for To Sleep Perchance to Dream7/19/2005 c1 
25Risto
wow.. this poem was even better than the last one i read.. amazing.. i love how it just flows, no hesitations... and i especially love the end :P reading can definitely do that to ya if games don't lolkeep up the good work :)
25Ristowow.. this poem was even better than the last one i read.. amazing.. i love how it just flows, no hesitations... and i especially love the end :P reading can definitely do that to ya if games don't lolkeep up the good work :)
7/19/2005 c1 Eloquent-Marionette
hey, i really liked this poem. i liked the title, too. i also liked the ending where the kid wakes up and it was all a dream and then he goes back to sleep again. the poem itself reminded me of soemthing out of the lord of the rings. i really enjoyed it and i hope to read more of urs in the future. and thanx for reviewing me, i really appreciate it. good job, KW!~davida
hey, i really liked this poem. i liked the title, too. i also liked the ending where the kid wakes up and it was all a dream and then he goes back to sleep again. the poem itself reminded me of soemthing out of the lord of the rings. i really enjoyed it and i hope to read more of urs in the future. and thanx for reviewing me, i really appreciate it. good job, KW!~davida
4/13/2005 c1 141AllyCred
i love it...amazing imagery...such a good story told in this well done...beautiful...great job!lots of love ~AllyCred~
P.S.~~thanks for the review appreciate it.
141AllyCredi love it...amazing imagery...such a good story told in this well done...beautiful...great job!lots of love ~AllyCred~
P.S.~~thanks for the review appreciate it.
4/1/2005 c1 2nata
While I can see this poem suitable and narrowed down to something children would read... a trend I notice is both your poems is that you like to rhyme. While it's a good shot for first tries, and is good for the younger audience, for the wider range of readers it truly makes you come out sounding much more like a fourth grader rather than a sophmore. But who knows? Some people really like rhyming... I'm not much of a fan. Like I said, it makes you sound childish. In general, people who rhyme end up struggling so much to keep the rhyme going that they tend to lose the flow and beat, and it really ends up putting off the reader.
Your poetry does have potential, I'll give you that. The concept for this particular poem is simplistic yet interesting, a subtle little twist at the end. By the way of it you seem to have a way with imagery as well... Perhaps trying to use that imagery more in the direction of symbolism, as well?
These are all suggestions, of course. In general I enjoy your poetry (I have yet to read your prose), and you'll be put on my author alert list. =D
2nataWhile I can see this poem suitable and narrowed down to something children would read... a trend I notice is both your poems is that you like to rhyme. While it's a good shot for first tries, and is good for the younger audience, for the wider range of readers it truly makes you come out sounding much more like a fourth grader rather than a sophmore. But who knows? Some people really like rhyming... I'm not much of a fan. Like I said, it makes you sound childish. In general, people who rhyme end up struggling so much to keep the rhyme going that they tend to lose the flow and beat, and it really ends up putting off the reader.
Your poetry does have potential, I'll give you that. The concept for this particular poem is simplistic yet interesting, a subtle little twist at the end. By the way of it you seem to have a way with imagery as well... Perhaps trying to use that imagery more in the direction of symbolism, as well?
These are all suggestions, of course. In general I enjoy your poetry (I have yet to read your prose), and you'll be put on my author alert list. =D
3/12/2005 c1 19Dearx
theres alot of different emotions playing in here. And alot of different 'situations'interesting. somehow it reminds me of alice in wonderland.
ps:returning the favor by RandR your work
19Dearxtheres alot of different emotions playing in here. And alot of different 'situations'interesting. somehow it reminds me of alice in wonderland.
ps:returning the favor by RandR your work
3/12/2005 c1 5precariousbeing13
Definitely not a dream I'd like to have! Nicely written, very rhythmic!
5precariousbeing13Definitely not a dream I'd like to have! Nicely written, very rhythmic!