3/22/2005 c1 4Food For Thought
Here's some Food For Thought:

This story seems weird, but not necessarily in the bad way ...I love stories that are unorthodox and off-the-wall. This story, though, is a bit TOO out there. I wouldn't classify this as "fantasy", but rather "sci-fi" or even "manga". Anyway, this publication needs a much more expanded vocabulary, the dialogue between the characters seem quite unilateral. Also, your writing tends to shift from present tense to past tense a lot. Proofread for that and make the essential corrections. It's difficult to write ANY story these days, much less a FANTASY FICTION, so I applaud you for writing in this genre. But, on this site, you're going to be competing for people to notice you and your stories. There are authors out here that could give J.K. Rowling a run for her money, so you have to "step your game up". Keep going though, but remember not to get too crazy. Also, remember that what you write ...what your characters say and do must make sense. Otherwise, someone WILL point out your mistakes for you, constructively or otherwise.

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