for Miles away6/3/2005 c1 loster
i kinda feel dat way right now...its ok..but it needs sum work
i kinda feel dat way right now...its ok..but it needs sum work
4/29/2005 c1 
6Nobody-n-Particular
I agree with Oksana, and you should expand upon this because it does have that feeling of distance, etc, just need to show it.
6Nobody-n-ParticularI agree with Oksana, and you should expand upon this because it does have that feeling of distance, etc, just need to show it.
3/25/2005 c1 deleted-123-45
Okay, it's not particularly good, but it's not bad either. What it needs is A) a rewrite using lots of imagery ("show don't tell") or B) a few other haikus using concrete imagery to make it into a story. If you choose B, it would work best as the conclusion to the series. However, as I said, it's not all that bad. Keep it, it will come in handy.
Okay, it's not particularly good, but it's not bad either. What it needs is A) a rewrite using lots of imagery ("show don't tell") or B) a few other haikus using concrete imagery to make it into a story. If you choose B, it would work best as the conclusion to the series. However, as I said, it's not all that bad. Keep it, it will come in handy.