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for The Price, version two

7/13/2006 c1 AKRoldan
Description is well done. The writing is near-flawless. Unfortunately, though, I didn't feel that it was personal enough. Perhaps you wanted it like that? I'm not sure, but I think there may be room for adjustment to make this piece a bit more powerful.
1/17/2006 c1 958Faithless Juliet
This is really good.
10/23/2005 c1 40T41N7
wow, much better than the first one. Not that the first one wasn't good, because it was, but this is better. I can tell that you are a great writer, keep it up!
1/21/2001 c1 11Kilroy
When I wrote the original version, of this story, it was a little shorter, and the Marine hit the Japanese soldier with his first shot. I didn't even consider using a knife. Yesterday, however, I bought a Ka-Bar, the legendary Marine fighting/utility knife. It suddenly came to mind that the story could have more effect if the killing was more personal, and what's more personal than feeling the man die beneath you? How do you make it that personal? Use a knife. What kind of knife would a WWII Marine use? A Ka-Bar. I don't think I would've been able to write this if I hadn't bought that useless knife (what am I going to use a Ka-Bar for?). Knowing how the knife felt, its weight, the leather handle, made things different. Probably the best $40 I ever spent.

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