for United Segregation5/5/2005 c4 Trinket
Oh I like it, you keep it very life-like and the characters are believable and, at least in Aaron's case, likeable. The storytelling is smooth and you can actually use a spellchecker! (jk..I'm a bit sick of those kids and their (mis)spelling)
Looking forward to more! -Trinket
Oh I like it, you keep it very life-like and the characters are believable and, at least in Aaron's case, likeable. The storytelling is smooth and you can actually use a spellchecker! (jk..I'm a bit sick of those kids and their (mis)spelling)
Looking forward to more! -Trinket
5/5/2005 c4 Coconutofdoom
This story is good so far. Your a talented writter. However in some parts of the story it is a little confusing(it may be me..I'm sick ^_^)its mostly the dreams that are a little confusing. But once again it my be me...update soonMichelle
This story is good so far. Your a talented writter. However in some parts of the story it is a little confusing(it may be me..I'm sick ^_^)its mostly the dreams that are a little confusing. But once again it my be me...update soonMichelle
5/3/2005 c4 princessmax
That's one damn good cop.
You're doing an excellent job with this story; I didn't think you'd be able to write anything considerably better than Inevitably, because quite frankly, there are parts to Inevitably that I still remember because they were so 'true to life'. The bonfire in particular, with the toilet paper ripped off from the public loo; that really sticks in my mind.
I actually much prefer this, though. It's awkward and yuck to read through because it's so easy to see what Aaron's thinking and feeling, which makes it terrible but kind of addictive. I had to go back and re-read this several times because of the 'ugh-I-don't-want-to-think-too-hard-about-tis' factor.
That's one damn good cop.
You're doing an excellent job with this story; I didn't think you'd be able to write anything considerably better than Inevitably, because quite frankly, there are parts to Inevitably that I still remember because they were so 'true to life'. The bonfire in particular, with the toilet paper ripped off from the public loo; that really sticks in my mind.
I actually much prefer this, though. It's awkward and yuck to read through because it's so easy to see what Aaron's thinking and feeling, which makes it terrible but kind of addictive. I had to go back and re-read this several times because of the 'ugh-I-don't-want-to-think-too-hard-about-tis' factor.
5/3/2005 c4 
96Liebe Sasa
Oh man, poor Aaron. I feel like giving him a big hug, but that would probably hurt/freak him out even more. :(
~Sasa
96Liebe SasaOh man, poor Aaron. I feel like giving him a big hug, but that would probably hurt/freak him out even more. :(
~Sasa
4/27/2005 c3 ddz008
Great chapter!I'm glad you have updated! :DHe wasn't dreaming? Was he raped?The rapist is the guy from the loo? Ah, now I have to read the next chapter! What happened?Keep writing, please!Great story!:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Great chapter!I'm glad you have updated! :DHe wasn't dreaming? Was he raped?The rapist is the guy from the loo? Ah, now I have to read the next chapter! What happened?Keep writing, please!Great story!:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
4/11/2005 c2 2A Boy Flower
'Coop' makes me think of a chicken coop. At least, I think that's what it's called.I laughed at the bathroom scene. Maybe because I'm an idiot. I found it humorous, though. O.o some of the people you meet...I like Mr. No-Name, though.::adds to favorites::Ok, well, update soon!
2A Boy Flower'Coop' makes me think of a chicken coop. At least, I think that's what it's called.I laughed at the bathroom scene. Maybe because I'm an idiot. I found it humorous, though. O.o some of the people you meet...I like Mr. No-Name, though.::adds to favorites::Ok, well, update soon!
4/11/2005 c1 A Boy Flower
I've read this about 12 times, and I always forget to review. I should learn telepathy. ::ish cool::...Man... I want three weeks off. Lucky bum.I like Bec! ::hugs Bec::
I've read this about 12 times, and I always forget to review. I should learn telepathy. ::ish cool::...Man... I want three weeks off. Lucky bum.I like Bec! ::hugs Bec::
4/10/2005 c2 Lucifer's Sonata
that was so much fun to read! hahah please update soon! i really loved Aaron in this chapter...poor baby can't sleep though T_T can someone help the brother out? hahah update soon! good job!
that was so much fun to read! hahah please update soon! i really loved Aaron in this chapter...poor baby can't sleep though T_T can someone help the brother out? hahah update soon! good job!
4/8/2005 c2 21princess max
'...or worse'
Worse. Far worse. *shudders*
Nice fourex ref, beer ads are pitifully funny/pathetic.
And there's a plot. And I write crap reviews.
Try and update a little quicker nextime, eh?
21princess max'...or worse'
Worse. Far worse. *shudders*
Nice fourex ref, beer ads are pitifully funny/pathetic.
And there's a plot. And I write crap reviews.
Try and update a little quicker nextime, eh?
4/8/2005 c2 25Esquirella
You make me wait for them. LOL! Good thing I get to read them before you post them.
25EsquirellaYou make me wait for them. LOL! Good thing I get to read them before you post them.
3/23/2005 c1 12eighteen hundred
Ahh, I really like this. Aaron reminds me somewhat of myself. I really like your writing, its very...finished, if you know what I mean. Updat this soon^^
12eighteen hundredAhh, I really like this. Aaron reminds me somewhat of myself. I really like your writing, its very...finished, if you know what I mean. Updat this soon^^
3/22/2005 c1 21princess max
lol, neighbour's pissed at your cat's screeching? *doesn't blame them in the slightest*
Good start, I laughed at the scratching the bum part. Actually, all his workmates amused me to no end.
Poor Bec (yes, I sympathise with the women), feeling snubbed without a snub-ee in arms must be hard.
Anyway, update soon, I want to see if Aaron meets anyone whilst on holidays.
21princess maxlol, neighbour's pissed at your cat's screeching? *doesn't blame them in the slightest*
Good start, I laughed at the scratching the bum part. Actually, all his workmates amused me to no end.
Poor Bec (yes, I sympathise with the women), feeling snubbed without a snub-ee in arms must be hard.
Anyway, update soon, I want to see if Aaron meets anyone whilst on holidays.