6/4/2006 c1 3Crimson G
I refuse to even acknowledge my story as a mixture of Teen Titans and Naruto when it's not. I hate it when people think others are copying off other programs when in reality nothing is ever original anymore. I know this a year late, but I'll also read you story when I have a chance.
I refuse to even acknowledge my story as a mixture of Teen Titans and Naruto when it's not. I hate it when people think others are copying off other programs when in reality nothing is ever original anymore. I know this a year late, but I'll also read you story when I have a chance.
5/30/2006 c14 4Lynx Larabellows
... "Damned Resistance, Rain." Pure genius! I love it! Muhuahahaahahaha! lol sorry, just had to point those two words out.
Awesome chapters! Sorry it took me so long, been a crazy few weeks and I didn't look at anything on this site. So imagine my surprise to have about thirt author alerts in my inbox when I got on to update today...
- Lynx
... "Damned Resistance, Rain." Pure genius! I love it! Muhuahahaahahaha! lol sorry, just had to point those two words out.
Awesome chapters! Sorry it took me so long, been a crazy few weeks and I didn't look at anything on this site. So imagine my surprise to have about thirt author alerts in my inbox when I got on to update today...
- Lynx
5/10/2006 c2 alabrith ironflame
i like this chapter...I'm trying to read through all of your chapters. Oh, and read my next two chapters. I just added chapter nine a couple days back and eight has been up a while. I'm back in the streak so now ten will be up soon as well. So yeh, just read as I am doing yours! lol
i like this chapter...I'm trying to read through all of your chapters. Oh, and read my next two chapters. I just added chapter nine a couple days back and eight has been up a while. I'm back in the streak so now ten will be up soon as well. So yeh, just read as I am doing yours! lol
4/23/2006 c1 6Raven Kay
I thank you for the real review, for it shall help a great deal when I get a chance to edit the first few chapters especially. I appologize for taking so long to review back. I did enjoy this first thing quite some deal and I can not wait to read on. This is very interesting. You have a way with words. Good luck and I hope you read more on my story as I will yours.
I thank you for the real review, for it shall help a great deal when I get a chance to edit the first few chapters especially. I appologize for taking so long to review back. I did enjoy this first thing quite some deal and I can not wait to read on. This is very interesting. You have a way with words. Good luck and I hope you read more on my story as I will yours.
4/17/2006 c1 JCMah
Wow! Really intriguing. A very different twist on fantasy! I can't wait to finish reading all the chapters!
Wow! Really intriguing. A very different twist on fantasy! I can't wait to finish reading all the chapters!
4/8/2006 c13 82Twilit Exaggerance
Miles does amuse me.
'Eh, I did not much like that city anyway'
Now that made me chuckle.
Demure smile...your use of language is much better than mine. I'll have to up my ante in Hidden Redemption.
In short, a very good update. It probably would have been better if your points about Miles' persona was actually in the chapter, mind you.
Either way, he's my favourite. Though Pop-Tarts appearing knocked me a little out-universe, admittedly.
And I apologise for the long update of Eternal Balance. It sorta got out of control.
At least you have plenty to read :p
Keep up the good work, Demi!
Miles does amuse me.
'Eh, I did not much like that city anyway'
Now that made me chuckle.
Demure smile...your use of language is much better than mine. I'll have to up my ante in Hidden Redemption.
In short, a very good update. It probably would have been better if your points about Miles' persona was actually in the chapter, mind you.
Either way, he's my favourite. Though Pop-Tarts appearing knocked me a little out-universe, admittedly.
And I apologise for the long update of Eternal Balance. It sorta got out of control.
At least you have plenty to read :p
Keep up the good work, Demi!
4/8/2006 c12 Twilit Exaggerance
Amusing A/N - Evilly making us read more chapters to find out :p
I like how Sol is charaterised. If anything, you're getting better at this character.
You have perfected how to tell a story, mind you. Most just show it. Well wrote.
'fates haphazard hands' Pretty image.
Witty characters I love, so this gets a big thumbs up.
Amusing A/N - Evilly making us read more chapters to find out :p
I like how Sol is charaterised. If anything, you're getting better at this character.
You have perfected how to tell a story, mind you. Most just show it. Well wrote.
'fates haphazard hands' Pretty image.
Witty characters I love, so this gets a big thumbs up.
4/3/2006 c6 El Blanco
(sound of intense rocking out)
WEOH!(panting, trying to catch breath)
Now that that's out of my system, I can continue with the promised review. Truly an interesting read. I am up to chapter six, and can say one thing for sure. Your main character frightens me. No really, he is one scary little bugger. In ch.6 he's all like "Where am I?" and the demon's like "In hell, sucka!" and then he's like "Oh yeah?" KWE-SWOOSH SHING AHH!(sound of main character wiping demon blood from awesomely silver sword) I mean, what is he, an A.D.D. junkie with a katana? Crap! Man! Pancakes!Dear agent Porkpie,I have concealed this letter inside a particularly repetitive section of the review of a disturbing and often times grammatically satanic (good name for a rock band) piece of fiction. If you desire the +4 pants of unholy fury, you must trade the marijuana to Chuck Norris and give his portapotty to Pope John Paul the twentysixth and a half. I will continue transcription later, as it's almost time for my medication.Agent Fez.
