for Phoenix6/3/2008 c1 
12Xalga
I'm not sure if you ment Ever or every, either way works for poetry though. The last line, the . and ,. Just watch out for those. I mean I make mistakes, a good number, but it's always good to try and catch 'em when it's a short piece like this. You make a good use of the space you have, the imagery is simple and open. Keep it up.
12XalgaI'm not sure if you ment Ever or every, either way works for poetry though. The last line, the . and ,. Just watch out for those. I mean I make mistakes, a good number, but it's always good to try and catch 'em when it's a short piece like this. You make a good use of the space you have, the imagery is simple and open. Keep it up.
10/7/2006 c1 2Emely
Hey,
I thought this poem was very simple but nice.
Once again., lifting my wings.
The period should probably be taken out, although it would probably be good without the period or the comma.
Play with the punctuation. There doesn't need to be a comma after every line, and every line doesn't need to start with a capitalized letter.
I liked this. Good job, and good luck!
~~Emely
2EmelyHey,
I thought this poem was very simple but nice.
Once again., lifting my wings.
The period should probably be taken out, although it would probably be good without the period or the comma.
Play with the punctuation. There doesn't need to be a comma after every line, and every line doesn't need to start with a capitalized letter.
I liked this. Good job, and good luck!
~~Emely
3/11/2005 c1 9InSilverShadows
Wowzers! Luff it... is it haiku? Oh...nevermind. ((Whoa, deja vu..)) O.o
9InSilverShadowsWowzers! Luff it... is it haiku? Oh...nevermind. ((Whoa, deja vu..)) O.o
3/10/2005 c1 28Tk.T
Short and lovely. I liked this so much that I'm going to put it on my fav. stories list. A very well-put-together poem. Congrats!
Happy writing!
Tk.T~
28Tk.TShort and lovely. I liked this so much that I'm going to put it on my fav. stories list. A very well-put-together poem. Congrats!
Happy writing!
Tk.T~
3/7/2005 c1 Jordy
dark! witch means Jordy likes it!i think the best part is "Rising, from scattered ashes,The breath of ages now renewed" well BYE! *Jordy runs of to talk to her minion but runs in to a wall instead*
dark! witch means Jordy likes it!i think the best part is "Rising, from scattered ashes,The breath of ages now renewed" well BYE! *Jordy runs of to talk to her minion but runs in to a wall instead*