for T H E M9/7/2014 c1 
3lilbabykiwi
I know this is from a really long time ago (if nine years is a long time...it is), but I feel like I have to comment because it's just so awesome. Yep. Awesome. :) I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH (ILYWSM)
3lilbabykiwiI know this is from a really long time ago (if nine years is a long time...it is), but I feel like I have to comment because it's just so awesome. Yep. Awesome. :) I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH (ILYWSM)
10/1/2012 c1 5SimonClemens
Ooh, I found an interesting new read!
This is written very nicely and I'm happy to say it deserves the attention it's gotten.
Onwards I will go.
5SimonClemensOoh, I found an interesting new read!
This is written very nicely and I'm happy to say it deserves the attention it's gotten.
Onwards I will go.
8/15/2006 c17 2miss understanding
At long last! An UPDATE! *does a super-happy dance on her bed*
Why does he feel so attracted to Amelia? I agree with him. It does seem a little strange. Are the thoughts really his? Maybe someone is putting them there to confuse him. I can see why he would be loathe to like her if she is the spitting image of his sister. That could easily border on incestuous. -_-;;
"it felt to him as if a sword had been driven to the hilt in his heart" - a very vivid description.
I also like his uncomfortableness with the whole friendship vs. relationship thing in his head. Still, it does still seem like someone else might have implanted the thoughts in his head. The whole "getting away" idea. I thought they had to stick together? Is someone trying to lure him away? I can't help but wonder if something bad is going to happen.
Amelia is the witch, right? The authority figure. Suddenly, she's not quite as logical anymore. I think she cares for Sam, too, in her own strange way.
"so Sam assumed his way had been gotten" - a little awkward. You can just say, "so Sam assumed he'd gotten his way"
"Without a word further to either" - also a little awkward. How about, "Without another word he turned around and headed for the doors"?
"he saw the horizon decorated with the dying sun" - beautiful. I love your little paragraph describing the sunset. You use some very choice words, here. ^_^ However I can't help but feel that it's significant that you had him leaving during a sunset. Is something bad going to happen? Is their motley crew going to "set" for good?
All this self-doubt. He seems a bit cynical, but I would too if I had suddenly been alienated from society and hunted down by a bunch of power-hungry vampires.
His musings on the current world seem very mature for his years and somewhat tragic. He appears lonely, confused, and yet there is still that noble (albeit foolish) desire to keep his worries to himself. He seems like a very strong character, but that strength could also be a flaw.
That's so weird. Why does he suddenly believe that they aren't real? It's odd that he heard the scream just as he was about to return to the others. I bet it's a trap. One of the vampires, probably. He's the most vulnerable and they're going to use that to their advantage to snare them one by one.
*sighs* Another evil cliffhanger. I hope you update soon. T_T I really love this story, ya know. I feel like I've been reading it forever even though it's only been a year. ^_^;;
I'm looking forward to that promised exhilerating update.
xchoco
2miss understandingAt long last! An UPDATE! *does a super-happy dance on her bed*
Why does he feel so attracted to Amelia? I agree with him. It does seem a little strange. Are the thoughts really his? Maybe someone is putting them there to confuse him. I can see why he would be loathe to like her if she is the spitting image of his sister. That could easily border on incestuous. -_-;;
"it felt to him as if a sword had been driven to the hilt in his heart" - a very vivid description.
I also like his uncomfortableness with the whole friendship vs. relationship thing in his head. Still, it does still seem like someone else might have implanted the thoughts in his head. The whole "getting away" idea. I thought they had to stick together? Is someone trying to lure him away? I can't help but wonder if something bad is going to happen.
Amelia is the witch, right? The authority figure. Suddenly, she's not quite as logical anymore. I think she cares for Sam, too, in her own strange way.
"so Sam assumed his way had been gotten" - a little awkward. You can just say, "so Sam assumed he'd gotten his way"
"Without a word further to either" - also a little awkward. How about, "Without another word he turned around and headed for the doors"?
"he saw the horizon decorated with the dying sun" - beautiful. I love your little paragraph describing the sunset. You use some very choice words, here. ^_^ However I can't help but feel that it's significant that you had him leaving during a sunset. Is something bad going to happen? Is their motley crew going to "set" for good?
