for Death is not the End10/19/2006 c1 
78Ironic Presence
no offense, but when you say "embrace death", it kind of seems weird. I don't think we should embrace it, but endure it.
From this poem, I'm guessing you're a Christian. Um... I seem to recall Jesus in Gethsemene sweating blood over the death he did not want. He accepted it, though he was afraid (I think anyone would be if they knew that their death would be bloody and painful). Yet, I understand what you're saying: death is meeting God, finally. On the flip side, it's also Judgment Day. I don't know. It is an ok poem.
78Ironic Presenceno offense, but when you say "embrace death", it kind of seems weird. I don't think we should embrace it, but endure it.
From this poem, I'm guessing you're a Christian. Um... I seem to recall Jesus in Gethsemene sweating blood over the death he did not want. He accepted it, though he was afraid (I think anyone would be if they knew that their death would be bloody and painful). Yet, I understand what you're saying: death is meeting God, finally. On the flip side, it's also Judgment Day. I don't know. It is an ok poem.
7/27/2005 c1 50Arael the 15th
Ugh...Shit, I lost all the rest of my respect for this poem with the final line. In case you forgot, not everyone is a Christian/Jew/Muslim. And even still, what makes you think that you're beliefs are right? How do you know for a fact that there is a God and that there is an afterlife? You don't. It's called having faith. Faith is what you believe in, now, it doesn't mean that it's the right way, but it's what helps get you to sleep at night. Do I know if there's a God and/or afterlife? No, but I'm, getting sick of people like you that project this image that there is. Death for some of us is nothing but the end of our conscious state and that we 'exist' only in the memories and dreams of our loved ones. We make death something to fear because we want to control the masses and make them fear something that we can make them do stuff to avoid (read 1984 and you'll see what I mean). And death obviously isn't that badly hated because people all over the world embrace the idea of spreading it to their enemies. Plain and simple-like, bud, death is the atrophyof your body's life functions that leads to your body decaying and decomposing. Nothing to fear, it's just your slef turning to dust.
50Arael the 15thUgh...Shit, I lost all the rest of my respect for this poem with the final line. In case you forgot, not everyone is a Christian/Jew/Muslim. And even still, what makes you think that you're beliefs are right? How do you know for a fact that there is a God and that there is an afterlife? You don't. It's called having faith. Faith is what you believe in, now, it doesn't mean that it's the right way, but it's what helps get you to sleep at night. Do I know if there's a God and/or afterlife? No, but I'm, getting sick of people like you that project this image that there is. Death for some of us is nothing but the end of our conscious state and that we 'exist' only in the memories and dreams of our loved ones. We make death something to fear because we want to control the masses and make them fear something that we can make them do stuff to avoid (read 1984 and you'll see what I mean). And death obviously isn't that badly hated because people all over the world embrace the idea of spreading it to their enemies. Plain and simple-like, bud, death is the atrophyof your body's life functions that leads to your body decaying and decomposing. Nothing to fear, it's just your slef turning to dust.
6/27/2005 c1 17TrueToMyself
Hey!
Even if the first few lines are a bit cliche, this is still a very nice poem. In Line 9, the "i" should be capitalized, by the way. My favorite lines, which really gave the poem a personal feel, were "I'm not speaking from experience/But of what I believe is true." About the "I know this doesn't rhyme/But don't the words count too?" however, I have to say I felt they were unnecessary and broke into the emotion of the poem. It seemed as if you were desperate for something to write. The end of the poem gives an amazing message to all who read it.
Keep up the fantastic art,
TTM
**Message to "Xanthe (of XantheXanthias)"**
Thanks for the review on "We Are"; I have to say I was expecting something like that sooner or later. The poem was not about 2005-present-day-America. It was a story more about the "concept" of America, what it could have/should have been. It was my attempt at depicting America as the immigrants thought it would be when they left their homes to flock here.
Note - I would like to remark on your ending statement ("I can't even think straight and give you some kind of arguement..."). It was a bit pointless to write that after a paragraph-long argument, I think. Also, there is only one "e" in "argument."
Note 2 - In your profile, you describe yourself as "Republican," the same party as Bush. The same person "whose War we are fighting..." You are being a bit hypocritical, if you ask me. In addition, "war" should not be capitalized in this situation.
Note 3 - It is hard to take this seriously when you can not even punctuate it correctly. You are missing two question marks, have eight sentence fragments, a run-on sentence, and way to many ellipses used incorrectly.
Thank you for your opinion,
TTM
17TrueToMyselfHey!
Even if the first few lines are a bit cliche, this is still a very nice poem. In Line 9, the "i" should be capitalized, by the way. My favorite lines, which really gave the poem a personal feel, were "I'm not speaking from experience/But of what I believe is true." About the "I know this doesn't rhyme/But don't the words count too?" however, I have to say I felt they were unnecessary and broke into the emotion of the poem. It seemed as if you were desperate for something to write. The end of the poem gives an amazing message to all who read it.
Keep up the fantastic art,
TTM
**Message to "Xanthe (of XantheXanthias)"**
Thanks for the review on "We Are"; I have to say I was expecting something like that sooner or later. The poem was not about 2005-present-day-America. It was a story more about the "concept" of America, what it could have/should have been. It was my attempt at depicting America as the immigrants thought it would be when they left their homes to flock here.
Note - I would like to remark on your ending statement ("I can't even think straight and give you some kind of arguement..."). It was a bit pointless to write that after a paragraph-long argument, I think. Also, there is only one "e" in "argument."
Note 2 - In your profile, you describe yourself as "Republican," the same party as Bush. The same person "whose War we are fighting..." You are being a bit hypocritical, if you ask me. In addition, "war" should not be capitalized in this situation.
Note 3 - It is hard to take this seriously when you can not even punctuate it correctly. You are missing two question marks, have eight sentence fragments, a run-on sentence, and way to many ellipses used incorrectly.
Thank you for your opinion,
TTM
6/12/2005 c1 LondonGoth17
Really enjoyed this. Especially "Our culture has promoted
This sick and dark image
The scythe, the horror
No wonder we all fear it."
So true. Our society does prompt many bad things lol
Really enjoyed this. Especially "Our culture has promoted
This sick and dark image
The scythe, the horror
No wonder we all fear it."
So true. Our society does prompt many bad things lol
5/25/2005 c1 183Jo Madden
I'm not into God that much, i'm a pagan, but this is really good. Keep it up.
JB Madden
183Jo MaddenI'm not into God that much, i'm a pagan, but this is really good. Keep it up.
JB Madden
4/1/2005 c1 41Frozen Inside
i really liked it. did your friend write it or did you? .. typo: But of what I believe is truei think you want "of" to be "if" ? thanks for my review, i really appreciated it. i really really loved the lines : "I know this doesn't rhyme,
But don't the words count too?"like.. wow. that describes my life. haha. figure that out. anyways good poem. if written by you: amazing job, and i will try to read more of your stuff, i just lack the time right now. if written by your friend: make sure you get more of her/his stuff! and send it to me or something haha.
41Frozen Insidei really liked it. did your friend write it or did you? .. typo: But of what I believe is truei think you want "of" to be "if" ? thanks for my review, i really appreciated it. i really really loved the lines : "I know this doesn't rhyme,
But don't the words count too?"like.. wow. that describes my life. haha. figure that out. anyways good poem. if written by you: amazing job, and i will try to read more of your stuff, i just lack the time right now. if written by your friend: make sure you get more of her/his stuff! and send it to me or something haha.