(sound of intense rocking out)
WEOH!(panting, trying to catch breath)
Now that that's out of my system, I can continue with the promised review. Truly an interesting read. I am up to chapter six, and can say one thing for sure. Your main character frightens me. No really, he is one scary little bugger. In ch.6 he's all like "Where am I?" and the demon's like "In hell, sucka!" and then he's like "Oh yeah?" KWE-SWOOSH SHING AHH!(sound of main character wiping demon blood from awesomely silver sword) I mean, what is he, an A.D.D. junkie with a katana? Crap! Man! Pancakes!Dear agent Porkpie,I have concealed this letter inside a particularly repetitive section of the review of a disturbing and often times grammatically satanic (good name for a rock band) piece of fiction. If you desire the +4 pants of unholy fury, you must trade the marijuana to Chuck Norris and give his portapotty to Pope John Paul the twentysixth and a half. I will continue transcription later, as it's almost time for my medication.Agent Fez.
4/1/2006 c1 5Raniphae
(Thank you for the review, by the way. It means a lot to me that you -seemed- to like it that much.)
At this point your writing seems a bit on the casual side - perfectly fine for role playing, but for high fantasy like this I would -personally- recommend slightly more formalized speech. My only other suggestion is to make some sort of transition-mark (like three stars/asterisks) to indicate where the perspective switches; I found it very confusing at first when you suddenly made it into a dream-sequence.
Besides that though, already you have cool ideas and a neat writing style. And of course it's especially nice to hear that you enjoy writing the story, since it means that it will continue to be updated and interesting. :)
(Thank you for the review, by the way. It means a lot to me that you -seemed- to like it that much.)
At this point your writing seems a bit on the casual side - perfectly fine for role playing, but for high fantasy like this I would -personally- recommend slightly more formalized speech. My only other suggestion is to make some sort of transition-mark (like three stars/asterisks) to indicate where the perspective switches; I found it very confusing at first when you suddenly made it into a dream-sequence.
Besides that though, already you have cool ideas and a neat writing style. And of course it's especially nice to hear that you enjoy writing the story, since it means that it will continue to be updated and interesting. :)
3/22/2006 c11 82Twilit Exaggerance
I think its good. Cracktile was amusing. Very amusing.
The sword and fire comment sounds curious. Hope we hear more.
Oh, and on Eternal Balance...
I updated it, happy? :P
I think its good. Cracktile was amusing. Very amusing.
The sword and fire comment sounds curious. Hope we hear more.
Oh, and on Eternal Balance...
I updated it, happy? :P
3/15/2006 c11 4Lynx Larabellows
Yay, you updated! ;) Okay, this was good. Mesa like it, molto!
Erm... So, Archaia almost got zapped... by a fish, huh? lol, that's interesting. Was it an eel or something?
Well, keep up the good work :)
-Lynx
Yay, you updated! ;) Okay, this was good. Mesa like it, molto!
Erm... So, Archaia almost got zapped... by a fish, huh? lol, that's interesting. Was it an eel or something?
Well, keep up the good work :)
-Lynx
2/21/2006 c1 21Lauren DM Smith
I like it so far and promise to read the rest later. Thanks for the review and feel free to borrow Vermogen if you want.
I like it so far and promise to read the rest later. Thanks for the review and feel free to borrow Vermogen if you want.
12/22/2005 c7 cordell
its way to long fo me to even start reading sorry
its way to long fo me to even start reading sorry
11/24/2005 c1 4Lynx Larabellows
I’m sorry it took me so long, I’ve been kind of busy lately, and I seriously can’t believe it took me this long to finally read it, because this is awesome (and I’ve only read the first chapter so far!). Interesting concept, it’s really intriguing how you made Oración have his ‘children’ create the world instead; He rested on the seventh day, yeah right, he made them do all the work and rested the whole time ;) lol. Gale calling Oración ‘Oreo’ made me laugh, especially since I was munching on an Oreo at the time, lol.
Great work so far, and keep up the excellent work!-Lynx-
I’m sorry it took me so long, I’ve been kind of busy lately, and I seriously can’t believe it took me this long to finally read it, because this is awesome (and I’ve only read the first chapter so far!). Interesting concept, it’s really intriguing how you made Oración have his ‘children’ create the world instead; He rested on the seventh day, yeah right, he made them do all the work and rested the whole time ;) lol. Gale calling Oración ‘Oreo’ made me laugh, especially since I was munching on an Oreo at the time, lol.
Great work so far, and keep up the excellent work!-Lynx-
11/14/2005 c7 maria D
well...very good story i must say. I don't know where its going at all, but i guess thats the whole point... some of the stories arent very relivent so far but we'll see...ne way... good job keep it up!...and um...yea... elena sounds oddly familiar
well...very good story i must say. I don't know where its going at all, but i guess thats the whole point... some of the stories arent very relivent so far but we'll see...ne way... good job keep it up!...and um...yea... elena sounds oddly familiar