for Wings of Freedom9/16/2006 c1 
8Marie Northcott
This one is special, I think. You used metaphorical images in this one, which is a difficult thing to make valid in a poem if you don't describe it well. The idea is to fill out the images with meaning and a good sense of emotion so your readers know what you're talking about. You are very good at this. I suggest you use this method a bit more because I think you could use it to make your work dazzling. I really enjoy your writing. Please keep it up.
8Marie NorthcottThis one is special, I think. You used metaphorical images in this one, which is a difficult thing to make valid in a poem if you don't describe it well. The idea is to fill out the images with meaning and a good sense of emotion so your readers know what you're talking about. You are very good at this. I suggest you use this method a bit more because I think you could use it to make your work dazzling. I really enjoy your writing. Please keep it up.
2/13/2006 c1 Joelle Duran
Load of great imagery, and the rhyme feels delightfully natural.The taste description at the end really brings this to life-fantastic!
Load of great imagery, and the rhyme feels delightfully natural.The taste description at the end really brings this to life-fantastic!
8/29/2005 c1 20Pheobe Meryll
I love it! Beautiful, as all your poems, and very sad, too. Love the last two lines; so melencholy. You might want to take the comma from "You’re the one, who made them thus," but otherwise nothing needs changing. How do you rhyme so naturally? I wish I could...best luck!
20Pheobe MeryllI love it! Beautiful, as all your poems, and very sad, too. Love the last two lines; so melencholy. You might want to take the comma from "You’re the one, who made them thus," but otherwise nothing needs changing. How do you rhyme so naturally? I wish I could...best luck!
7/24/2005 c1 Divine Pocket Dragon
This almost made me cry it was so full of emotion that ripped at my own tattered wings. *huggles* Wonderful job. ^-^
This almost made me cry it was so full of emotion that ripped at my own tattered wings. *huggles* Wonderful job. ^-^
4/15/2005 c1 2nata
Gorgeous. Simply put. I love this.
Methinks it's the sophisticated manner in which you place your words, just... I dunno. o.o; I can't place it, but it really kills that usual childish air that always accompanies those poems that rhyme. It's like Poe. =o
And it's not cliché. Which I want to glomp you for. The thing with all this angst I usually read, it's always all... Nargh. But this one actually makes you think, makes you /feel/, and isn't all "death blood I'm dying death and blood". In fact, I can almost see this as more spiritualistic..., the point hits hard...
Right. Well. -snuggle- Glad to see some of your work up, love. =D
2nataGorgeous. Simply put. I love this.
Methinks it's the sophisticated manner in which you place your words, just... I dunno. o.o; I can't place it, but it really kills that usual childish air that always accompanies those poems that rhyme. It's like Poe. =o
And it's not cliché. Which I want to glomp you for. The thing with all this angst I usually read, it's always all... Nargh. But this one actually makes you think, makes you /feel/, and isn't all "death blood I'm dying death and blood". In fact, I can almost see this as more spiritualistic..., the point hits hard...
Right. Well. -snuggle- Glad to see some of your work up, love. =D
4/13/2005 c1 126swift sky silver
wow, that was very well written. i really enjoyed reading it. the descriptions you used were fabulous... and i love how you used wings as a metaphor for freedom. keep up the great work =0)
126swift sky silverwow, that was very well written. i really enjoyed reading it. the descriptions you used were fabulous... and i love how you used wings as a metaphor for freedom. keep up the great work =0)