.

I've only read the first chapter, so I can't comment much on anything else right now, but I loved the end of Chapter 1- with the reference to the title- "Un Fiore Chiuso". I don't know of a poem like that, but I love the technique of repeating the title at the end of a chapter/story. (If I'm not mistaken, the Victorians were a big fan of that...?)

I'll go and read Chapter 2 now :)
3/23/2005 c4 4DeliciousAmbiguity
I liked that letter. It was good e.e
3/23/2005 c4 2BKGal-24
Fillers are okay I guess, it gives the readers a chance to skip ahead in time without feeling like you left out a bunch. Is James going to be a more prominant figure soon?
3/23/2005 c3 BKGal-24
The part with the two psychiatrist's didn't sit well with me because...in my experience that's now how psychiatrists conduct sessions. Typcially a psychiatrist wouldn't divulge personal details about other people...especially other patients in the same office. Also, they typically don't solicit advise, but do more reflective listening.But then again, mabye you were portraying crappy therapists! lol.I'm curious to see where you're heading with this because of the random look into the future by Jackson.Liked the new tidbit about his twin sister. I hope we find out why she ran away.
3/22/2005 c2 BKGal-24
You know, real people DO die in fires...sorry, I couldn't resist. Anyway, this chapter more than made up for the first one because now all the pieces are in place for me to continue!
3/22/2005 c1 BKGal-24
Yeah, it was a little hard to get into, but I've found that the best stories tend to start out a tad slow because it's the job of the author to lay a foundation otherwise, I know as a reader, I've felt cheated when I came to what was supposed to be a turning point or a climax. So I move on...
69 « Prev Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service