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for A Robot's Concept Of Beauty

12/1/2005 c1 10dvd7936
Interesting way of achieving social commentary. (w/robot) The tone of freiendly conversation/gossip works very well.questions: I was taught everything that you,

Normal people, what you think, feel,

That seems somehow wrong. Maybe add the word "say" after normal people so it a subject, get it?-The vision of her scraped shoulders covered by matted strips of clothing

Her deathlike aura

Right now it seems dsjointed.maybe add *filling my mind* to counter that?

Next: you might want to change perdict to "calculate" so it fits better with robot, but it does detract from the sound of the line, so whatever you want. Also Town from* massacuets, maybe you mean town in* Mass?

Overall very good. You could do a LOT more with the perdictablitiy of society, (how we are the robots,) OR the cold logical acessment of social norms. Etheir theme could be extended greatly if you wanted/needed to. Next choice for a review?

By the way thanks for the Isolation review, it was my first work ever. :-)
4/1/2005 c1 56from beneath the bell jar
lol: cute ending. i like the meaning of this poem and totally agree: how can you classify what's normal if everyone is different? neway very good poem
4/1/2005 c1 Amelia Grant
this is a great work! this is a perfectly told tale in flowing poetic form that keep a reader interested. nice job! i love how you described everything in the conversation with Zert-the thoughts, views, everything.
4/1/2005 c1 8K. Taylor
A very nice and thoughtful little story, quite interesting.
4/1/2005 c1 Ambyr
interesting...there is truth contained in these phrases.
4/1/2005 c1 15XantheXanthias
wow, this was so awesome! most of the stuff on this web-site is utter trash, but this was really REALLY good! i read it like five times in a row, that's how much of an impact it had on me. i like the way you slowly but deliberately made your point. great job!


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