for Hero of the Day5/12/2005 c4 
1Lynet Nar
Gah! Don't do that, Dwight! Don't you know that in these kind of stories the police are always in on it? Hehe, I kinda like Omar, too. Tank. Interesting power. I used to make up super heroes. Mostly with mental type powers, but not all.Well, this chapter was cool, real action packed. Ok, so only half action packed, but still.
Caprice: *tries to shoot knives out of her fingers* "It's not working!"
Irony: "Duh! You don't have super powers, that's why!"
Caprice: *whacks her brother in the back of the head with a stick* "No, but I can still whup you!"
Irony:groan...
1Lynet NarGah! Don't do that, Dwight! Don't you know that in these kind of stories the police are always in on it? Hehe, I kinda like Omar, too. Tank. Interesting power. I used to make up super heroes. Mostly with mental type powers, but not all.Well, this chapter was cool, real action packed. Ok, so only half action packed, but still.
Caprice: *tries to shoot knives out of her fingers* "It's not working!"
Irony: "Duh! You don't have super powers, that's why!"
Caprice: *whacks her brother in the back of the head with a stick* "No, but I can still whup you!"
Irony:groan...
5/12/2005 c3 Lynet Nar
I still don't trust Martha. And I only trust Dwight because A. he's the main character, and B. he has no clue what's going on. How does Dwight plan to drive with his finger stuck in the ignition like that? It'd be pretty awkward. Most newer cars are designed to shut off if the key is removed. Anyway, it was an ok chapter, not much as far as the story goes, I mean, sure it reveals a lot, but not much happens. They just walk a little and steal a car. But there's still another chapter up for me to read.
I still don't trust Martha. And I only trust Dwight because A. he's the main character, and B. he has no clue what's going on. How does Dwight plan to drive with his finger stuck in the ignition like that? It'd be pretty awkward. Most newer cars are designed to shut off if the key is removed. Anyway, it was an ok chapter, not much as far as the story goes, I mean, sure it reveals a lot, but not much happens. They just walk a little and steal a car. But there's still another chapter up for me to read.
5/12/2005 c2 Lynet Nar
Hahahahaha! You know, Dwight may not be the "goodest" of people, but I like him. ... and I don't like Martha. If I were Dwight (which, I thankfully am not; just cuz I like him, doesn't mean I want to *be* him)I wouldn't trust Martha any farther than I could throw her. I mean, she shows up, apparently pretending to be loyal to both factions, and apparently doing a good job of it. So how can you trust someone like that? 'sides, who needs voices in their heads? I've got plenty on my own, thank you very much.
Caprice:"What, you don't like us?"
Winsome:"But you have to like us! We're your muses!"
Muses, schmuses. That's a fancy word for schitzofrenia.
Caprice:"... but schitzowhatsit is a fancy word. Muse isn't."
Shatap!
Hahahahaha! You know, Dwight may not be the "goodest" of people, but I like him. ... and I don't like Martha. If I were Dwight (which, I thankfully am not; just cuz I like him, doesn't mean I want to *be* him)I wouldn't trust Martha any farther than I could throw her. I mean, she shows up, apparently pretending to be loyal to both factions, and apparently doing a good job of it. So how can you trust someone like that? 'sides, who needs voices in their heads? I've got plenty on my own, thank you very much.
Caprice:"What, you don't like us?"
Winsome:"But you have to like us! We're your muses!"
Muses, schmuses. That's a fancy word for schitzofrenia.
Caprice:"... but schitzowhatsit is a fancy word. Muse isn't."
Shatap!
5/12/2005 c1 Lynet Nar
Man, you're not nice to your main characters, are you? 'Course, I guess Dwight "ain't the goodest of people..." ... % of noon..." I love it. At least he knows where his values lie when it comes to sleep. That and "I’ve been wondering where that remote was," were my favorite lines. This is good. You have some interesting storylines. You've had some trouble with mixing past and present tenses in this chapter, but I know it's not too easy to get it straight.
Man, you're not nice to your main characters, are you? 'Course, I guess Dwight "ain't the goodest of people..." ... % of noon..." I love it. At least he knows where his values lie when it comes to sleep. That and "I’ve been wondering where that remote was," were my favorite lines. This is good. You have some interesting storylines. You've had some trouble with mixing past and present tenses in this chapter, but I know it's not too easy to get it straight.
4/10/2005 c2 Prince Shoe
Still a bit confusing but it is coming along well. So first an organization of heroes then criminals, and the psychic Martha was 'supposedly' on both. Like I said still a bit confusing but I am sure it will come along real well. Keep up the good work.
Still a bit confusing but it is coming along well. So first an organization of heroes then criminals, and the psychic Martha was 'supposedly' on both. Like I said still a bit confusing but I am sure it will come along real well. Keep up the good work.
4/3/2005 c1 Prince Shoe
I am a superhero fan, and I love superheroes. I am very interesting in seeing hero stories on this site and at the site of this I was glad.(I have one of my own myself) For this most part I liked it a lot. First I will tell you what I didnt like though, I felt it was a bit rushed, your speaking of his background was nice but you should have settled him down some more first and then do the dart scene, but heck thats just my opinion. Other than that I liked it alot. The people staring made it feel eerie and cool.I also love his power, quite original, I was tired of seeing elementalists and such as superheroes, your hero's power is quite original. I love how the one woman was willing to help and in the end had no control. Also, ending with a cliffhanger is good stuff, I would like to see more happen with this storyline. I wish to see more though, Keep writing!
I am a superhero fan, and I love superheroes. I am very interesting in seeing hero stories on this site and at the site of this I was glad.(I have one of my own myself) For this most part I liked it a lot. First I will tell you what I didnt like though, I felt it was a bit rushed, your speaking of his background was nice but you should have settled him down some more first and then do the dart scene, but heck thats just my opinion. Other than that I liked it alot. The people staring made it feel eerie and cool.I also love his power, quite original, I was tired of seeing elementalists and such as superheroes, your hero's power is quite original. I love how the one woman was willing to help and in the end had no control. Also, ending with a cliffhanger is good stuff, I would like to see more happen with this storyline. I wish to see more though, Keep writing!