for The Broken Road11/18/2010 c24 BOOK LOVER
Hi!
I read your book prada and predjuce last year and loved it!
I also love this story you have written on fiction press.
Hi!
I read your book prada and predjuce last year and loved it!
I also love this story you have written on fiction press.
8/20/2010 c23 
2Abrasive
I thoroughly enjoyed this story. The writing was clear and accessible, as were the characters. There were also very few spelling/grammar mistakes.
However, at times I found it difficult to remember Lillian's blindness. Possibly you intended this, after all, she was a very strong, stubborn and independent character, which I liked about her. But I'd have preferred some more description regarding setting. Logically, as a blind person, Lillian would have relied heavily on her other senses, and although you did include reference to them, I rarely got a full sense of Lillian's perception of her surroundings. You might improve this by including more detail, for example, in the opening scene she walks into the butcher's shop - what does she smell, hear and feel when she enters? Can she smell the blood and bone, hear a heavy knife on the chopping board, feel a shift in the air from outside to inside? These details would have helped greatly to flesh things out and given a greater understanding of how Lillian dealt with her disability.
Anyway, aside from that, awesome job. :)
2AbrasiveI thoroughly enjoyed this story. The writing was clear and accessible, as were the characters. There were also very few spelling/grammar mistakes.
However, at times I found it difficult to remember Lillian's blindness. Possibly you intended this, after all, she was a very strong, stubborn and independent character, which I liked about her. But I'd have preferred some more description regarding setting. Logically, as a blind person, Lillian would have relied heavily on her other senses, and although you did include reference to them, I rarely got a full sense of Lillian's perception of her surroundings. You might improve this by including more detail, for example, in the opening scene she walks into the butcher's shop - what does she smell, hear and feel when she enters? Can she smell the blood and bone, hear a heavy knife on the chopping board, feel a shift in the air from outside to inside? These details would have helped greatly to flesh things out and given a greater understanding of how Lillian dealt with her disability.
Anyway, aside from that, awesome job. :)
7/30/2010 c12 Anonymous
This story is AMAZING! I LOVE it! Your writing style reminds me of that of Jennifer Leigh (another author on this website - you should check her out!)
One thing that I've noticed though, is that you've repeated used the word "then" when making comparisons, rather than the word "than". It's a very minor mistake, but I figured you might want to know of it!
Keep up the awesome writing! And congrats on getting published! (I plan on reading your book soon!)
This story is AMAZING! I LOVE it! Your writing style reminds me of that of Jennifer Leigh (another author on this website - you should check her out!)
One thing that I've noticed though, is that you've repeated used the word "then" when making comparisons, rather than the word "than". It's a very minor mistake, but I figured you might want to know of it!
Keep up the awesome writing! And congrats on getting published! (I plan on reading your book soon!)
7/22/2010 c25 5Single White Rose
I can't wait to read your book! :) I've put it in my shopping basket now!
5Single White RoseI can't wait to read your book! :) I've put it in my shopping basket now!
6/28/2010 c1 marijee
What an exciting night for Lilly to turn to tragedy. What happened to cause the bridge to fail? Reading on!
What an exciting night for Lilly to turn to tragedy. What happened to cause the bridge to fail? Reading on!
6/14/2010 c23 2ModoGirl
aww that was so cute and nicely done...i like how you worked out every detail and the plot was amazing =)
2ModoGirlaww that was so cute and nicely done...i like how you worked out every detail and the plot was amazing =)
4/12/2010 c23 AndItMovesUsAll
Aw that was such a sweet ending! I really enjoyed this, it had a great plot and was a brilliant romance. I know this is random but i noticed in one of the chapters you referred to the currency shillings, but you spelt it schillings, i know this isnt extremely helpful because i dont remember what chapter it was, but it was when Lily was thinking of going somewhere, early on, and she tells us she had a couple of shillings saved up.
Aw that was such a sweet ending! I really enjoyed this, it had a great plot and was a brilliant romance. I know this is random but i noticed in one of the chapters you referred to the currency shillings, but you spelt it schillings, i know this isnt extremely helpful because i dont remember what chapter it was, but it was when Lily was thinking of going somewhere, early on, and she tells us she had a couple of shillings saved up.
4/6/2010 c10 6ithinkyourgay
omg!
this story is so interesting! its getting good!
i wonder when she'll confess and when they'll be together.
6ithinkyourgayomg!
this story is so interesting! its getting good!
i wonder when she'll confess and when they'll be together.
3/27/2010 c19 grammargurl
Oh. My. Gosh. This story is so good! Logan is a first-class jerk. I love Lillian and hurt for her. Your writing talent is amazing! I bet I know why Lillian is getting sick... is she pregnant? Guess I'll go read more and find out!
Oh. My. Gosh. This story is so good! Logan is a first-class jerk. I love Lillian and hurt for her. Your writing talent is amazing! I bet I know why Lillian is getting sick... is she pregnant? Guess I'll go read more and find out!