for The Cowboy and the Southern Belle6/14/2009 c1 NeverFinished
Hi,
I'm enjoying your story and i hope you're going to continue with it.
For some constructive advice, i'd like to say that you should try to write the story eitehr in the past tense or the present tense. Not go back and forth. You did that especially in the first chapter. It's a bit confusing and this read very well because of it. But otherwise, it's a terrific story and i'll definitely be keeping my eye on it.
Greetings,
Neverfinished
Hi,
I'm enjoying your story and i hope you're going to continue with it.
For some constructive advice, i'd like to say that you should try to write the story eitehr in the past tense or the present tense. Not go back and forth. You did that especially in the first chapter. It's a bit confusing and this read very well because of it. But otherwise, it's a terrific story and i'll definitely be keeping my eye on it.
Greetings,
Neverfinished
5/30/2008 c4 JoBen
great story ... nice romance. too bad Bella is so insecure about her figure when obviously Graham likes it. I wonder what happened to her to make her think she was fat.
great story ... nice romance. too bad Bella is so insecure about her figure when obviously Graham likes it. I wonder what happened to her to make her think she was fat.
7/2/2005 c3 
3Kalanu Citlali
Woo hoo! Great chapter! Even though I'm about a month late, I'm glad you updated!
Keep up the good work, and feel free to call down the powers of your muse any time you like. :D
3Kalanu CitlaliWoo hoo! Great chapter! Even though I'm about a month late, I'm glad you updated!
Keep up the good work, and feel free to call down the powers of your muse any time you like. :D
6/5/2005 c3 13BellezAzul
Another good chapter. Good job on the sexual tension :) Two thumbs up. Next chapter, do the accidental kissing thing! :-P Update soon babe!
13BellezAzulAnother good chapter. Good job on the sexual tension :) Two thumbs up. Next chapter, do the accidental kissing thing! :-P Update soon babe!
6/5/2005 c3 5MandyHubbard
hey! just want to say this was a great chapter- you're getting really good at creating scenes that are character driven and not actiion driven. I enjoyed the interaction after the broken plate...and I'm dying for these two to get together!
One thing to work on is your use of "ing" verbs...adding ING to the end of a verb weakens it. Stuff like "causing her to jump" would be better as "she jumped." Know what i mean? Its more concise and easier to picture.
I like the complexity of her feelings about her weight- I think everyone can identify with it. It was also great the way you had him inadvertantly insult her- becuae all guys do that by accident! us girls are too sensitive...so we can all identify with her feelings.
Anyway, great chapter. :)
5MandyHubbardhey! just want to say this was a great chapter- you're getting really good at creating scenes that are character driven and not actiion driven. I enjoyed the interaction after the broken plate...and I'm dying for these two to get together!
One thing to work on is your use of "ing" verbs...adding ING to the end of a verb weakens it. Stuff like "causing her to jump" would be better as "she jumped." Know what i mean? Its more concise and easier to picture.
I like the complexity of her feelings about her weight- I think everyone can identify with it. It was also great the way you had him inadvertantly insult her- becuae all guys do that by accident! us girls are too sensitive...so we can all identify with her feelings.
Anyway, great chapter. :)
5/25/2005 c2 12guardnerd
Hey! Great story. I know exactly how she feels. When you described her it sounded like you were describing me. One thing, you tend to switch tenses throughout the entire story. One sentence is in the future and the next is in the past. You need to pick one and stick with it. I would recommend the past tense. Other than that I can't wait for more!
12guardnerdHey! Great story. I know exactly how she feels. When you described her it sounded like you were describing me. One thing, you tend to switch tenses throughout the entire story. One sentence is in the future and the next is in the past. You need to pick one and stick with it. I would recommend the past tense. Other than that I can't wait for more!
5/17/2005 c2 1No-One's-Hero
Good beginning! I like the basis of the story, it'd be great to see them each interact with others, to show how different they each are when together (like how Graham always calms down around Annabella).
Looking forward to reading more!
1No-One's-HeroGood beginning! I like the basis of the story, it'd be great to see them each interact with others, to show how different they each are when together (like how Graham always calms down around Annabella).
Looking forward to reading more!