for Façade2/13/2016 c2 
71Bob Evans
I remember reading this story back in High School. So sad it's taken me this long to get back to it. I really wish you still tended to it, because there is so much missing since you've taken to revamping it. I would love to see this finished some day. It really has been fun to read.
71Bob EvansI remember reading this story back in High School. So sad it's taken me this long to get back to it. I really wish you still tended to it, because there is so much missing since you've taken to revamping it. I would love to see this finished some day. It really has been fun to read.
3/26/2007 c11 Bob Evans
Well, well, well; not quite the plot twist I had formulated. I guess I was wrong about Jack. But I can't quite come to terms with Mac and her "secrets". The facts just didn't add up...unless Jack really messed up her mind.
Not much to say, other than your constant use of present tense instead of past tense keeps bugging me. A few of the connections are still a little fuzzy, but I've got a pretty good overview of the whole plot...unless, perhaps, there are things not yet revealed...
Ah well; the story seems close to an end, so hurry up and update so I can see what happens!
~Bob Evans
P.S. Seeing as how you enjoy good spy stories, have you ever read the novalizations of the Splinter Cell series? If not, I'd recommend them as a good read.
Well, well, well; not quite the plot twist I had formulated. I guess I was wrong about Jack. But I can't quite come to terms with Mac and her "secrets". The facts just didn't add up...unless Jack really messed up her mind.
Not much to say, other than your constant use of present tense instead of past tense keeps bugging me. A few of the connections are still a little fuzzy, but I've got a pretty good overview of the whole plot...unless, perhaps, there are things not yet revealed...
Ah well; the story seems close to an end, so hurry up and update so I can see what happens!
~Bob Evans
P.S. Seeing as how you enjoy good spy stories, have you ever read the novalizations of the Splinter Cell series? If not, I'd recommend them as a good read.
3/23/2007 c6 Bob Evans
So we get to see Raptor and Alex again all in one chapter. Good job with your developing plot. I wonder what that mysterious bit of code was that Mac saw. Possible referrencce to Jack? Hmm...
~Bob Evans
P.S. Darn! The bomb was a trap! I was hoping we'd get a look at one of these "super" nukes.
So we get to see Raptor and Alex again all in one chapter. Good job with your developing plot. I wonder what that mysterious bit of code was that Mac saw. Possible referrencce to Jack? Hmm...
~Bob Evans
P.S. Darn! The bomb was a trap! I was hoping we'd get a look at one of these "super" nukes.
3/22/2007 c5 Bob Evans
Well after much too long a wait I finally got a chance to do some catching up. Everything looks great except for your constant present-tense use of words instead of past tense (e.g. "Mac finally 'looks' up at Jack" instead of "Mac finally 'looked' up at Jack"). But that's just me.
Personally, I don't think Jack did anything, but I do think he's got his own agenda, and Mac probably won't like the details, reguardless of the fact that they're probably for higher reasons.
I'll catch up some more later.
~Bob Evans
Well after much too long a wait I finally got a chance to do some catching up. Everything looks great except for your constant present-tense use of words instead of past tense (e.g. "Mac finally 'looks' up at Jack" instead of "Mac finally 'looked' up at Jack"). But that's just me.
Personally, I don't think Jack did anything, but I do think he's got his own agenda, and Mac probably won't like the details, reguardless of the fact that they're probably for higher reasons.
I'll catch up some more later.
~Bob Evans
3/7/2007 c11 12Moonlite Star
Ah an update! :D very long too...took me a while to read. loved it though. so much of the story unfolded! update asap. XD
12Moonlite StarAh an update! :D very long too...took me a while to read. loved it though. so much of the story unfolded! update asap. XD
2/8/2007 c1 71Bob Evans
Excellent!
This sounds like a most interesting story. I will definitely be coming back to read further. Keep up the good work!
~Bob Evans
71Bob EvansExcellent!
This sounds like a most interesting story. I will definitely be coming back to read further. Keep up the good work!
