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3/5/2006 c1 34Joshua7
I really enjoy your ability to go several directions in one poem. It's organized schitzophrenia (sp?), and I especially like the way you tell this story in reverse, showing futility. Nicely done.

In response to "Eternity: Now," you expressed some of the exact same emotions in your review that I experienced while writing it! What's been happening in my writing is I've been getting overwhelmed with paradoxes that I start losing myself in the poem in a kind of... surreal way. The idea of the poem was to combine contradictions: the temporal with the eternal, the earth with heaven, joy with sorrow, plural with singular. The structure itself was based on the Christmas song "Joy to the world," so heaven and earth weren't concoctions forced into the poem, I was actually just quoting the song, but I can see where that would confuse someone who wasn't familiar with it. Honestly, I don't see the inconsistency between old English and modern American... if you want to point it out to me I'd be appreciative. And different words are capitalized for different reasons, not necessarily for emphasis, sometimes because they represent proper nouns (i.e. One = God when I say "find Some in One" so that isn't emphasis, but a name). Oh wow, you totally hit the nail on the head with your frustration in jumping from Dead skin to singing, though in this case Dead means something base, depraved, evil, whereas the singing is a response to the joy of "stinging infinity" or hurting it, making it less infinite by making it a part of oneself. I know, its all very abstract, and it really really frustrates me too, haha. Thanks for reading it, though, and for your criticism. I hope you understand the backround for it and the reasoning behind some of the technical uniquenesses a bit better now, and I hope it doesn't turn you off to my poetry. Thanks again.
2/18/2005 c1 62Camman
Wow, this is a bit different than most. very good. I like the description of a romance gone sour backwards.

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