for Irrational Fears of a Child3/11/2006 c1 
12HummerLover48
Thanks for the review. I actually haven't worked on that peice for a long time, hahaLove the Hummer
12HummerLover48Thanks for the review. I actually haven't worked on that peice for a long time, hahaLove the Hummer
8/31/2005 c1 Olivia
The ending is a little corny, but the childs fear is nicely put.
The ending is a little corny, but the childs fear is nicely put.
8/8/2005 c1 13AsTheRainFalls
It mirrors the thoughts of a small child, the same kind of choppy sentences with small ideas. Thanks for the review! I enjoy getting flames, I find them funny sometimes, but I like to see what opinions other people have about my work. We just have different views; I am an atheist and liberal.
13AsTheRainFallsIt mirrors the thoughts of a small child, the same kind of choppy sentences with small ideas. Thanks for the review! I enjoy getting flames, I find them funny sometimes, but I like to see what opinions other people have about my work. We just have different views; I am an atheist and liberal.
7/27/2005 c1 50Arael the 15th
You know what's funny, we can say the same thing about God too, daddy-o.
50Arael the 15thYou know what's funny, we can say the same thing about God too, daddy-o.
6/30/2005 c1 41Frozen Inside
haha nice. simple. confusing. i like it. just because thats what it is. thanks for putting me in your profile! haha.
41Frozen Insidehaha nice. simple. confusing. i like it. just because thats what it is. thanks for putting me in your profile! haha.
6/11/2005 c1 FictionPressWriter
I'm too lazy to sign in but nice poem and thanks for the review!~FPW
I'm too lazy to sign in but nice poem and thanks for the review!~FPW
5/25/2005 c1 183Jo Madden
This is really a good poem. I got scared at he beginning, but at the end, it's like aw! Keep it up.
JB Madden
183Jo MaddenThis is really a good poem. I got scared at he beginning, but at the end, it's like aw! Keep it up.
JB Madden
4/3/2005 c1 17TrueToMyself
Nice imitation of a little kid! The short, choppy sentences really portray that well. I saw a couple of -miniscule- errors that the poem could do without, but they aren't glaringly obvious.
Keep up the marvelous work,
TTM
17TrueToMyselfNice imitation of a little kid! The short, choppy sentences really portray that well. I saw a couple of -miniscule- errors that the poem could do without, but they aren't glaringly obvious.
Keep up the marvelous work,
TTM
4/3/2005 c1 31reggie got shot
dude, what the hell is your problem?oh wait i see. you're a republican AND a catholic. heh. awesome.
pretty good poem by the way. i like the format.
31reggie got shotdude, what the hell is your problem?oh wait i see. you're a republican AND a catholic. heh. awesome.
pretty good poem by the way. i like the format.
4/2/2005 c1 79INTP
I can understand the reason for the short, choppy, shallow sentences of this poem, as it is from the view of a child. But there are plenty of childish errors as well: "irrational" is how the word is spelled, capitalizing a phrase to emphasize it is a cheap author's technique, and "where's the shouts" would be "where're are the shouts" since the word 'shouts' is in fact plural. However, the last error probably isn't so glaring, since the lack of knowledge when it comes to grammar is believable as this is written from a child's point of view. Anyway, the racing pace of this certainly adds to the fear that you are trying to evoke, but it comes off as a slipshod and meaningless Dr. Seuss imitation.
79INTPI can understand the reason for the short, choppy, shallow sentences of this poem, as it is from the view of a child. But there are plenty of childish errors as well: "irrational" is how the word is spelled, capitalizing a phrase to emphasize it is a cheap author's technique, and "where's the shouts" would be "where're are the shouts" since the word 'shouts' is in fact plural. However, the last error probably isn't so glaring, since the lack of knowledge when it comes to grammar is believable as this is written from a child's point of view. Anyway, the racing pace of this certainly adds to the fear that you are trying to evoke, but it comes off as a slipshod and meaningless Dr. Seuss imitation.
4/2/2005 c1 sxy-lil-fairy
Intersting poem, an ending that usually ruins a piece of work makes this one better.
Intersting poem, an ending that usually ruins a piece of work makes this one better.
4/1/2005 c1 15XantheXanthias
I will accept any kind of review. As long as it is constructive (or deconstructive for that matter) criticism. So basically I don't really mind what you write, as long as it is something. So there.
15XantheXanthiasI will accept any kind of review. As long as it is constructive (or deconstructive for that matter) criticism. So basically I don't really mind what you write, as long as it is something. So there.