for Back to You4/6/2005 c1 
3Rothwyn Escarlata
Oh...this is very poignant. I agree with the first reviewer: your rhyme here is subtle and complimentary to the poem as a whole and I'd also like to mention that it reads beautifully due to its excellent metering. The imagery is well-chosen and brings to mind rich purple and gold stars that fall with streaks of teary dust until it all runs off the canvas into impersonal grayscale-it cradles the emotion you convey so nicely. Continuing with color imagery-I love the way you use the concept of fading colors to describe the downward descent into sadness of the narrator...an excellent poem! Your syntax was nice also-I am sometimes wary of people who try using "antiquated" word placement, but here it works well for you poem. Have you tried how it would look centered, by the way? As it is, the lines are well-matched by syllable but since they vary in length it looks ragged (no crime, in poetry!) and I wondered if a small difference in design might just give it the final polish. Kudos to you, love! I have to put you up on my fav. authors list if I haven't yet...
3Rothwyn EscarlataOh...this is very poignant. I agree with the first reviewer: your rhyme here is subtle and complimentary to the poem as a whole and I'd also like to mention that it reads beautifully due to its excellent metering. The imagery is well-chosen and brings to mind rich purple and gold stars that fall with streaks of teary dust until it all runs off the canvas into impersonal grayscale-it cradles the emotion you convey so nicely. Continuing with color imagery-I love the way you use the concept of fading colors to describe the downward descent into sadness of the narrator...an excellent poem! Your syntax was nice also-I am sometimes wary of people who try using "antiquated" word placement, but here it works well for you poem. Have you tried how it would look centered, by the way? As it is, the lines are well-matched by syllable but since they vary in length it looks ragged (no crime, in poetry!) and I wondered if a small difference in design might just give it the final polish. Kudos to you, love! I have to put you up on my fav. authors list if I haven't yet...