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for Suddenly Slowly

12/16/2005 c6 MoriMorte
awsome story u've done a good job hope u update soon!

i wish u luck on ur writing
12/14/2005 c6 6Death by Dangerous Driving
Hello.

Just to say I like the random song lines you add in... it gives it more power. The 'all-over-the place' techniques is effective...keep it up.

Song suggestion: Perfect - Simple Plan

(I changed the words a bit!)

"Perfect"

Hey dad look at me (Hal instead of Dad)Think back and talk to meDid I grow up according to plan? (Have I become you're ideal man?)And do you thinkI'm wasting my timedoing things I wanna do?But it hurts when youdisapprove all along

And now I try hard to make itI just want to make you proudI'm never gonna be good enough for youI can't pretend thatI'm alrightAnd you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts foreverI'm sorry I can't be perfectNow it's just too late and We can't go backI'm sorry I can't be perfect

I try not to thinkAbout the pain I feel insideDid you know you used to be my hero? (Don't know what to change it to here...)All the days you spent with meNow seem so far awayAnd it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud I'm never gonna be good enough for youI can't stand another fightAnd nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts foreverI'm sorry I can't be perfectNow it's just too late and We can't go backI'm sorry I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you saidNothing's gonna make this right againPlease don't turn your backI can't believe it's hardJust to talk to youBut you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts foreverI'm sorry I can't be perfectNow it's just too late and We can't go backI'm sorry I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts foreverI'm sorry I can't be perfectNow it's just too late and We can't go backI'm sorry I can't be perfect

Well... you now have my view on what'll happen next: Gavin could sing this some day?

Okay... maybe I'm now sounding insane but it's pretty late and I had this wacked idea and I just HAD to post this... do you never get that feeling?
12/12/2005 c6 2Jessica Renee
Wow. You have talent. Your words are so powerful and I love the way you go from present time to different times in the past. You don't make it confusing and I love how you reveal things piece by piece. Also leaves readers, like me, wanting more. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I love it and update soon!
12/12/2005 c6 Em Crosthwaite
Hahaha! “She nailed you!” He said between his hoots of laughter. Perfect. I just love this story. I want to hear more of what lead to the breakup though. They seemed so perfect in a strange way.
12/12/2005 c6 blahcomhotmail.com
I just finished reading all SIX chappies today. I don't really know what to think about this story. I like it, I know that much ... After looking at a first fiction by someone who can't even capitalize I's then yes...

Anyways. I almost feel bad for Alex, because he's that type of perfect nice guy, and he's never going to the 'the one' for her is he?

I would love for you to keep writting.. I can't really say much about grammar, since in creative writting it's completely different than essays. I do like your song choices. ; ) I can't wait to have some good constructive critisism for you and Garrett!
12/12/2005 c1 AnotherDreamer
I like it so far.
12/12/2005 c6 12it's only castles burning
Ack. . . .more amazingness. . . lol. . .can barely contain myself. . . I like Garrett, and I love Gavin, and I also love the end, where she says, "and eventually he would get back at me and get to me. In more ways than he meant." wOoT! Foreshadowing! I love it! Gr. . .when are the silly kidlets going to realize they're in love? Update son, chicabee!
12/11/2005 c6 kazahana
Great story, one of the underrated gems on FP. I find the flashbacks and secrecy to Hal's and Gal's relationship confusing so I hope everything will become clearer soon.
12/9/2005 c5 Lane
wow. love the way you write. hoping the next update will come soon.
12/7/2005 c5 it's only castles burning
This story is so a kidden gem. Youre timing and flashbacks, etc, are brill! Gavin seems deliciously infuriating. I like your other story, but this one is my favorite! Update son.
12/7/2005 c5 minute-glass
wow. i love this :) awesome. the flashbacks are okay, but i like the present a little more because i want to see what's going to happen between them :) you're a great writer. update soon please :)
11/22/2005 c1 Lets Play Russian Roulette
I'm likin' it! update soon!
11/12/2005 c5 poopie
this is good... i like how you haven't fully introduced what happened- i want to find out what happened and what will happen!

update~!
11/10/2005 c5 4estoOh
hi! wow...sad... i love the songs and aw i think i like gavin^^ but then again alex doesnt seem bad either...
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