for His Eyes1/7/2008 c1 ohshittae
wa...i've only read up til chapter 9 i think. and i like it very much. can you um...send me a copy? if you dnt mind. the story is great btw...
wa...i've only read up til chapter 9 i think. and i like it very much. can you um...send me a copy? if you dnt mind. the story is great btw...
1/6/2008 c1 notreal17
I love your story and wish you luck in getting it published please let us know when you do!...
I love your story and wish you luck in getting it published please let us know when you do!...
1/4/2008 c1 Lovedward48
Good luck! Could you inform us if/when it's released?^^
Good luck! Could you inform us if/when it's released?^^
1/3/2008 c1 adiiee
hi..im trying to read the story and it wont come up..it only comes up with 1 chapter... how can i read it can u email me a reply thanks.
hi..im trying to read the story and it wont come up..it only comes up with 1 chapter... how can i read it can u email me a reply thanks.
1/1/2008 c15 atreyu love
chapter 5 10 12 13 14 dont work :(
thats REALLY sad because now i dont know whats happening!
chapter 5 10 12 13 14 dont work :(
thats REALLY sad because now i dont know whats happening!
12/28/2007 c18 bookworm925
Aw!
What a wonderful story!
Right. Good you left Tristan blind. We!
It's so funny and mushy.
nice story... ;)
made my Christmas break nice. ;)
Aw!
What a wonderful story!
Right. Good you left Tristan blind. We!
It's so funny and mushy.
nice story... ;)
made my Christmas break nice. ;)
12/28/2007 c18 Neha
Hi...I'm new here and still anonymous here...but my friend encouraged me to read this story so I did...and I thought it was really really really sweet =)
I love the way you've written it, and it was just so nice the way the romance wasnt a focal part of the stormy but just kind of woven in
it was a great story. ^^
Hi...I'm new here and still anonymous here...but my friend encouraged me to read this story so I did...and I thought it was really really really sweet =)
I love the way you've written it, and it was just so nice the way the romance wasnt a focal part of the stormy but just kind of woven in
it was a great story. ^^
12/24/2007 c1 mikey
i just.. wow. great! read the whole story in one go, i couldn't stop!
i just.. wow. great! read the whole story in one go, i couldn't stop!
12/17/2007 c18 SparklingStar25
This story is awesome!I'm iin love with it!
And the ending was amazing!
great job!
This story is awesome!I'm iin love with it!
And the ending was amazing!
great job!
12/16/2007 c18 starsfinallyxplode
Hey, so you're story was pretty good. I loved the premise; it's different from your average high-school-rich-playboy-falls-in-love-with-average-girl-with-big-heart story. You write pretty wild plot twists, which actually work for the story. And I appreciate that your characters aren't perfect. Tristan doesn't change immediately and he likes to wallow in self-pity. That makes him seem more real.
There are a few things that could be improved, if you're still looking to improve this story (you might not, I don't know. You did finish this a long time ago.) First, you tend to use the word "exclaim" when I don't think that's what you mean. "Exclaim" means to yell, to say something loudly and excitedly. There are a lot of points where you use the word to mean something more like "say" or "remark" or "announce."
Second, you said that the Edmunds' 3,500 dollars was enough to pay for Amy's term at Northwestern. Just so you know, a semester at a private college like Northwestern would probably cost something around 20,0.
Last, when Amy first meets Tristan's parents, she kind of insults their son and their parenting skills by saying that he "mopes around" and that they treat him like a "child." This is a small thing, but they don't get the slightest bit defensive, and most parents wouldn't take that meekly from an 18 year old girl.
As I said, those are small things that might help if you're looking to improve it. Overall, though, it's a good story. Good job!
Hey, so you're story was pretty good. I loved the premise; it's different from your average high-school-rich-playboy-falls-in-love-with-average-girl-with-big-heart story. You write pretty wild plot twists, which actually work for the story. And I appreciate that your characters aren't perfect. Tristan doesn't change immediately and he likes to wallow in self-pity. That makes him seem more real.
There are a few things that could be improved, if you're still looking to improve this story (you might not, I don't know. You did finish this a long time ago.) First, you tend to use the word "exclaim" when I don't think that's what you mean. "Exclaim" means to yell, to say something loudly and excitedly. There are a lot of points where you use the word to mean something more like "say" or "remark" or "announce."
Second, you said that the Edmunds' 3,500 dollars was enough to pay for Amy's term at Northwestern. Just so you know, a semester at a private college like Northwestern would probably cost something around 20,0.
Last, when Amy first meets Tristan's parents, she kind of insults their son and their parenting skills by saying that he "mopes around" and that they treat him like a "child." This is a small thing, but they don't get the slightest bit defensive, and most parents wouldn't take that meekly from an 18 year old girl.
As I said, those are small things that might help if you're looking to improve it. Overall, though, it's a good story. Good job!
12/13/2007 c19 
30Waitingnotsopatiently
Hey!
Oh. My. Gosh. This has got to be one of the greatest stories I have EVER read on fictionpress. I have no idea how the heck I found it, but I did and I've been reading it straight through for the past hour. This story is really, really great. The idea was awesome, the writing was brilliant, the characters were believable...Like wow. I have never found a story that I liked so much where I literally couldn't click the arrow leading to the next chapter fast enough. Oh my gosh, I can't get over how great this was! You did a FANTASTIC job and I am so glad I got to read this! When I first clicked on this, I wondered how the heck you got 2,0 something reviews...I know why now...
Keep writing because you're great at it!
-Cougar
30WaitingnotsopatientlyHey!
Oh. My. Gosh. This has got to be one of the greatest stories I have EVER read on fictionpress. I have no idea how the heck I found it, but I did and I've been reading it straight through for the past hour. This story is really, really great. The idea was awesome, the writing was brilliant, the characters were believable...Like wow. I have never found a story that I liked so much where I literally couldn't click the arrow leading to the next chapter fast enough. Oh my gosh, I can't get over how great this was! You did a FANTASTIC job and I am so glad I got to read this! When I first clicked on this, I wondered how the heck you got 2,0 something reviews...I know why now...
Keep writing because you're great at it!
-Cougar
12/8/2007 c18 3Dream that was Life
Wow, that was amazing. I just read it straight from start to finish, and it was really, really sweet! I think it's good you left Tristan blind but confident, and they got back together.
Good Luck on getting the third draft published!
R.
3Dream that was LifeWow, that was amazing. I just read it straight from start to finish, and it was really, really sweet! I think it's good you left Tristan blind but confident, and they got back together.
Good Luck on getting the third draft published!
R.
11/23/2007 c5 3emotionless-stares
He'd a bit coldhearted but considering his situation, I wouldn't blame him. I hope that they can get along soon.
3emotionless-staresHe'd a bit coldhearted but considering his situation, I wouldn't blame him. I hope that they can get along soon.