for His Eyes9/29/2007 c18 Fresh Harvest
I really like this story! The premise, to begin with, is very interesting; and I really like how you wrote it. The whole story is very simple and sweet, and you don't drag it out unnecessarily. I really like Amy as a character, because she's obviously very kind, but she's also not naive; she's not one of those stock innocent characters. She works hard and she doesn't sit around pitying herself. Tristan is interesting, too, because the way he acts sometimes shows that yeah, maybe he was a little spoiled; but he did go through a lot, and in the end, he really makes the most of it.
I don't know how to detail everything I liked, but, all in all, I really did enjoy the story. I think it was so well-written. And yeah, I agree that you shouldn't have suddenly restored Tristan's eyesight; though it's something that's possible, it's not entirely realistic, and yeah, like with Jane Eyre, it's beautiful when people can love despite flaws they might not be able to change so easily.
Even all of the story ideas you mentioned in the author's notes and things sounded very interesting. Did you remove some of the other stories from FP, or do you put them somewhere else? Either way, I really like them and would love to read them. And my e-mail is :)
Have a great day!
I really like this story! The premise, to begin with, is very interesting; and I really like how you wrote it. The whole story is very simple and sweet, and you don't drag it out unnecessarily. I really like Amy as a character, because she's obviously very kind, but she's also not naive; she's not one of those stock innocent characters. She works hard and she doesn't sit around pitying herself. Tristan is interesting, too, because the way he acts sometimes shows that yeah, maybe he was a little spoiled; but he did go through a lot, and in the end, he really makes the most of it.
I don't know how to detail everything I liked, but, all in all, I really did enjoy the story. I think it was so well-written. And yeah, I agree that you shouldn't have suddenly restored Tristan's eyesight; though it's something that's possible, it's not entirely realistic, and yeah, like with Jane Eyre, it's beautiful when people can love despite flaws they might not be able to change so easily.
Even all of the story ideas you mentioned in the author's notes and things sounded very interesting. Did you remove some of the other stories from FP, or do you put them somewhere else? Either way, I really like them and would love to read them. And my e-mail is :)
Have a great day!
9/16/2007 c18 bridgette261
So I read this all yesterday (it was truly a guilty pleasure since I stayed up into the wee hours of the night reading it) and sorry for lurking (for the most part)! I just got back into writing and I guess I understand the pain it feels when you write something and there's just lurkers there watching you update and it's like HELLO I KNOW YOU JUST ADDED ME WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE A NOTE? and...I guess that means I should've reviewed for al the chapters...but I figure that...I might as well continue my tradition of leaving a review at the end of a completed story and then I'll just follow the new ones...
So you published this? I noticed the cover in your profile. It's cute and interesting and I would definitely take this off the shelf (TO READ!) if I saw it.
Well...that's about it, right? Oh right, the story! Haha So I really did love His Eyes and it's REALLY original and I was actually thinking about Jane Eyre when I read it and I'm glad that you kept him blind since...it DOES make the story better. I swear...but then again, some of my friends who read Jane Eyre completely missed the part where he got his eyesight back (I still don't know how they could possibly miss it...It was in the very last chapter!) but yea. I'm glad you kept it that way and...it was very well-written.
Congrats on breaking 20! May you write many more "best sellers" to come :)
-Katherine
So I read this all yesterday (it was truly a guilty pleasure since I stayed up into the wee hours of the night reading it) and sorry for lurking (for the most part)! I just got back into writing and I guess I understand the pain it feels when you write something and there's just lurkers there watching you update and it's like HELLO I KNOW YOU JUST ADDED ME WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE A NOTE? and...I guess that means I should've reviewed for al the chapters...but I figure that...I might as well continue my tradition of leaving a review at the end of a completed story and then I'll just follow the new ones...
So you published this? I noticed the cover in your profile. It's cute and interesting and I would definitely take this off the shelf (TO READ!) if I saw it.
Well...that's about it, right? Oh right, the story! Haha So I really did love His Eyes and it's REALLY original and I was actually thinking about Jane Eyre when I read it and I'm glad that you kept him blind since...it DOES make the story better. I swear...but then again, some of my friends who read Jane Eyre completely missed the part where he got his eyesight back (I still don't know how they could possibly miss it...It was in the very last chapter!) but yea. I'm glad you kept it that way and...it was very well-written.
Congrats on breaking 20! May you write many more "best sellers" to come :)
-Katherine
9/13/2007 c8 Emaryllis
Aww, that's sad. That must have been humiliating for him. (And please disregard my last comment, the one about the confusion with the ages. I think I just misunderstood something) =)
Aww, that's sad. That must have been humiliating for him. (And please disregard my last comment, the one about the confusion with the ages. I think I just misunderstood something) =)
9/13/2007 c18 eve
This wasn't a bad story but it was definitely overrated...the writing style is alright but nothing captivating, I was actually quite disappointed in this. But I just have a small comment - obviously as an author you have never been to college (or haven't gone yet) going to a school like North Western would cost $40,0 (at least) a year...so a semester would be about $20,0 NOT the amount you mentioned...I would do some research before writing numbers out in a story, it makes the story seem even more juvenile.
This wasn't a bad story but it was definitely overrated...the writing style is alright but nothing captivating, I was actually quite disappointed in this. But I just have a small comment - obviously as an author you have never been to college (or haven't gone yet) going to a school like North Western would cost $40,0 (at least) a year...so a semester would be about $20,0 NOT the amount you mentioned...I would do some research before writing numbers out in a story, it makes the story seem even more juvenile.
9/13/2007 c6 Emaryllis
Ek! This story is awesome so far. Oh, and by the way, not the be nit-picky or anything...but you said she hasn't missed a Charlie dinner in 12 years...but if her brother left when she was like 8...hasn't Charlie Week only been around for maybe...8 years? Sorry if it sounds like I'm criticizing, but I really do love this story!
