for Poisoned heart9/13/2005 c1 Gorditude
Thats... AWESOME! lol
Thats... AWESOME! lol
6/23/2005 c1 
25Risto
the world is a cruel cruel place... escaping the poison into a world of ur own brings an even stronger poison thoug... u must confront ur poison.. or else it will creep upon you and destroy you
25Ristothe world is a cruel cruel place... escaping the poison into a world of ur own brings an even stronger poison thoug... u must confront ur poison.. or else it will creep upon you and destroy you
5/26/2005 c1 88Icthoid Matro Coselos
GREAT POEM! wow.. dark... I love it. so sad.. but i like it. I love the rhyming.
88Icthoid Matro CoselosGREAT POEM! wow.. dark... I love it. so sad.. but i like it. I love the rhyming.
3/28/2005 c1 7gingerbeer
I love the gradual transformation from speaking to poison in your mind to beginning to separate it from you as another entity. Was it intentional? Keep up the good work!
7gingerbeerI love the gradual transformation from speaking to poison in your mind to beginning to separate it from you as another entity. Was it intentional? Keep up the good work!
3/28/2005 c1 107Lover-of-Heartbreak
Nice. It has a really good flow...a trademark some people can't master. Good job at doing so.
107Lover-of-HeartbreakNice. It has a really good flow...a trademark some people can't master. Good job at doing so.
3/27/2005 c1 Clap Clap Raise Your Hands
very good, i like this, reminds me of my poem Poison.. only cause the name's similar really ... :) but this is really good, nice rhythm, the rhyme is nice but this line seems a bit forced
"You’ve thrown at me a dart,"
it just doesn't seem to read as naturally as the rest of the poem... the last line rocks though and i appreciate that it rhymes with the line i complained about... and i wouldn't like the last line if it stopped rhyming... so basically i like this (sorry for confusion) but maybe the line i "complained" about could be improved... but only if it keeps the rhyme with the last line! x weasel within x
very good, i like this, reminds me of my poem Poison.. only cause the name's similar really ... :) but this is really good, nice rhythm, the rhyme is nice but this line seems a bit forced
"You’ve thrown at me a dart,"
it just doesn't seem to read as naturally as the rest of the poem... the last line rocks though and i appreciate that it rhymes with the line i complained about... and i wouldn't like the last line if it stopped rhyming... so basically i like this (sorry for confusion) but maybe the line i "complained" about could be improved... but only if it keeps the rhyme with the last line! x weasel within x
3/4/2005 c1 14Cougar Draven
I see you kickin' it bluelettin' depression flow throughand through all the fat flamesI ain't sure if I see youI'm a Dark Draven Tecshootin' straight through the neckof the shadows surroundin'and the hounds that are houndin'and yet still there's a cloakand a darkness to breakand what I just don't knowis whether you asleep or awake...
The Random Freestyle Machine is BACK!
Sorry about that...just a flash of inspiration is all. I liked the rhyme scheme in this one...you know, it has a beat and I can dance to it, may it do ya fine.
Just one question, sai, before I away...have you ever read the Dark Tower series by Stephen King? The book list you had in your profile made me think that you might like to read something like that. Just wondering...
Long days and pleasant nights, sai.
~CDx5~The Noble Wanderer
14Cougar DravenI see you kickin' it bluelettin' depression flow throughand through all the fat flamesI ain't sure if I see youI'm a Dark Draven Tecshootin' straight through the neckof the shadows surroundin'and the hounds that are houndin'and yet still there's a cloakand a darkness to breakand what I just don't knowis whether you asleep or awake...
The Random Freestyle Machine is BACK!
Sorry about that...just a flash of inspiration is all. I liked the rhyme scheme in this one...you know, it has a beat and I can dance to it, may it do ya fine.
Just one question, sai, before I away...have you ever read the Dark Tower series by Stephen King? The book list you had in your profile made me think that you might like to read something like that. Just wondering...
Long days and pleasant nights, sai.
~CDx5~The Noble Wanderer
3/2/2005 c1 34Ethereal Kisses
Heya, I'm returning a review you kindly left me a couple of weeks ago (thank you so much!) I'm sorry it took me so long to return it.
This poem is quite thought provoking and it was pretty amazing in the flow and rythm. I also thought your subtle ryhme scheme was a nice touch. The words also touched me. Fantastic poem!
~ Ethereal Kisses ~
34Ethereal KissesHeya, I'm returning a review you kindly left me a couple of weeks ago (thank you so much!) I'm sorry it took me so long to return it.
This poem is quite thought provoking and it was pretty amazing in the flow and rythm. I also thought your subtle ryhme scheme was a nice touch. The words also touched me. Fantastic poem!
~ Ethereal Kisses ~
2/28/2005 c1 169wantedINheaven
Oh, poison. That's always a fun subject for poetry - no, really!
Sorry I didn't get to you before this; my server was screwed and wouldn't let me access these pages. All fixed though! Yay!
169wantedINheavenOh, poison. That's always a fun subject for poetry - no, really!
Sorry I didn't get to you before this; my server was screwed and wouldn't let me access these pages. All fixed though! Yay!