~Bob Evans
1/29/2007 c10 moonlite star
hmm i can't remember where you left off, but i dont think mac was free at the time...so yay that she is now! XD kep writing. im glad you went back and edited things...i have't even bothered to do that yet...
hmm i can't remember where you left off, but i dont think mac was free at the time...so yay that she is now! XD kep writing. im glad you went back and edited things...i have't even bothered to do that yet...
11/9/2005 c7 2Dachande663-ff
Nice story, I've been reading it slowly for a while. Some of the grammar is a bit iffy, but nothing major at all. Also do you actually know anyone called Lanchester? Just curious as it's my surname and not that common.
2Dachande663-ffNice story, I've been reading it slowly for a while. Some of the grammar is a bit iffy, but nothing major at all. Also do you actually know anyone called Lanchester? Just curious as it's my surname and not that common.
9/27/2005 c1 lili
angels with even filithier souls! i totally read your mind. the song is by hawthorne heights and it was on the ELEKTRA soundtrack! Am i right? you so got it from there! but it's so awesome. When are u gonna end it. We gotta do the movie. but save some of the subplots...in case they want a spin-off t.v. show! lol!
-i heart you!
angels with even filithier souls! i totally read your mind. the song is by hawthorne heights and it was on the ELEKTRA soundtrack! Am i right? you so got it from there! but it's so awesome. When are u gonna end it. We gotta do the movie. but save some of the subplots...in case they want a spin-off t.v. show! lol!
-i heart you!
9/19/2005 c9 2Casey-Fischer
YAY!Its just like ALis! I LOVE ALIAS!
Hey, is it Kevin or Kenny Lyman. Or is Kenny and nickname!
Its so exciting~
2Casey-FischerYAY!Its just like ALis! I LOVE ALIAS!
Hey, is it Kevin or Kenny Lyman. Or is Kenny and nickname!
Its so exciting~
9/18/2005 c10 12Moonlite Star
aww two deaths in one chap...how sad...how could you!
very interesting plot! Keep updating! update asap!
i dont mind the grammatical errors-its readable! :D
12Moonlite Staraww two deaths in one chap...how sad...how could you!
very interesting plot! Keep updating! update asap!
i dont mind the grammatical errors-its readable! :D
9/11/2005 c2 2Casey-Fischer
Hey,I have a question: What tense are you writing in? It starts off in present "she yawns" then sometimes crossed over to past (asked in a concern and interrogative voice, even though he already knew the answer") Is it meant to be?
Argh, there's the bell, will review later
2Casey-FischerHey,I have a question: What tense are you writing in? It starts off in present "she yawns" then sometimes crossed over to past (asked in a concern and interrogative voice, even though he already knew the answer") Is it meant to be?
Argh, there's the bell, will review later
9/11/2005 c1 Casey-Fischer
Hey,Just about to start reading your story.
Façade, hey? Interesting title... :D Actually, this is what caught my attention: its correlations with Alias.
I love Alias too! I'm seriously contemplating putting a little hint into my story about it...
But enough of this fluttering around, and on with your story!
Hey,Just about to start reading your story.
Façade, hey? Interesting title... :D Actually, this is what caught my attention: its correlations with Alias.
I love Alias too! I'm seriously contemplating putting a little hint into my story about it...
But enough of this fluttering around, and on with your story!
8/28/2005 c9 12Moonlite Star
“I’ve known great strong men who broke down instantly.”
“Lucky for us she’s not a man.”
Lol! loved it! hehe.
Wow cool codenames! hehe...xmen!
little Mac! yay! hehe nice memory...how sweet...
EVIL CLIFFHANGER! Awesome chapter though! so interesting! :D Update soon!
12Moonlite Star“I’ve known great strong men who broke down instantly.”
“Lucky for us she’s not a man.”
Lol! loved it! hehe.
Wow cool codenames! hehe...xmen!
little Mac! yay! hehe nice memory...how sweet...
EVIL CLIFFHANGER! Awesome chapter though! so interesting! :D Update soon!
8/11/2005 c8 Moonlite Star
Yay a review! Awesome chapter!
Heh, I just read the summary of your story...i like!
oh and i hate the cliffhanger...update soon!
Yay a review! Awesome chapter!
Heh, I just read the summary of your story...i like!
oh and i hate the cliffhanger...update soon!