for Don't Belong2/13/2005 c2 
22slave to the voices
Spelling and grammar are much better here. However the centered format is still confusing. I like how you're bouncing into the different POV. Nice work, keep writing.
**Slave**
22slave to the voicesSpelling and grammar are much better here. However the centered format is still confusing. I like how you're bouncing into the different POV. Nice work, keep writing.
**Slave**
2/13/2005 c1 slave to the voices
I noticed a few spelling and grammar errors. That and the centered format slowed the flow of the story. You did a great job getting out the emotion of your main character. Also, the repetition of "I don't belong here." works very well in this piece.
**Slave**
I noticed a few spelling and grammar errors. That and the centered format slowed the flow of the story. You did a great job getting out the emotion of your main character. Also, the repetition of "I don't belong here." works very well in this piece.
**Slave**