for Out of Customs6/17/2006 c1 
18Plinky
I like the short version better, I think, although the longer one is beautiful too, the shoter one just made me smile.
Both beautiful poems though. :D
18PlinkyI like the short version better, I think, although the longer one is beautiful too, the shoter one just made me smile.
Both beautiful poems though. :D
4/6/2006 c2 Cedric Quilfeather
I wish I had something more to say than: It's really beautiful. But I don't, so, I'll leave it at that.
It's really beautiful. ^_^ The abstractism is there, but gentle enough not to jar the reader. I commend it highly.
I wish I had something more to say than: It's really beautiful. But I don't, so, I'll leave it at that.
It's really beautiful. ^_^ The abstractism is there, but gentle enough not to jar the reader. I commend it highly.
3/18/2006 c2 50Chandra-Moon
This is truly amazing. The beginning especially is one of those rare poems that makes no sense and perfect sense all at the same time. At the end, I thought the poem got a bit rambling (probably from the stanza beginning with "I left you whole" on). It wasn't bad writing, but it was different from the beginning, where every line was sharp and fresh in your mind. It just got less interesting.
"When skies were wet with stars." What a beautiful image.
50Chandra-MoonThis is truly amazing. The beginning especially is one of those rare poems that makes no sense and perfect sense all at the same time. At the end, I thought the poem got a bit rambling (probably from the stanza beginning with "I left you whole" on). It wasn't bad writing, but it was different from the beginning, where every line was sharp and fresh in your mind. It just got less interesting.
"When skies were wet with stars." What a beautiful image.
8/10/2005 c1 saber-toothed jellybean
"when the sky/ was wet with stars" I like that. It could be a reflection, or a painting. Or a person, lost in a crowd of millions who seem to know where they are.
The sky and a fish. Two objsects that seem not to relate, but do. It leaves one to wonder.
"when the sky/ was wet with stars" I like that. It could be a reflection, or a painting. Or a person, lost in a crowd of millions who seem to know where they are.
The sky and a fish. Two objsects that seem not to relate, but do. It leaves one to wonder.
5/31/2005 c1 15charedice
while sitting on a barstool/ and old man slipped me the joker/ though I wasn't playing cards. for some reason, this reminded me of that. you need to write it into a massive saga.. so fun. me and a friend wrote 4 pages about a green beaver and his mushrooms once.
15charedicewhile sitting on a barstool/ and old man slipped me the joker/ though I wasn't playing cards. for some reason, this reminded me of that. you need to write it into a massive saga.. so fun. me and a friend wrote 4 pages about a green beaver and his mushrooms once.
4/4/2005 c1 612simpleplan13
well i do like it, but to play devils advocate... it is friggin complicated lol
612simpleplan13well i do like it, but to play devils advocate... it is friggin complicated lol
4/3/2005 c1 49Neaera
i like the imagery...so you met a fish huh? or is that just metaphorical? well any ways, i like it!
49Neaerai like the imagery...so you met a fish huh? or is that just metaphorical? well any ways, i like it!
4/3/2005 c1 23wishingdreamingwaiting
I've met fish who've known not where to swim... :-P Ahh, but I enjoyed this! And I also wanted to thank you for pointing out my typo! (Trendsetter) Thanks a bunch!
23wishingdreamingwaitingI've met fish who've known not where to swim... :-P Ahh, but I enjoyed this! And I also wanted to thank you for pointing out my typo! (Trendsetter) Thanks a bunch!
4/3/2005 c1 1SomeCowgirl
This is different, short but sweet. I'm not much for short poetry, but this captured me. Very nice, the fish, well it was different. It fit though, very good!
1SomeCowgirlThis is different, short but sweet. I'm not much for short poetry, but this captured me. Very nice, the fish, well it was different. It fit though, very good!