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for Raining Blood

8/2/2005 c4 8Falconer Aysel
He only gets three hours of sleep and he's complaining? I would thank god for that amount of sleep. That bodyspray...it wouldn't be...tag? Would it? (laughs gleefully) Hey, hey, hey! Slow down a moment! What did he do until Saturday if he couldn't go outside? What's with that! I have a keybowl, Tag-man! So there! Hey, now, first he's burned by sunlight, then he's not? And what was the transperency for? Or did that make him immune to sunlight? Fried chicken...huh? Well, whatever. I liked the movie description, tag-man! -Aysel
8/1/2005 c3 Falconer Aysel
That little girl didn't seem to concerned about her head, Lion. That seems a bit odd. ...Poor girl, though. I liked the whole, I'm gonna jump into a creek, now! That was funny... bye! Aysel
8/1/2005 c2 Falconer Aysel
Alex got mail at night? How weird is that. Stalker UPS man. AH! The reflectionless vampire trick! (laughs) I remember getting yelled at for that! I like the pyramid trick.
8/1/2005 c1 Falconer Aysel
Ah, Mr. Lionheart. Let's get started, shall we? Another Alex! Do you fancy that name? So, um, was the plot supposed to get anywhere in this chapter? 'Cus that just seemed like a too perfect day at a certian Alex's house. Hmm.
5/27/2005 c2 candycane-collage
AH! NO reflection? That's freaky! I love the description of the pyramid thingy, it's cool. You NEED to update soon, very soon. You have left me in a suspenseful situation. Please update.
5/27/2005 c1 candycane-collage
Sweet. It's great. I love it. There's a guy named Alex in my story too. What a coincidence. *shifty eyes* I still love it, though.
5/13/2005 c2 Marybeth
I like it so far. But the chapters are too short. The family seems...to perfect. Ya know? Preppy little sister, good older brother, and grate parents. Its just my opion and it dosn't really mean anything. so...ya...err...C-Ya
5/13/2005 c2 14In Search of Sunrise
nice ending! for now that is. the story is pretty good overall, remember to keep writing! i'll be checking =P
5/12/2005 c2 2Jenniexb
Very interesting beginning, I can't wait for the next installment.Jenniexb
3/27/2005 c1 22dragonsdream13
well you seem to have a good idea in your head about the box and what not but this beggining is kind of hard to read through in some parts. mostly the big parahraphs and then really small ones seem out of key and several parts could be worded better. the biggest problems are in fact in the paragraphs, and the rest of it (dialogue mainly) is fine. I think you might have a good story in your head, but you need to work on setting up the setting better (as in this section) so that its easier to picture.-DragonsDream

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