Ek! This story is awesome so far. Oh, and by the way, not the be nit-picky or anything...but you said she hasn't missed a Charlie dinner in 12 years...but if her brother left when she was like 8...hasn't Charlie Week only been around for maybe...8 years? Sorry if it sounds like I'm criticizing, but I really do love this story!
9/12/2007 c2 Emaryllis
=D I already love it! You're a great writer too, by the way. Like, your writing style
=D I already love it! You're a great writer too, by the way. Like, your writing style
9/12/2007 c1 Emaryllis
Hi! This looks like the start of an -extremely- promising story, and, well, judging by the number of reviews it's gotten, I must be right! I love the plot idea, and it sounds as if there's room for a lot of meaningful ideas, as well as humor and of course, romance. Can't wait to read more =D
Hi! This looks like the start of an -extremely- promising story, and, well, judging by the number of reviews it's gotten, I must be right! I love the plot idea, and it sounds as if there's room for a lot of meaningful ideas, as well as humor and of course, romance. Can't wait to read more =D
9/9/2007 c18 
2a monday survivor
while i liked your story i think its a tad bit overrated. that said, if it matched the rating it would have to be just about the best thing ive ever read. it was still highly enjoyable.
2a monday survivorwhile i liked your story i think its a tad bit overrated. that said, if it matched the rating it would have to be just about the best thing ive ever read. it was still highly enjoyable.
9/9/2007 c1 abc1234
I realy like your story. And probably reviewed already too, btw. lol Is there ANY possibility of a sequel for HIS EYES? Please! I mean I understand that maybe that well has run dry or you think you left them in a good place (and you did) but I really want to know what happens next! So please at least think about it...pretty please... :P Oh yeah please get back to me...with a yes or a no, the former is better! lol
I realy like your story. And probably reviewed already too, btw. lol Is there ANY possibility of a sequel for HIS EYES? Please! I mean I understand that maybe that well has run dry or you think you left them in a good place (and you did) but I really want to know what happens next! So please at least think about it...pretty please... :P Oh yeah please get back to me...with a yes or a no, the former is better! lol
9/5/2007 c18 4Gilly Bean2
While I realize it is possible for someone with impaired vision to ride a horse and do simple things such as take them over some jumps or even just some simple cavalletti, as is the case in point Tory Watters, I must also point out that in this story you have Tristan being completely blind. Or so that was my impression. Ms. Watters at least has partial vision in one eye which she can utilize while mapping out a course. Short of taking a horse over a course so many times that it is second nature and the horse knows where to go, though, it is not likely that a completely blind person could navigate a show jumping course. A completely straight set of jumps, I'll give you that, but a course is full of turns and circles and loops to get to the next jump at the correct angle. Someone who is blind would just not be able to gauge that, and even the cleverest of horses cannot be shown the correct course on paper. Walking a course helps riders to estimate the number of strides they should let their horse take and how much they should let them out or take them in as far as the length of the stride goes, as well as to work out their angles and approach. Without vision you could only figure out strides and hope you wound up at the right jumps. Anyway, I know that you are aware of all of this by now. It just sort of bothers me because I grew up riding horses, have been around them my whole life, and this is just one of those things that I am hyper sensitive to. The same as when people get things wrong in a story-such as geography or names or grammar, that stuff bothers me too (just to clarify: you did not do any of that as far as I recall). I guess you could call it a pet peeve.
Anyway, I'm glad that you kept Tristan blind. It would have been too much of a Deus Ex Machina for his sight to come back. That part with Chris saying “You had his baby?” was pricless, by the way. I simply loved that part, as well as Amy's reaction to it. It was hilarious to me, because it is sort of logical that Chris asked, and his being a kid made it seem so cute, not to mention more realistic (as he is not likely to fully understand everything that goes with having a baby). Well...overall the story is very sweet, and I get that one goes into it with a certain suspension of reality. So, Cheers!
Gilly Bean
4Gilly Bean2While I realize it is possible for someone with impaired vision to ride a horse and do simple things such as take them over some jumps or even just some simple cavalletti, as is the case in point Tory Watters, I must also point out that in this story you have Tristan being completely blind. Or so that was my impression. Ms. Watters at least has partial vision in one eye which she can utilize while mapping out a course. Short of taking a horse over a course so many times that it is second nature and the horse knows where to go, though, it is not likely that a completely blind person could navigate a show jumping course. A completely straight set of jumps, I'll give you that, but a course is full of turns and circles and loops to get to the next jump at the correct angle. Someone who is blind would just not be able to gauge that, and even the cleverest of horses cannot be shown the correct course on paper. Walking a course helps riders to estimate the number of strides they should let their horse take and how much they should let them out or take them in as far as the length of the stride goes, as well as to work out their angles and approach. Without vision you could only figure out strides and hope you wound up at the right jumps. Anyway, I know that you are aware of all of this by now. It just sort of bothers me because I grew up riding horses, have been around them my whole life, and this is just one of those things that I am hyper sensitive to. The same as when people get things wrong in a story-such as geography or names or grammar, that stuff bothers me too (just to clarify: you did not do any of that as far as I recall). I guess you could call it a pet peeve.
Anyway, I'm glad that you kept Tristan blind. It would have been too much of a Deus Ex Machina for his sight to come back. That part with Chris saying “You had his baby?” was pricless, by the way. I simply loved that part, as well as Amy's reaction to it. It was hilarious to me, because it is sort of logical that Chris asked, and his being a kid made it seem so cute, not to mention more realistic (as he is not likely to fully understand everything that goes with having a baby). Well...overall the story is very sweet, and I get that one goes into it with a certain suspension of reality. So, Cheers!
Gilly Bean