for Drink Up10/8/2005 c1 rachel
that was amazing i felt like you had been speeking to me as if i was that person what made you decide to write such a powerful poem what imspired you? i truely think you should write more books and what not you are a genuis with the writen word never stop writing -rachel
that was amazing i felt like you had been speeking to me as if i was that person what made you decide to write such a powerful poem what imspired you? i truely think you should write more books and what not you are a genuis with the writen word never stop writing -rachel
9/19/2005 c1 hey maria
...I'm ready to poke all the people who said you have 'formatting problems' or that this doesn't flow well. I thought this was amazing. And I've met so many people like the 'you' in your poem: trying to be deep and complex, when really it's all much simpler than that. And the ending, "you're going to want more than a sip later tonight," that's brilliant.
...I'm ready to poke all the people who said you have 'formatting problems' or that this doesn't flow well. I thought this was amazing. And I've met so many people like the 'you' in your poem: trying to be deep and complex, when really it's all much simpler than that. And the ending, "you're going to want more than a sip later tonight," that's brilliant.
9/18/2005 c1 
13Langsiell
ok. loved this poem! "you're going to want/ more than a sip/ later/ tonight". Loved that line. made me laugh and shiver together. Maybe what drew me in the most about this poem was the style- the long sort of disjointed poem with little puncuation and no (almost no?) capitalization. awsome. and thanks for reviewing my poem and telling me how to do that nifty enter thing!
13Langsiellok. loved this poem! "you're going to want/ more than a sip/ later/ tonight". Loved that line. made me laugh and shiver together. Maybe what drew me in the most about this poem was the style- the long sort of disjointed poem with little puncuation and no (almost no?) capitalization. awsome. and thanks for reviewing my poem and telling me how to do that nifty enter thing!
9/2/2005 c1 5RedHairedWriter
I know how to feels to need not want. it's an interesting piece, I can really see yor formating problems
5RedHairedWriterI know how to feels to need not want. it's an interesting piece, I can really see yor formating problems
8/16/2005 c1 1hotpoisonbloodmama
I am writing this in behalf of shadowedstar213.She is my best friend.You, however are a poophead.
A poem 4 you...
you
are
such
a
meanie
meanie
apple
keenie
so
go
eat
cucumber
pie
flame me back- I need a good laugh~
1hotpoisonbloodmamaI am writing this in behalf of shadowedstar213.She is my best friend.You, however are a poophead.
A poem 4 you...
you
are
such
a
meanie
meanie
apple
keenie
so
go
eat
cucumber
pie
flame me back- I need a good laugh~
8/6/2005 c1 9xmeredithxgreyx
It doesn't flow to well. There is no consistency to it. You might want to try metaphors and more descriptions. I understand what your trying to say in the poem but I think it could be a lot better.
9xmeredithxgreyxIt doesn't flow to well. There is no consistency to it. You might want to try metaphors and more descriptions. I understand what your trying to say in the poem but I think it could be a lot better.
8/4/2005 c1 24Searching4Truth
I really liked this. I loved the way you wrote it so that it's kind of like the narrator's thoughts, but the scene also immediately comes to mind. I love the broken lines as well...it seems to add to the effect. Anyway, great job, keep writing!
P.S. Thank you for your review. :-)
24Searching4TruthI really liked this. I loved the way you wrote it so that it's kind of like the narrator's thoughts, but the scene also immediately comes to mind. I love the broken lines as well...it seems to add to the effect. Anyway, great job, keep writing!
P.S. Thank you for your review. :-)
8/3/2005 c1 46Karkiana
Well, I don't really like the format but the emotion was good. I guess we all have our little problems in writing. And our opinions about other people's feelings. However, this poem was good and I liked it.
46KarkianaWell, I don't really like the format but the emotion was good. I guess we all have our little problems in writing. And our opinions about other people's feelings. However, this poem was good and I liked it.
7/23/2005 c1 24Sarah-Brighteyes
Hm I thought of a lot of things as I read this. One thing was someone who drinks wine, when everyone else drinks a beer (i might have to write on that lol) is always the simple one trying to be complicated, or maybe sophisticated, or maybe hiding something. Hm just my thoughts. I liked this. Interesting piece. Bravo.
24Sarah-BrighteyesHm I thought of a lot of things as I read this. One thing was someone who drinks wine, when everyone else drinks a beer (i might have to write on that lol) is always the simple one trying to be complicated, or maybe sophisticated, or maybe hiding something. Hm just my thoughts. I liked this. Interesting piece. Bravo.
7/23/2005 c1 29Katterree Fengari
it was starting to set up so I thought you hated the personodd turn. but there is a powerful emotion from those words.
29Katterree Fengariit was starting to set up so I thought you hated the personodd turn. but there is a powerful emotion from those words.
7/23/2005 c1 Invalid Night
Solid poem, I liked the choppiness of it. Though I think you could have made the same point in a shorter poem which would have made it more effective, because it would blend better with the line length.
Solid poem, I liked the choppiness of it. Though I think you could have made the same point in a shorter poem which would have made it more effective, because it would blend better with the line length.
7/22/2005 c1 rootts
um how about i tell u that ur poem was stupid. how about that? a comment if for constructive criticism not to say that it was stupid. so think twice before you write another comment
um how about i tell u that ur poem was stupid. how about that? a comment if for constructive criticism not to say that it was stupid. so think twice before you write another comment
7/8/2005 c1 3The Proxy Ninja
"but you/are too simple for such/complex things". Lol. This was a good poem. Maybe because it reminded me of someone I know.. I think I said the same thing about a few of reluctant writer's poems.. The formatting bugs me a little.. I think if it was just, straight-forward in good old subject-predicate, or noun and commentary stanzas, that would suffice.. though, it might take away from the ambiance a little. I don't know. Let me try to do so right now. Ack. It would look horrible- never mind. Over-priced wine is a little glaring and too.. hehn. Even though, it does well with this poem, and the setting, God.. I don't know, why can't an over-complicated fool be drinking something diet and carbonated with virtually no sugar or calories? Then again, that might be a little too humorously ironic for a poem like this. I'll take the format and the wine, -sip! smirks.-
3The Proxy Ninja"but you/are too simple for such/complex things". Lol. This was a good poem. Maybe because it reminded me of someone I know.. I think I said the same thing about a few of reluctant writer's poems.. The formatting bugs me a little.. I think if it was just, straight-forward in good old subject-predicate, or noun and commentary stanzas, that would suffice.. though, it might take away from the ambiance a little. I don't know. Let me try to do so right now. Ack. It would look horrible- never mind. Over-priced wine is a little glaring and too.. hehn. Even though, it does well with this poem, and the setting, God.. I don't know, why can't an over-complicated fool be drinking something diet and carbonated with virtually no sugar or calories? Then again, that might be a little too humorously ironic for a poem like this. I'll take the format and the wine, -sip! smirks.-
6/2/2005 c1 78myheartiswaypastbeating
Better than your other stuff, but thats not saying much...This is actually ok though...I suppose. I'm going to guess you haven't heard the quote below before, but it fits my image of you pretty well. Except I'm not sure if your the fool or among the "wiser people," but I'm definitely leaning towards fool.
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." Bertrand Russell
78myheartiswaypastbeatingBetter than your other stuff, but thats not saying much...This is actually ok though...I suppose. I'm going to guess you haven't heard the quote below before, but it fits my image of you pretty well. Except I'm not sure if your the fool or among the "wiser people," but I'm definitely leaning towards fool.
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." Bertrand Russell