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for Through the Labyrinth

7/26/2005 c1 8Falconer Aysel
Why, hello, Lion. Since you reviewed mine, I shall review yours. First: The sentence: "With, 5 million pieces of gold, I would be set for life." You don't need the comas. And the 5 should be spelled out since it is under ten. And for the cat medal, it would have been more interesting if you had included the process by which Alex figured out the code...not just staring at it. I'm sure the code didn't just tell him. Ha! The second puzzle was better, but still, how does he know the code? I like the jolly rancher part, it was cute. A bit of lucky in his mouth, neh? I didn't think the axes part was very original, but the part where his leg got hurt was a bit better. In the movies they always escape unscathed. Losers. You need battle scars, no? and when he fell, shouldn't he have been more mindful of his leg? He did hurt it pretty bad, right? So it should've hurt when he "woke up". Other than that, it was a good ending to this...labyrinth thing, and a good idea. Well, that's all I have to say, so ta ta! Aysel
4/10/2005 c1 5Mizu Sousui
Nice story, very descriptive, and your character seems so human. Well, bye! (yes this is Will)

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