All this self-doubt. He seems a bit cynical, but I would too if I had suddenly been alienated from society and hunted down by a bunch of power-hungry vampires.
His musings on the current world seem very mature for his years and somewhat tragic. He appears lonely, confused, and yet there is still that noble (albeit foolish) desire to keep his worries to himself. He seems like a very strong character, but that strength could also be a flaw.
That's so weird. Why does he suddenly believe that they aren't real? It's odd that he heard the scream just as he was about to return to the others. I bet it's a trap. One of the vampires, probably. He's the most vulnerable and they're going to use that to their advantage to snare them one by one.
*sighs* Another evil cliffhanger. I hope you update soon. T_T I really love this story, ya know. I feel like I've been reading it forever even though it's only been a year. ^_^;;
I'm looking forward to that promised exhilerating update.
xchoco
2/17/2006 c16 icewolf9
Hiya!
SO sorry its taken me about half a millenium 2 finally get around to readin!
WOW.
I think its good 2 hav a short chappie every now and then, coz it breaks up the pace a bit!
luffly effil chappie! me likies it muchlies! ^.^
do update soon, n i'll try n review faster next chappie!
~wolfeh (14.36)
Hiya!
SO sorry its taken me about half a millenium 2 finally get around to readin!
WOW.
I think its good 2 hav a short chappie every now and then, coz it breaks up the pace a bit!
luffly effil chappie! me likies it muchlies! ^.^
do update soon, n i'll try n review faster next chappie!
~wolfeh (14.36)
2/15/2006 c14 14TookyToucan
uh oh, poor joe. i like your description of his transformation. well done. don't confuse "forward" and "forwards" though!
14TookyToucanuh oh, poor joe. i like your description of his transformation. well done. don't confuse "forward" and "forwards" though!
2/15/2006 c13 TookyToucan
im back! well sorry for not reviewing for such a long time, i've just kinda strayed from fictionpress. well, your story continues! the only thing is, amelia's power seems a little too farfetched and unlimited now... i think that might be kinda risky for the plot of your story... and you also use "was" instead of "were" lots of times. and, does the factory have any owners? well whatever, im nuts, great story! i'll keep on reading!
im back! well sorry for not reviewing for such a long time, i've just kinda strayed from fictionpress. well, your story continues! the only thing is, amelia's power seems a little too farfetched and unlimited now... i think that might be kinda risky for the plot of your story... and you also use "was" instead of "were" lots of times. and, does the factory have any owners? well whatever, im nuts, great story! i'll keep on reading!
12/17/2005 c15 2miss understanding
Ha ha! Their little banter is so cute and realistic. I was wrong, I see. Phillip was one in the cell. I can't believe JOe's a werewolf. I think their nicknames are appropriate and intriguing. So I suppose this is the beginning of their amazing little team. Amelia makes a good witch. Despite her level-headedness, I noticed she's sort of conceited too. ^_^ Hannah seems like the practical joker of the group. Joe clearly has a temper and Phillip, of course, is the one with a dark and mysterious past. I look forward to knowing more about him. Still, you haven't written about the vampires in a while. They were so evil and it was marvellously fun reading about their evil deeds-particularly when their fearless leader was involved. I hope you update soon! Ciao! X3 Choco
2miss understandingHa ha! Their little banter is so cute and realistic. I was wrong, I see. Phillip was one in the cell. I can't believe JOe's a werewolf. I think their nicknames are appropriate and intriguing. So I suppose this is the beginning of their amazing little team. Amelia makes a good witch. Despite her level-headedness, I noticed she's sort of conceited too. ^_^ Hannah seems like the practical joker of the group. Joe clearly has a temper and Phillip, of course, is the one with a dark and mysterious past. I look forward to knowing more about him. Still, you haven't written about the vampires in a while. They were so evil and it was marvellously fun reading about their evil deeds-particularly when their fearless leader was involved. I hope you update soon! Ciao! X3 Choco
12/17/2005 c14 miss understanding
Amelia seems like the most level-headed of the group. You have to respect the fact that she's so cool. Joe seems...almost like the dark half. Wasn't he the one in the jail cell at the beginning? I could've sworn he was. I wonder if he'll turn on the rest of them. He's quick to anger and seems intent on having things his way. Moreover, I'm sorry for not reviewing in ages. I feel horrible, but i'm back! Yay! *clicks next chapter button*
Amelia seems like the most level-headed of the group. You have to respect the fact that she's so cool. Joe seems...almost like the dark half. Wasn't he the one in the jail cell at the beginning? I could've sworn he was. I wonder if he'll turn on the rest of them. He's quick to anger and seems intent on having things his way. Moreover, I'm sorry for not reviewing in ages. I feel horrible, but i'm back! Yay! *clicks next chapter button*
12/14/2005 c15 icewolf9
Hehehe, i LOVE this chappie! The humour! Hehehe! I was crackin up! Hehehehehe! ^^ Oh, man, brilliant writing! And now they get their nicknames! ^^
Waiting anxiously for the next update! ^^ov wa
~icewolf9(11.04)
Hehehe, i LOVE this chappie! The humour! Hehehe! I was crackin up! Hehehehehe! ^^ Oh, man, brilliant writing! And now they get their nicknames! ^^
Waiting anxiously for the next update! ^^ov wa
~icewolf9(11.04)
11/27/2005 c14 deppfreak
AH! I need more! lol that cliff was to much! this story is like an addiction
AH! I need more! lol that cliff was to much! this story is like an addiction
11/26/2005 c14 2Fantasy773
Thank you for restating their powers. It had been so long since you updated that I had forgotten a few of them. But I digress. On to the review.
Nice. I like the way you gave them a "base" of sorts to stay. Amelia's powers are easily the most fascinating now. I wish I could make plasma screen T.V.s appear out of seemingly no where.
You also managed to capture the deep feelings that lay inside of Joe. It feels like he is mentally the youngest of the group, like he's an adolescent going through several changes he can't quite understand. Which fit his power quite well might I add.
Speaking of his power, I'm not too sure of him being a werewolf. I mean, it just seems too close to Katie's power. But I assume that this power will be important to the storyline as a whole. I get the feeling that Joe will serve a much greater purpose than I had originally expected.
And your description of his trannsformation i very painful to say the least. Could you have been anymore clear in how he felt and how Katie felt about what she was seeing!
Loved the cchapters you added. Keep them coming. I know you're working hard on other projects too.
2Fantasy773Thank you for restating their powers. It had been so long since you updated that I had forgotten a few of them. But I digress. On to the review.
Nice. I like the way you gave them a "base" of sorts to stay. Amelia's powers are easily the most fascinating now. I wish I could make plasma screen T.V.s appear out of seemingly no where.
You also managed to capture the deep feelings that lay inside of Joe. It feels like he is mentally the youngest of the group, like he's an adolescent going through several changes he can't quite understand. Which fit his power quite well might I add.
Speaking of his power, I'm not too sure of him being a werewolf. I mean, it just seems too close to Katie's power. But I assume that this power will be important to the storyline as a whole. I get the feeling that Joe will serve a much greater purpose than I had originally expected.
And your description of his trannsformation i very painful to say the least. Could you have been anymore clear in how he felt and how Katie felt about what she was seeing!
Loved the cchapters you added. Keep them coming. I know you're working hard on other projects too.
11/26/2005 c14 icewolf9
YAY! You updated! YAYNESS! ^^
OO
WOW. OMG! OMG! OMG!
.. how did she KNOW? Gah... mm...Questions, questions, questions. Wow...
Awesome descriptions! I almost felt Joe's pain!
Whats gonna happen now? Need... to... know...
Do update! ^^
~wolfeh (18.11)
YAY! You updated! YAYNESS! ^^
OO
WOW. OMG! OMG! OMG!
.. how did she KNOW? Gah... mm...Questions, questions, questions. Wow...
Awesome descriptions! I almost felt Joe's pain!
Whats gonna happen now? Need... to... know...
Do update! ^^
~wolfeh (18.11)
11/25/2005 c2 deppfreak
i love the way you write. it reminds me of Stephen King and his style. very good, i'm really enjoying this
i love the way you write. it reminds me of Stephen King and his style. very good, i'm really enjoying this